So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were
doing for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what
everyone is doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not
going out of town this year."

I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." This
isn't something that I do, so I was off put. Anyway, I stated our
plans, followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I
did mean it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my
plans without inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband
and let us know. This was Sunday.

It's wednesday evening. I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
and I need to do that friday morning. Do I enquire as to whether
they're coming? If so, when do I do this? How long do I wait? Or do I
just plan for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me know so
I didn't plan for you? I don't know what to do, as I don't DO this to
people and I'm quite irked about it. I'm not planning on a ham or
something that feeds plenty, but appetizers and beef filet. When I'm
invited somewhere, I let them know pretty much asap. They do have a
history of both waiting until the day of to let us know or, as happened
last time, agreeing to come with a group, but them backing out at the
last minute because the rest of the group had to cancel and "it would
just be us, so we'll cancel too." (grrr!!!!)

Yes, I used the term "friends"....they're important to my husband and I
don't want to burn bridges.
--
Currently Reading: Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold