My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
and desserts.

Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
candied walnuts and gougeres.

We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
appetizer."

She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....

She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.

If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
ego.

What would _you_ have done?

fuming in ri