Rule # 1: Don't read the user manual. If you read and follow the
user manual, you will have to think while you load it, and you won't
be able to put nearly as many dishes in it.

Rule #2: Rinse your dishes in the sink before you put them in the
dishwasher. This will make them appear to be clean after you have
incorrectly loaded your dishwasher, causing it to fail to wash your
dishes.

Rule #3: Don't wash fine glassware in your dishwasher, since you
don't know that you should fill the detergent cups 1/3 full if you
have soft water, and you probably have soft water. (Actually, all
your everyday glassware has been etched by excessive detergent: be
sure not to examine it.)

Rule #4: Cram as many dishes as you can in there. But if you are not
inclined to to this, don't worry. Since you never learned how to load
it, it won't wash your dishes even if you don't cram as many as you
can in it.