Kalmia wrote:
> On Mar 17, 9:50 pm, "Julie Bove" > wrote:
>> "Brooklyn1" <Gravesend1> wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> On Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:39:34 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
>>> > wrote:
>>
>>>> Just in case anyone was wondering...... I have ordered 8 types of
>>>> Peets coffee beans, a load of Penzey blends, and will arrange it
>>>> all in a large, decorator box (reusable) with some new dishcloths
>>>> as 'excelsior'. The day before I present the gift, I will make a
>>>> batch of chocolate, almond biscotti and, if they are decent, I'll
>>>> add those too.
>>
>>>> Thanks for all your ideas.
>>
>>> A Penzeys assortment is useful for anyone who cooks so long as it's
>>> seasonings they like, but what if they don't drink coffee, and most
>>> folks don't own a coffee bean grinder. I really don't see any
>>> connection between spice blends and coffee beans unless they're
>>> seperate gifts for a grab bag. Maybe I'm out of touch but I would
>>> never give comestibles as a wedding gift, especially not for people
>>> I barely know. Just last week aquaintences gifted me a two pound
>>> bag of coffee beans from their native land, Colombia. The next day
>>> I put some in my coffee grinder so they'd be reqdy for me to try. I
>>> gotta say, I was very disappointed, they produced a pot of coffee
>>> that tasted awful, after a few sips it went down the drain. I tried
>>> them again the next morning, but still they produced the most
>>> scuzzy brew, I dumped it. The beans are still in my grinder only
>>> because I'm still trying to decide if I'll toss them in my
>>> composter or in the trash, it's still too mucky outside to get to
>>> my composter. This was a gift for no occasion, but I would never
>>> consider giving coffee as a wedding gift... maybe you should have
>>> given a nice burr grinder, they are not very pricy, certainly would
>>> have cost less than the discombobulated assortment you bought.
>>> Maybe it's still not too late. I didn't reply to be mean, you made
>>> the post so must have wanted opinions so I gave my honest opinion,
>>> I'm sure most will give you their disingenuous atta girl.
>>
>> I don't drink coffee at all. And I quit giving it as a gift because
>> the fancy stuff we drink here in the Seattle area is not the stuff
>> people seem to want elsewhere. Outside of this area, the people I
>> know who drink coffee, drink the stuff in a can from the grocery
>> store. Here, people are very picky. We have those little huts on
>> almost every corner. Placing an order can be quite an ordeal because
>> of all the options available.
>>
>> I would also most likely not use anything from Penzeys because they
>> put things in their spice mixes that I don't want in there. Like
>> dairy in the Taco seasoning.
>
> So, what would YOU have given?

I only give cash as a wedding gift.

You didn't say prior that you knew the bride liked coffee. That makes a big
difference.

On Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:29:32 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> wrote:

>Kalmia wrote:
>> On Mar 17, 9:50 pm, "Julie Bove" > wrote:
>>> "Brooklyn1" <Gravesend1> wrote in message
>>>
>>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>> On Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:39:34 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
>>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>>> Just in case anyone was wondering...... I have ordered 8 types of
>>>>> Peets coffee beans, a load of Penzey blends, and will arrange it
>>>>> all in a large, decorator box (reusable) with some new dishcloths
>>>>> as 'excelsior'. The day before I present the gift, I will make a
>>>>> batch of chocolate, almond biscotti and, if they are decent, I'll
>>>>> add those too.
>>>
>>>>> Thanks for all your ideas.
>>>
>>>> A Penzeys assortment is useful for anyone who cooks so long as it's
>>>> seasonings they like, but what if they don't drink coffee, and most
>>>> folks don't own a coffee bean grinder. I really don't see any
>>>> connection between spice blends and coffee beans unless they're
>>>> seperate gifts for a grab bag. Maybe I'm out of touch but I would
>>>> never give comestibles as a wedding gift, especially not for people
>>>> I barely know. Just last week aquaintences gifted me a two pound
>>>> bag of coffee beans from their native land, Colombia. The next day
>>>> I put some in my coffee grinder so they'd be reqdy for me to try. I
>>>> gotta say, I was very disappointed, they produced a pot of coffee
>>>> that tasted awful, after a few sips it went down the drain. I tried
>>>> them again the next morning, but still they produced the most
>>>> scuzzy brew, I dumped it. The beans are still in my grinder only
>>>> because I'm still trying to decide if I'll toss them in my
>>>> composter or in the trash, it's still too mucky outside to get to
>>>> my composter. This was a gift for no occasion, but I would never
>>>> consider giving coffee as a wedding gift... maybe you should have
>>>> given a nice burr grinder, they are not very pricy, certainly would
>>>> have cost less than the discombobulated assortment you bought.
>>>> Maybe it's still not too late. I didn't reply to be mean, you made
>>>> the post so must have wanted opinions so I gave my honest opinion,
>>>> I'm sure most will give you their disingenuous atta girl.
>>>
>>> I don't drink coffee at all. And I quit giving it as a gift because
>>> the fancy stuff we drink here in the Seattle area is not the stuff
>>> people seem to want elsewhere. Outside of this area, the people I
>>> know who drink coffee, drink the stuff in a can from the grocery
>>> store. Here, people are very picky. We have those little huts on
>>> almost every corner. Placing an order can be quite an ordeal because
>>> of all the options available.
>>>
>>> I would also most likely not use anything from Penzeys because they
>>> put things in their spice mixes that I don't want in there. Like
>>> dairy in the Taco seasoning.
>>
>> So, what would YOU have given?
>
>I only give cash as a wedding gift.
>
>You didn't say prior that you knew the bride liked coffee. That makes a big
>difference.

I see no big difference... most people like coffee but I'd still not
give it as a wedding gift... I like chocolate much better than coffee
but still would be flummoxed to receive chocolates as a wedding gift.

On Mar 18, 3:43*pm, Brooklyn1 <Gravesend1> wrote:
> On Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:29:32 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>
>
>
> > wrote:
> >Kalmia wrote:
> >> On Mar 17, 9:50 pm, "Julie Bove" > wrote:
> >>> "Brooklyn1" <Gravesend1> wrote in message
>
> ...
>
> >>>> On Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:39:34 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
> >>>> > wrote:
>
> >>>>> Just in case anyone was wondering...... I have ordered 8 types of
> >>>>> Peets coffee beans, a load of Penzey blends, and will arrange it
> >>>>> all in a large, decorator box (reusable) with some new dishcloths
> >>>>> as 'excelsior'. The day before I present the gift, I will make a
> >>>>> batch of chocolate, almond biscotti and, if they are decent, I'll
> >>>>> add those too.
>
> >>>>> Thanks for all your ideas.
>
> >>>> A Penzeys assortment is useful for anyone who cooks so long as it's
> >>>> seasonings they like, but what if they don't drink coffee, and most
> >>>> folks don't own a coffee bean grinder. I really don't see any
> >>>> connection between spice blends and coffee beans unless they're
> >>>> seperate gifts for a grab bag. Maybe I'm out of touch but I would
> >>>> never give comestibles as a wedding gift, especially not for people
> >>>> I barely know. Just last week aquaintences gifted me a two pound
> >>>> bag of coffee beans from their native land, Colombia. The next day
> >>>> I put some in my coffee grinder so they'd be reqdy for me to try. I
> >>>> gotta say, I was very disappointed, they produced a pot of coffee
> >>>> that tasted awful, after a few sips it went down the drain. I tried
> >>>> them again the next morning, but still they produced the most
> >>>> scuzzy brew, I dumped it. The beans are still in my grinder only
> >>>> because I'm still trying to decide if I'll toss them in my
> >>>> composter or in the trash, it's still too mucky outside to get to
> >>>> my composter. This was a gift for no occasion, but I would never
> >>>> consider giving coffee as a wedding gift... maybe you should have
> >>>> given a nice burr grinder, they are not very pricy, certainly would
> >>>> have cost less than the discombobulated assortment you bought.
> >>>> Maybe it's still not too late. I didn't reply to be mean, you made
> >>>> the post so must have wanted opinions so I gave my honest opinion,
> >>>> I'm sure most will give you their disingenuous atta girl.
>
> >>> I don't drink coffee at all. And I quit giving it as a gift because
> >>> the fancy stuff we drink here in the Seattle area is not the stuff
> >>> people seem to want elsewhere. Outside of this area, the people I
> >>> know who drink coffee, drink the stuff in a can from the grocery
> >>> store. Here, people are very picky. We have those little huts on
> >>> almost every corner. Placing an order can be quite an ordeal because
> >>> of all the options available.
>
> >>> I would also most likely not use anything from Penzeys because they
> >>> put things in their spice mixes that I don't want in there. Like
> >>> dairy in the Taco seasoning.
>
> >> So, what would YOU have given?
>
> >I only give cash as a wedding gift.
>
> >You didn't say prior that you knew the bride liked coffee. *That makes a big
> >difference.
>
> I see no big difference... most people like coffee but I'd still not
> give it as a wedding gift... I like chocolate much better than coffee
> but still would be flummoxed to receive chocolates as a wedding gift.

I'd much rather get some artisanal chocolate than some cheap Chinese
waffleiron I'd only have to find room for and never use.

Brooklyn1 wrote:
> On Fri, 18 Mar 2011 15:29:32 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> > wrote:

>> I only give cash as a wedding gift.
>>
>> You didn't say prior that you knew the bride liked coffee. That makes a big
>> difference.
>
> I see no big difference... most people like coffee but I'd still not
> give it as a wedding gift... I like chocolate much better than coffee
> but still would be flummoxed to receive chocolates as a wedding gift.

Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
not be disposable.

On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
>
> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
> not be disposable.

I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash. We still have
almost everything that we were given as wedding gifts, and still know
who gave them to us.

On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:06:42 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

> On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
> >
> > Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
> > rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
> > necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
> > not be disposable.
>
> I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash. We still have
> almost everything that we were given as wedding gifts, and still know
> who gave them to us.

Oh for heaven's sake. It's a second marriage (at least #2) and in
their 70's. I don't think they need to worry about anything lasting
for decades.

--

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

On 25/03/2011 3:50 AM, sf wrote:
> On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:06:42 -0400, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>> On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
>>>
>>> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
>>> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
>>> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
>>> not be disposable.
>>
>> I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash. We still have
>> almost everything that we were given as wedding gifts, and still know
>> who gave them to us.
>
> Oh for heaven's sake. It's a second marriage (at least #2) and in
> their 70's. I don't think they need to worry about anything lasting
> for decades.
>

Well.... This particular wedding was a repeat performance involving
experienced players. I was thinking in terms of weddings in general.

Given that a lot of modern marriages don't last as long as the
engagement and some people are serial marriers, how many wedding gifts
is one expected to buy for friends and relatives who cannot maintain
relationships?

On Fri, 25 Mar 2011 10:11:48 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

> Given that a lot of modern marriages don't last as long as the
> engagement and some people are serial marriers, how many wedding gifts
> is one expected to buy for friends and relatives who cannot maintain
> relationships?

The topic wasn't about that and I'm not going there.

--

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

On Mar 25, 3:50*am, sf > wrote:
> On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:06:42 -0400, Dave Smith
>
> > wrote:
> > On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
>
> > > Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
> > > rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
> > > necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
> > > not be disposable.
>
> > I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash. We still have
> > almost everything that we were given as wedding gifts, and still know
> > who gave them to us.
>
> Oh for heaven's sake. *It's a second marriage (at least #2) and in
> their 70's. *I don't think they need to worry about anything lasting
> for decades.
>
> --
>
> Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

AND....I think it's a 3rd for one of them.

On Sat, 26 Mar 2011 12:41:52 -0700 (PDT), Kalmia
> wrote:

> AND....I think it's a 3rd for one of them.

Some people tend to lose their spouses by death, not divorce. I know
an elderly man who has married for the third time. He was widowed
twice. It happens frequently at a certain age.

--

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:06:42 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
>>
>> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
>> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
>> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
>> not be disposable.
>
>I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash.

Cash is always appropriate for a wedding gift (actually the most
appropriate gift), especially when you don't know the couple well
enough to give a *thing* you know with certainty that they need. And
age doesn't enter into it, cash is most appreciated at any age. I
actually think it's insulting to give any comestibles, especially to
to a mature couple... that's like giving charity, a care package...
it's a wedding, not a food drive for the destitute. Coffee beans is
what someone gives as a host/ess gift to a good friend (you know the
coffee they like) when invited to dinner... for a wedding giving
coffee beans says you don't know beans nor do you care a bean. And
adding insult to injury coffee beans will likely be considered a
re-gift... the *only* appropriate way to give Peets beans is to have
them sent directly from Peets... giving *rewrapped* beans one probably
had at home is an insult. For a wedding gift one either gives cash or
something in the original packaging, with the reciept so it can be
exchanged. There are some couples that an appropriate wedding gift is
a case of good wine and cash, but never ever coffee beans... may as
well be jelly beans.

On 25/03/2011 11:33 AM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> On Thu, 24 Mar 2011 22:06:42 -0400, Dave Smith
> > wrote:
>
>> On 24/03/2011 10:01 PM, Goomba wrote:
>>>
>>> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
>>> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
>>> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
>>> not be disposable.
>>
>> I'm with you Goomba. I don't even like to give cash.
>
> Cash is always appropriate for a wedding gift (actually the most
> appropriate gift), especially when you don't know the couple well
> enough to give a *thing* you know with certainty that they need. And
> age doesn't enter into it, cash is most appreciated at any age.

I suppose cash works if you don't know them well enough to know what
they want or need. But then again, if you don't know them that well why
are you obligated to spend a lot of money on a present for them?







> I actually think it's insulting to give any comestibles, especially to
> to a mature couple... that's like giving charity, a care package...


I agree. I don't know the couple or their circumstances but IMO that
might be an appropriate house warming gift, not a wedding gift.



> For a wedding gift one either gives cash or
> something in the original packaging, with the reciept so it can be
> exchanged.

Gift with the receipt in it so that they can exchange it?? I Sure, if
it turns out put to be a duplicate. I don't think it should be exchanged
because they didn't like it or wanted something else. Maybe I am now
old enough to be a curmudgeon who figures they should take what they
were given and be grateful for whatever it is.


> There are some couples that an appropriate wedding gift is
> a case of good wine and cash, but never ever coffee beans... may as
> well be jelly beans.

I can think of people for whom that might be appropriate. One of them
would be a niece of mine who was married last year. She and her husband
had been working overseas and were starting fresh. They had no car and a
friend of her parents who is in the used car business gave them a car.
It was an economy model with a manual transmission, a few years old but
apparently in excellent condition. She didn't like it and complained
that it had a manual transmission and she doesn't know how to drive a
manual. After about 6 months she sold it. Sure it was a used car, but
it was worth a hell of a lot more than friends of a bride's parents
would be expected to spend on a wedding gift. They even had the nerve
to ask him to sell it for them. I would understand if he if took the
car, sold it and kept the money. Ingrate.

In article >,
Goomba > wrote:


> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
> not be disposable.

This thread wasn't the original, but as I remember this was two people
who already had two full households full of stuff, so they needed to cut
back on duplicates, not set up a new household.

Besides, life has changed. We went to a wedding earlier this month.
The month before, they had a party to meet their baby. They had been
living together for at least a couple of years. It may once have been
traditional to get married, then set up house and only then have babies.

--
Dan Abel
Petaluma, California USA

Dan Abel wrote:
> In article >,
> Goomba > wrote:
>
>
>> Who gives consumables for a wedding gift!? Not what I consider de
>> rigueur at all. Traditionally people gave gifts of lasting value (not
>> necessarily expensive) which are meant to help set up home and *last*,
>> not be disposable.
>
> This thread wasn't the original, but as I remember this was two people
> who already had two full households full of stuff, so they needed to cut
> back on duplicates, not set up a new household.
>
> Besides, life has changed. We went to a wedding earlier this month.
> The month before, they had a party to meet their baby. They had been
> living together for at least a couple of years. It may once have been
> traditional to get married, then set up house and only then have babies.
>

And I look upon people who have already set up house before the marriage
differently than those who don't. I probably won't give them quite the
same gift but surely not something disposable or consumable.

In article >,
Goomba > wrote:
> And I look upon people who have already set up house before the marriage
> differently than those who don't. I probably won't give them quite the
> same gift but surely not something disposable or consumable.

There was, I believe, more to the gift than consumables.

--
Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
Holy Order of the Sacred Sisters of St. Pectina of Jella
"Always in a jam, never in a stew; sometimes in a pickle."
Pepparkakor particulars posted 11-29-2010;
http://web.me.com/barbschaller

On Sat, 26 Mar 2011 13:55:57 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote:

>In article >,
> Goomba > wrote:
>> And I look upon people who have already set up house before the marriage
>> differently than those who don't. I probably won't give them quite the
>> same gift but surely not something disposable or consumable.
>
>There was, I believe, more to the gift than consumables.

I remember only coffee beans and spice blends, both consumables... I
called them comestibles even though coffee is not technically a food.