Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
<G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
fussy. In my mind there is, but I am having a difficult time
articulating it. Here is what Kimberly said:

"I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I
like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I do
have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for example.
Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper should
ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or stews, and for
the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in with the taters
and gravy! Abomination. I try, whenever possible, to make sure none of
my foods touch, unless of course they were meant to be touchy feely
with each other. For example, green beans (or any vegetable really)
should never touch the gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and
dressing. All those things get eaten as one. On the other hand, if I
have a baked potato, it doesn't get to touch anything, since it's on a
separate plate. And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No
apples with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple
on my ham, and not on my pizza either. The sole exception to this would
be bbq sauce, because I like the tomato-brown sugar type. Ok, so maybe
I am picky."

Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? Fussy
or Picky?

What about, ". . .and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the
corn in with the taters and gravy!" Fussy or Picky?

Or, ". . . green beans (or any vegetable really) should never touch the
gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and dressing." Fussy or
Picky?

What about, "And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No apples
with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple on my
ham, and not on my pizza either." Fussy or Picky?

I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me
grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
"Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"

Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.

I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
"What you say about someone else says more
about you than it does about the other person."

"Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio

> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy.

> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"

They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of them.
Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am doing the
work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what kindergarten
hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I want them to take
it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is disgusting, her
effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef may be acquainted
with spice and onion.
>
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not fond
> of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?

Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy. In my mind there is, but I am having a difficult time
> articulating it. Here is what Kimberly said:

snippage...

>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?


I think there is difference between fussy and picky. Kimberly sound
fussy to me as well. The DH calls me picky because I don't eat fish.
He will eat nearly anything. BUT corn - is disgusting - to him anyway
and forget about meatloaf.

I do not consider myself picky - but I don't like certain things either.
My in laws think I am weird because I don't like tongue or heart or
cow's feet. Whenever we go to their place for dinner and they make
something like this, there is usually other things to eat as well like
salad or other veggies. I make do.They offer to cook something extra for
me but I tell them it is not necessary.

If I had THEM at my place and they didn't like the main course they
would bring their own food or we would have to make something for that
person. I recall a Thanksgiving where my new SIL said she was allergic
to turkey and we had to cook her a steak. She isn't allergic to turkey
anymore. Amazing. During another Thanksgiving a different SIL brought a
small roasted chicken - for herself. Really.

There was a show on food tv not too long ago about people with weird
food hangups. One guy only ate cheese sandwiches and that's it. He was
single. Shocking, I know.

-Tracy

Melba's Jammin' wrote:

> "I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
> it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
> pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I
> like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I
> do have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for
> example. Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper
> should ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or
> stews, and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in
> with the taters and gravy! Abomination. I try, whenever possible, to
> make sure none of my foods touch, unless of course they were meant to
> be touchy feely with each other. For example, green beans (or any
> vegetable really) should never touch the gravy, but potatoes can
> touch meat and gravy and dressing. All those things get eaten as one.
> On the other hand, if I have a baked potato, it doesn't get to touch
> anything, since it's on a separate plate. And no sweet stuff on my
> savory stuff, please. No apples with the pork, and definitely not in
> my dressing. No pineapple on my ham, and not on my pizza either. The
> sole exception to this would be bbq sauce, because I like the
> tomato-brown sugar type. Ok, so maybe I am picky."
>
> Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall?
> Fussy or Picky?
>
> What about, ". . .and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix
> the corn in with the taters and gravy!" Fussy or Picky?
>
> Or, ". . . green beans (or any vegetable really) should never touch
> the gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and dressing."
> Fussy or Picky?
>
> What about, "And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No apples
> with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple on my
> ham, and not on my pizza either." Fussy or Picky?
>
> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me
> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his
> peculiarities, a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego
> out of a jar with ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if
> the amendment to the jarred stuff should included chopped onion or
> celery. I want to say, "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater
> and a picky eater? How would you describe the differences?

To me, if you find everyone around you is all the time having to
change what's on the menu because you don't like it, you're picky.
It's annoying after a while, and who decided you're the last word
on what's for dinner.

If you like to eat your food the way it was made, for instance,
you made your green bean recipe and it didn't include potatoes
and gravy, why is it weird you'd like them to stay that way. In
other words, I like the individual flavors and textures of the stuff
on my plate. I guess that can be called fussy, but I don't think
it's skin off anyone's teeth how you arrange your food on your
own plate.

Don't get me wrong, I don't get crazy if my food touches. It
really is not that big a deal* if it happens. But I get that one
would rather the gravy not leach over into the green beans.

*It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
go there. Heh.

nancy

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy. In my mind there is, but I am having a difficult time
> articulating it. Here is what Kimberly said:
snip examples
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
> --
> -Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
When you started your post, I was ready to say that there is a difference
between fussy and picky. Your aversion to beets is just one of simple
dislike that I would cater to no differently than I would to someone that
had a dietary reason for not eating something. But fussy and picky have
merged in my mind based on your examples. The examples given are ones that
we have all seen in children at one time or another. There is no good
reason for eating that way other than psychological. However, I'm guessing
that to the eater the habit is strongly important. The PITA eater is one
that changes their mind about what they will eat and won't eat according to
how contrary they are feeling at the time. The PITAs make you want to smack
them hard.
No clear thoughts on this one.
Janet

On Wed, 8 Apr 2009 17:21:32 +0200, "Giusi" > wrote:

>They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
>to maintain control over.

Being "late" is another passive way to keep control of situations. My
mother was late for everything...."we can't go until I am ready".....

>
> "I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
> it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
> pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I
> like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I do
> have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for example.
> Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper should
> ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or stews, and for
> the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in with the taters
> and gravy!
>
> Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? *Fussy
> or Picky?
>
> What about, ". . .and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the
> corn in with the taters and gravy!" *Fussy or Picky?
>
> Or, ". . . green beans (or any vegetable really) should never touch the
> gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and dressing." *Fussy or
> Picky?

> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> son-in-law as a picky eater. *Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! *Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me
> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> a big one of which is about textures. *He wants Prego out of a jar with
> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. *I want to say,
> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? *IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. *There are lots of things I'm not
> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: *Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? *How would you describe the differences?
> --
> -Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJhttp://web.me.com/barbschaller- good news 4-6-2009
> "What you say about someone else says more
> about you than it does about the other person."

I'm with Kath on the corn thing, because (1) corn should always stand
alone, and (2) I'm from the "I-O-Way, Where the Tall Corn Grows." If
I see it mixed in anything - like salsa, or cold salad - it looks like
vomit to me....can't eat it.

I'm also with her a little bit on the potatoes-gravy-dressing thing is
o.k., ...but I'm not fussy about foods touching each other.

Definitions to me: Fussy - means I'll eat anything but they have to
behave to my standards when on the plate. Picky means I will only eat
certain things fixed a certain way, or not at all in some cases.

My sons don't like celery in dressing or any casserole - in anything,
actually. I call that picky.

Fussy is my thing about corn not being mixed in soup, salad, salsa, or
anything else.

N.

On Apr 8, 10:01*am, Melba's Jammin' >
wrote:
> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About


Sorry, I should have said, "Kim," not "Kath." (And I never even
watched that show!) LOL.

N.

>
> *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. *Don't
> go there. *Heh.
>
> nancy *- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

But maple syrup and bacon just GO TOGETHER! LOL.

N.

Nancy2 wrote:
>> *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
>> go there. Heh.

> But maple syrup and bacon just GO TOGETHER! LOL.

Don't make me come over there!! (laugh) I'll hurt you!

nancy

On Apr 8, 8:01*am, Melba's Jammin' > wrote:
> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" *got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy. * [snip]
> I repeat my question: *Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? *How would you describe the differences?

One word means much the same as the other, to me. The distinction I
make is between those attitudes and behaviors that I am willing to try
to accommodate and those that I won't. Food dislikes don't bother me--
anyone is welcome to not want anything on the grounds of taste,
texture, flavor combinations or whatever and I'll try not to serve it
to them. Ideological or religious dislikes seem less legitimate to
me, probably because food and eating matter more to me than most
ideologies and religions, but I'll usually find an accommodation
(given plenty of advance notice) for such things. Behavioral things
like which foods can touch are their own problem and I don't have to
do anything about them one way or the other. If someone wants to
deconstruct the way I present a plate of food, that doesn't bother me,
but I'm not going to ensure that the meat doesn't touch the vegetable
just for somebody's personal childhood history.

Generally speaking, I'm feeding or entertaining folks in the hope they
enjoy themselves so I'm willing to meet their (self-perceived) needs
at least halfway.

What I won't do is enforce one person's bias/fear/ideology/foolishness
on other people. If I'm putting on, say, a Chinese multi-course
feast, and one of the guests doesn't eat pork, I'll have plenty for
that person to eat but I will probably have pork dishes for the other
guests. Likewise, one vegetarian diner does not mandate that all eat
vegetarian. But if beets are on the menu, they are on the menu even
if Barb is coming. She'll like the rest of it. -aem

In article >,
"Giusi" > wrote:

> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>
> > Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> > <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> > fussy.
>
> > I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> > son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> > eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
> > grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> > a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
> > ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> > jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
> > "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
> to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of them.
> Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen,

D'ya think? <grin>

> but I swear if I am doing the work, I'm making the decisions.

I'm inclined to agree.

> it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is disgusting, her
> effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef may be acquainted
> with spice and onion.

Having been with and eaten with Kimberly several times, I don't remember
any fussiness about food on the plate. I have a feeling that if she
were at my table and the foods commingled a bit, she would not comment
about it but would eat it because she was a well-mannered guest in my
home. She would, I believe, not be inclined to draw attention to
something that caused discomfort to her and her alone. My SIL is
another story, not for posting, but I liketa smack 'im. :-0)

> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

I think that's pretty strong. Too strong. While they might need
therapy, I don't think being a general control freak enters in. My SIL
is pretty easy about darned near everything. Kimberly seems to be so,
also.
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
"What you say about someone else says more
about you than it does about the other person."

Melba's Jammin' wrote:

>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and
> a
> picky eater?

No.

> How would you describe the differences?

N/A.

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy
"Sorry Dear, dinner is late, had to reboot the stove." -mrr

Mr. Bill wrote:

>
> Being "late" is another passive way to keep control of situations. My
> mother was late for everything...."we can't go until I am ready".....

Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
(wherever) in my house...
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> "Giusi" > wrote:
>
>
>> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.
>
> I think that's pretty strong. Too strong. While they might need
> therapy, I don't think being a general control freak enters in. My SIL
> is pretty easy about darned near everything. Kimberly seems to be so,
> also.

Both of my brother's sons were very picky eaters when they were little.
(Not so much now, but maybe enough to fit anyone's notion of "picky".)

They aren't control freaks, but my sister-in-law sure is. My DH and I
decided the reason the boys were so picky were because about the only
element in their lives they were allowed to choose was what they wouldn't
eat.

I'm not a picky eater at all. I'm not fond of cucumber and radishes, but
I'll eat them if they are served to me. I don't eat mollusks -- clams,
oysters, scallops, mussels -- because I developed an intolerance for them
when I was in my twenties. They taste fine going down, not so much coming
back up, if you catch my drift.

I try to feel sorry for people who are real picky eaters -- it must be a
miserable way to go through life. From time to time when someone tells me
they're a picky eater I reply, "How awful for you!" Based on the funny
looks I've gotten sometimes I have the impression that the picky eater
thinks being picky makes him superior in some way to those of us who are
cosmopolitan enough to eat a wide variety of foods.

I confess that I find being a picky eater a juvenile trait. This opinion is
bolstered by two incidents.

The first was a dinner party I once held, a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing
where I called people in the morning and said, "Come to dinner tonight."
This time (unusually for me) when guests asked if they could bring
something, I let them do so. A friend offered to bring a salad.

She brought a delicious spinach salad. I ended up serving the salad as a
first course, without thinking that my DH's brother and his wife did not eat
spinach.

Well, to be polite, they each took a small helping of salad. Then they each
took a large second helping. They were shocked to discover they actually
like raw spinach. Turns out they'd never had it before -- they could "tell
by looking at it they wouldn't like it."

Lawsamaisy -- you can tell by looking at something you wouldn't like it? Do
you never eat lobster because it looks like a large insect?

The other incident concerns the woman who brought the spinach salad. My
DH's company had some people from Australia visiting and I invited them and
a few friends to dinner. I planned a menu of American foods and included
pecan pie for dessert. I needed to make two pies to have enough and
although I would vastly have preferred to make two pecan pies, the spinach
salad friend had told me many times that she doesn't like nuts. I ended up
making an apple pie instead.

Imagine then my astonishment in seeing my friend larruping her way through
an extra large piece of pecan pie. "I made the apple pie specifically for
you," I sputtered, "since you don't eat nuts."

"Oh," she replied easily, "I eat pecan pie. I guess I'm not very
consistent."

One of our Australian guests didn't get any pecan pie.

Ever since then I haven't refrained from making a dish with nuts in it when
she was a guest. She never said anything, but if she had I would have told
her to pretend it was pecan pie.

Anny

Melba's Jammin' > wrote:

> "I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
> it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
> pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I

I'm in the same boat. There are some things I don't like, some more
than others, but not all that many in my opinion, yet my wife insists
that I'm picky. I'll eat stuff that I don't like, but if given a choice
I'm not going to ask for brussel sprouts, for example.

> like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I do
> have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for example.
> Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper should
> ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or stews, and for
> the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in with the taters
> and gravy! Abomination. I try, whenever possible, to make sure none of

When I was young I was a lot worse about this sort of thing. I wanted
to taste the individual things I was eating, and still do to some extent,
but I'm not nearly as fussy about it as I used to be. Now the corn
thing I sort of understand. I grew up on chicken/corn soup. Corn
by itself should really be by itself and not mixed in with the mashed
potatoes or whatever, but I have no problem with it as an ingredient
in other things. Creamed corn, well bleah, never have liked it.

> separate plate. And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No
> apples with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple
> on my ham, and not on my pizza either. The sole exception to this would
> be bbq sauce, because I like the tomato-brown sugar type. Ok, so maybe
> I am picky."

I know! My wife thinrks pork with apples is great, and mint jelly on lamb.
Whoever thought that was a good idea!? Oh yeah, she likes apples with
sharp cheddar, also! So, maybe I'm picky too, because I don't really
like any of those combinations.

> Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? Fussy
> or Picky?

I would say the fussy eater is the one who doesn't like stuff to
touch on their plate. The picky eater doesn't like specific foods.
So you are more fussy than me, from your description, but probably
about as picky, just not about the exact same things. I do have to
agree with you on beets . . . ;-)

Bill Ranck
Blacksburg, Va.

> I would say the fussy eater is the one who doesn't like stuff to
> touch on their plate. *The picky eater doesn't like specific foods.
> So you are more fussy than me, from your description, but probably
> about as picky, just not about the exact same things. >
> Bill Ranck
> Blacksburg, Va.

Good, we agree on terminology. I really think there is a distinction
to be made, regardless if it's a negative thing or not.

N.

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:19:26 -0500 in rec.food.cooking, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote,
> My SIL is
>another story, not for posting, but I liketa smack 'im. :-0)

"But I don't like getting smacked."

"There now, that's just because you haven't had it done right. Try it
my way! I'm sure you'll like a good smack when you find out how mine
are!"

"Nancy Young" > wrote in message
...
> Nancy2 wrote:
>>> *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
>>> go there. Heh.
>
>> But maple syrup and bacon just GO TOGETHER! LOL.
>
> Don't make me come over there!! (laugh) I'll hurt you!
>
> nancy



I'm with you on this one. Don't give me "maple cured" bacon, either. Maple
belongs on pancakes or waffles, not on bacon.

Jill

"Nexis" wrote
> "Nancy Young" wrote

>> To me, if you find everyone around you is all the time having to
>> change what's on the menu because you don't like it, you're picky.
>> It's annoying after a while, and who decided you're the last word
>> on what's for dinner.
>
> That's about the way I think also. As I said in my reply to Barb's post, I
> have never, and would never, ask my host/hostess to change their menu to
> suit my tastes.

Pretty much agree here. But in my case, I'm an odd cook who's as apt to ask
you too look over which of the live crabs you'd like and serve ya baby whole
octopus on rice. When folks get 'picky' here, it's probably over the items
served (grin).

Don't worry, I reserve the odder items for folks I know will enjoy
adventure. I also have a pretty standard second dish and lots of sides.

> Thank you! Really, I don't see why anyone would care. It's not as if I am
> not eating the food, I simply like it to be separate tastes, flavors,

Many things are better that separate way! I do *not* like it when others
fix my plate for me. I may not have a choice at a restraunt, but I much
prefer to do my own. When I have guests, we just pass the bowls about and
put on your plate what you want. No harm and no foul for skipping some
items!

(I'm often cooking some parts as special meals for those with medical needs
and we all know they get the lions share of those).

>> not that big a deal* if it happens. But I get that one
>> would rather the gravy not leach over into the green beans.
>
> So glad someone does! LOL

She's not alone. I finally got it through my husband's head this past
Thanksgiving to NOT gravy my dish for me. He got my biscuit all soggy ;-(

Then again, he may forget by next year. *sigh*

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy. In my mind there is, but I am having a difficult time
> articulating it. Here is what Kimberly said:
>
> "I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
> it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
> pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I
> like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I do
> have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for example.
> Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper should
> ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or stews, and for
> the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in with the taters
> and gravy! Abomination. I try, whenever possible, to make sure none of
> my foods touch, unless of course they were meant to be touchy feely
> with each other. For example, green beans (or any vegetable really)
> should never touch the gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and
> dressing. All those things get eaten as one. On the other hand, if I
> have a baked potato, it doesn't get to touch anything, since it's on a
> separate plate. And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No
> apples with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple
> on my ham, and not on my pizza either. The sole exception to this would
> be bbq sauce, because I like the tomato-brown sugar type. Ok, so maybe
> I am picky."
>
> Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? Fussy
> or Picky?
>
> What about, ". . .and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the
> corn in with the taters and gravy!" Fussy or Picky?
>
> Or, ". . . green beans (or any vegetable really) should never touch the
> gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and dressing." Fussy or
> Picky?
>
> What about, "And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No apples
> with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple on my
> ham, and not on my pizza either." Fussy or Picky?
>
> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me
> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?


Absolutely no difference. They are both a complete royal pain in the ass
and I simply will not entertain their childish behavior. The last straw was
just one of those you described who ruined my Christmas Eve dinner in 07.
By the time she left I was about ready to throw her out on her ear. The
bitch even drove herself to the market to get fixings for her own hors
d'ouevres because I didn't make any she wanted to eat.

Nuts to them all. They will ruin any gathering and make you wish you had
never bothered. So whatever differences in motivation are irrelevant as
they are all a pain in the butt.

Paul

"Giusi" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>
>> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
>> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>> fussy.
>
>> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
>> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
>> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
>> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
>> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were
> able to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of
> them. Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am
> doing the work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what
> kindergarten hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I want
> them to take it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is
> disgusting, her effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef
> may be acquainted with spice and onion.
>>
>> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>>
>> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
>> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>
> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

Totally agree. And a great deal of that is for the attention they receive.
They not only thrive on even negative attention but they love it that they
can twist you into doing something like preparing a special dish just for
them. Which they often won't even eat they just wanted the special
attention. And if you want a complete disaster have a vegan as a dinner
guest. I swear to god if ever I find one of those OCD whack jobs in my home
again I will drive them out any means including force feeding them raw
steak.

Paul

"Nexis" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Giusi" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>>
>>> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
>>> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>>> fussy.
>>
>>> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>>> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>>> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
>>> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
>>> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
>>> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
>>> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>>> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>>
>> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were
>> able to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of
>> them. Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am
>> doing the work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what
>> kindergarten hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I
>> want them to take it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I
>> think is disgusting, her effing corn could touch the potatoes and his
>> ground beef may be acquainted with spice and onion.
>>>
>>> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>>> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>>> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>>> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>>>
>>> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
>>> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>>
>> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.
>
>
> Sorry, but it sounds as if you have far more control issues than I ever
> would. I don't need therapy because I don't like to mix my corn with my
> potatoes. The fact that you would insist that I need to eat it that way
> says to me that YOU are the one with the need to control others.


Uh no, I believe she did not say you have to eat it her way. She said she
doesn't give a damn if you don't like it that way or not. Just shut up, eat
and appreciate the work that somebody put in for you. Like it will kill you
to eat a little corn and potatoes that commingled? Once a year maybe? Not
like they aren't all headed for the same place anyway.

Nobody deserves that kind of attention unless perhaps they have a medical
issue such as an allergy or a disorder like ciliac disease. The rest can
grow up and act like adults. Anything less is just disrespect for the host.

Having to have it your way is a disorder and therapy may help. Wanting it
your way is a whole diffeent thing altogether.

Paul

"Nexis" wrote

> I would never presume to demand or even ask that a host or hostess who is
> feeding me change what they are making to suit my tastes (the exception of
> course being allergies), and if there was something they served that
> wasn't to my liking I certainly wouldn't make a fuss. But I surely would
> never demand someone eat something they don't like just to please me,
> either. To me, THAT is a control freak issue. Why would I have the right
> to demand

Hehe You'd love and be weirded out by my occasional dinner parties then.
It's just a bunch of friends, all who know one another. Some need low-salt,
some are diabetics, some have religious restrictions (One I even have to use
non-wine based vinegars). So I'll have 4-6 people plus us 3. I'll make 2
mains and some substantial sides and enough of something I know each likes
to be sure it all goes around.

Others will bring a side dish and generally know if it's acceptable to the
others or what they added that may be a problem. Like Mary making her
Mac-n-cheese with Ham, she'll leave the ham out if Sadie and Art are the
main other guests (jewish, not overtly observant but they keep off the pork
and obvious seafoods). If it's Raine and John, we avoid all alcohol
(including wine vinegars) in one of the main dishes. If Jeane and Steve, we
need a main dish that is vegetarian (Kidney cancer diet, low protein
required).

We aint even faintly bashful about telling one another what we can't or
won't eat.

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:35:36 +0200, ChattyCathy
> wrote:

>Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
>(wherever) in my house...

Yes.....but when you are the kid and she is the 'MOM', you must
remember that she has the check book and the drivers license. When
you are ten, you don't get to argue the point.

In article >,
"jmcquown" > wrote:

> "Nancy Young" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Nancy2 wrote:
> >>> *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
> >>> go there. Heh.
> >
> >> But maple syrup and bacon just GO TOGETHER! LOL.
> >
> > Don't make me come over there!! (laugh) I'll hurt you!
> >
> > nancy
>
>
>
> I'm with you on this one. Don't give me "maple cured" bacon, either. Maple
> belongs on pancakes or waffles, not on bacon.
>
> Jill

Oh my!

One of my favorite things of all time is eating pancakes with butter and
maple syrup, and letting the accompanying bacon or sausage get some of
the syrup on it. ;-d

'course that's not QUITE the same as the pre-flavored stuff. I don't
care much for that either.
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.

In article >,
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote:

> > I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> > picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>
>
> Absolutely no difference. They are both a complete royal pain in the ass
> and I simply will not entertain their childish behavior. The last straw was
> just one of those you described who ruined my Christmas Eve dinner in 07.
> By the time she left I was about ready to throw her out on her ear. The
> bitch even drove herself to the market to get fixings for her own hors
> d'ouevres because I didn't make any she wanted to eat.
>
> Nuts to them all. They will ruin any gathering and make you wish you had
> never bothered. So whatever differences in motivation are irrelevant as
> they are all a pain in the butt.
>
> Paul

<lol> If I am serving some specific dinner guests, I'll happily discuss
the menu with them (usually via e-mail) prior to their visit, and cook
according to their wishes.

I consider it to be a challenge.

It's why we ended up with grilled shark steak for Christmas dinner
instead of roast ham. :-) They are not "picky" eaters per se', but they
have a specific set of dietary guidelines they prefer to follow, and
fortunately they are similar to mine, just a bit more strict.

They brought some fresh greens from their garden that xxx and I prepped
for steaming while I was getting everything else ready.

I don't mind doing that. I don't often cook "fancy" for myself, but I
love to cook for an appreciative audience and would rather they enjoy
something instead of eating it to be polite. Truly!

And I love it that they went back for "seconds". ;-) I put the extra
food on the table so they could help themselves.
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.

In article >,
"cshenk" > wrote:

> "Nexis" wrote
>
> > I would never presume to demand or even ask that a host or hostess who is
> > feeding me change what they are making to suit my tastes (the exception of
> > course being allergies), and if there was something they served that
> > wasn't to my liking I certainly wouldn't make a fuss. But I surely would
> > never demand someone eat something they don't like just to please me,
> > either. To me, THAT is a control freak issue. Why would I have the right
> > to demand
>
> Hehe You'd love and be weirded out by my occasional dinner parties then.
> It's just a bunch of friends, all who know one another. Some need low-salt,
> some are diabetics, some have religious restrictions (One I even have to use
> non-wine based vinegars). So I'll have 4-6 people plus us 3. I'll make 2
> mains and some substantial sides and enough of something I know each likes
> to be sure it all goes around.
>
> Others will bring a side dish and generally know if it's acceptable to the
> others or what they added that may be a problem. Like Mary making her
> Mac-n-cheese with Ham, she'll leave the ham out if Sadie and Art are the
> main other guests (jewish, not overtly observant but they keep off the pork
> and obvious seafoods). If it's Raine and John, we avoid all alcohol
> (including wine vinegars) in one of the main dishes. If Jeane and Steve, we
> need a main dish that is vegetarian (Kidney cancer diet, low protein
> required).
>
> We aint even faintly bashful about telling one another what we can't or
> won't eat.

How fun! :-)
--
Peace! Om

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.

"cshenk" > wrote in message
...
> "Nexis" wrote
>
>> I would never presume to demand or even ask that a host or hostess who is
>> feeding me change what they are making to suit my tastes (the exception
>> of course being allergies), and if there was something they served that
>> wasn't to my liking I certainly wouldn't make a fuss. But I surely would
>> never demand someone eat something they don't like just to please me,
>> either. To me, THAT is a control freak issue. Why would I have the right
>> to demand
>
> Hehe You'd love and be weirded out by my occasional dinner parties then.
> It's just a bunch of friends, all who know one another. Some need
> low-salt, some are diabetics, some have religious restrictions (One I even
> have to use non-wine based vinegars). So I'll have 4-6 people plus us 3.
> I'll make 2 mains and some substantial sides and enough of something I
> know each likes to be sure it all goes around.
>
> Others will bring a side dish and generally know if it's acceptable to the
> others or what they added that may be a problem. Like Mary making her
> Mac-n-cheese with Ham, she'll leave the ham out if Sadie and Art are the
> main other guests (jewish, not overtly observant but they keep off the
> pork and obvious seafoods). If it's Raine and John, we avoid all alcohol
> (including wine vinegars) in one of the main dishes. If Jeane and Steve,
> we need a main dish that is vegetarian (Kidney cancer diet, low protein
> required).
>
> We aint even faintly bashful about telling one another what we can't or
> won't eat.

Sounds like a great way to do it, for certain. I always ask about health
restrictions. I'm a diabetic, so I know there are things that are going to
adversely affect me and I avoid those, regardless of who's cooking or
serving, and anyone who didn't understand that, well, I'm not likely to be
dining with them! ;-)

My brother's physician put him on a no-fermentation regiment with his health
issues, and that was a little trickier than I had imagined, because at first
glance you don't realize how many foods involve some form of fermentation!
No wine, no vinegar, no yeast products, etc. We managed though!

kimberly
--
http://eating-sandiego.blogspot.org

In article >,
"Nexis" > wrote:

> "Nancy Young" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Melba's Jammin' wrote:
>
> >>
> >> Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? Fussy or
> >> Picky?
> <snip>
> >>
> >> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater
> >> and a picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
> >
> > To me, if you find everyone around you is all the time having to
> > change what's on the menu because you don't like it, you're picky.
> > It's annoying after a while, and who decided you're the last word
> > on what's for dinner.
>
> That's about the way I think also. As I said in my reply to Barb's post, I
> have never, and would never, ask my host/hostess to change their menu to
> suit my tastes.

Oh, Kimberly! Sweet Jesus, I hope you don't think I was picking on
you!! I used your post because of the examples you included and I was
thinking about my SIL * him I'd call picky. And I know I said, "I am
inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater" but I don't even think that's
the right word. Quirky, maybe, but I KNOW you would never make a fuss
at my table if something were not 100% to your liking. Please tell me I
didn't offend you; I am distraught at the thought that I may have. I
am just curious about how people see the two different words. I suppose
I should've looked in a dictionary and kept my fingers to myself. . . .
:-0) One member of my family puts one thing on the plates, eats it,
puts another part of the meal on the plate, eats it, etc. No mingling
on that plate! To me that's just quirky. Not even fussy and I'd never
describe it as picky.

Keerist, can I dig this hole any deeper?


> Thank you! Really, I don't see why anyone would care. It's not as if I am
> not eating the food, I simply like it to be separate tastes, flavors,
> textures. I'm not talking about taking apart a stew, I'm talking about foods
> that are already being served separately. If you're serving roast and gravy
> and green beans on the side, for the life of me I can't understand why you
> (generally speaking, not you specifically) would even care if I prefered to
> keep my green beans out of my gravy!

Generally speaking, I don't disagree, but, gosh, if you've never had
green beans in gravy. . . . <JOKE>

>
> So glad someone does! LOL
> >
> > *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
> > go there. Heh.
>
> My daughter likes to dip her bacon in the whip cream when we have strawberry
> waffles,

I say this because of your Minnesota roots: That's different. (The
sweet and salt sounds kind of good.)

> and she also dips her french fries in chocolate shakes when we go
> to In & Out. Strange kid. ;-)

GREAT kid! (Barb waves to girl who can't be more than six or seven. .
.. . .)



--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
"What you say about someone else says more
about you than it does about the other person."

In article >,
"Paul M. Cook" > wrote:

> Uh no, I believe she did not say you have to eat it her way. She said she
> doesn't give a damn if you don't like it that way or not. Just shut up, eat
> and appreciate the work that somebody put in for you. Like it will kill you
> to eat a little corn and potatoes that commingled? Once a year maybe? Not
> like they aren't all headed for the same place anyway.

I think Kimberly's remarks were misunderstood. I feel I know her
sufficiently well and have spent enough time at meals with her to know
that she would never make a fuss as a guest. She's one of the kindest
and most generous, not to mention loads of fun, people it has been my
pleasure to meet.

Oy!

--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
"What you say about someone else says more
about you than it does about the other person."

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 10:01:06 -0500, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote:

>Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
><G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>fussy. In my mind there is, but I am having a difficult time
>articulating it. Here is what Kimberly said:
>
>"I was about to write, "I consider myself a picky eater"...but really,
>it's everyone around me that considers me a picky eater. I've tried
>pointing out to them that I am actually not picky, I just like what I
>like and don't like what I don't. They didn't buy it. I admit that I do
>have a touch of OCD when it comes to certain foods. Corn, for example.
>Whether on the cob or off, nothing but butter, salt & pepper should
>ever touch my corn. No creamed corn, no corn is soups or stews, and for
>the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the corn in with the taters
>and gravy! Abomination. I try, whenever possible, to make sure none of
>my foods touch, unless of course they were meant to be touchy feely
>with each other. For example, green beans (or any vegetable really)
>should never touch the gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and
>dressing. All those things get eaten as one. On the other hand, if I
>have a baked potato, it doesn't get to touch anything, since it's on a
>separate plate. And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No
>apples with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple
>on my ham, and not on my pizza either. The sole exception to this would
>be bbq sauce, because I like the tomato-brown sugar type. Ok, so maybe
>I am picky."
>
>Where does "like what I like and don't like what I don't." fall? Fussy
>or Picky?
>
>What about, ". . .and for the love of all things Holy, do *not* mix the
>corn in with the taters and gravy!" Fussy or Picky?
>
>Or, ". . . green beans (or any vegetable really) should never touch the
>gravy, but potatoes can touch meat and gravy and dressing." Fussy or
>Picky?
>
>What about, "And no sweet stuff on my savory stuff, please. No apples
>with the pork, and definitely not in my dressing. No pineapple on my
>ham, and not on my pizza either." Fussy or Picky?
>
>I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me
>grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
>a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
>ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
>jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>"Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
>Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
>I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
>picky eater? How would you describe the differences?


I am so thankful. My SIL is coming next week for a visit. I asked
her if there was anything she couldn't eat or didn't like. Her
response was "Never seen anything I don't like to eat." We shall have
fun.

--
Susan N.

"Moral indignation is in most cases two percent moral,
48 percent indignation, and 50 percent envy."
Vittorio De Sica, Italian movie director (1901-1974)

Anny Middon wrote:


> I ended up serving the salad as a
> first course, without thinking that my DH's brother and his wife did not eat
> spinach.
>
> Well, to be polite, they each took a small helping of salad. Then they each
> took a large second helping. They were shocked to discover they actually
> like raw spinach. Turns out they'd never had it before -- they could "tell
> by looking at it they wouldn't like it."
>
> Lawsamaisy -- you can tell by looking at something you wouldn't like it? Do
> you never eat lobster because it looks like a large insect?


I had a younger cousin who lived on peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches with an
occasional slab of his mother's exceptional chocolate cake
from about age 8 till
he was married.

Whenever he was encouraged to try something else, he'd say
"I can't. My eyes
don't like it."

I haven't seen him in 40+ years so I have no idea what his
current food favorites are.

gloria p

"Nexis" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Nexis" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Giusi" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>>>>
>>>>> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's
>>>>> Again
>>>>> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>>>>> fussy.
>>>>
>>>>> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>>>>> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>>>>> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
>>>>> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his
>>>>> peculiarities, a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego
>>>>> out of a jar with ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if
>>>>> the amendment to the
>>>>> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>>>>> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>>>>
>>>> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were
>>>> able to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of
>>>> them. Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am
>>>> doing the work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what
>>>> kindergarten hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I
>>>> want them to take it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I
>>>> think is disgusting, her effing corn could touch the potatoes and his
>>>> ground beef may be acquainted with spice and onion.
>>>>>
>>>>> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>>>>> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>>>>> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>>>>> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>>>>>
>>>>> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and
>>>>> a picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>>>>
>>>> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.
>>>
>>>
>>> Sorry, but it sounds as if you have far more control issues than I ever
>>> would. I don't need therapy because I don't like to mix my corn with my
>>> potatoes. The fact that you would insist that I need to eat it that way
>>> says to me that YOU are the one with the need to control others.
>>
>>
>> Uh no, I believe she did not say you have to eat it her way. She said
>> she doesn't give a damn if you don't like it that way or not. Just shut
>> up, eat and appreciate the work that somebody put in for you. Like it
>> will kill you to eat a little corn and potatoes that commingled? Once a
>> year maybe? Not like they aren't all headed for the same place anyway.
>
> Maybe you should pay better attention before you reply. I said (several
> times now) that I wouldn't ask anyone to change their menu for me, and I
> never said I would refuse to eat my food if my corn and potatoes were
> co-mingled. What I said was I prefer them NOT to be. If that's an issue
> for YOU, then that is YOUR problem. You have your own likes and dislikes,
> what makes you think yours are any more important than anyone elses? Or
> would you have us believe you regularly eat foods you detest for the sake
> of being "polite"? And if you had, as I said, bothered to read what I've
> said, you'd see I was originally referring to my own food in my own house,
> so the person putting the effort into my meal is: ME! So if I failed to
> appreciate me, then it's harming no one but me, so why do you care where I
> like my corn or potatoes or green beans?

Oh I can assure you I have eaten foods just to be polite. Have mercy but
have I done that. I was actually talking about people I have had for
dinner who would ruin everything because while they love fish they will only
eat it broiled and not poached or fried. I assume you've just had much
better luck with your dinner guests.

>>
>> Nobody deserves that kind of attention unless perhaps they have a medical
>> issue such as an allergy or a disorder like ciliac disease. The rest can
>> grow up and act like adults. Anything less is just disrespect for the
>> host.
>
> I didn't ask for any attention. I didn't ask you or anyone else to make
> any changes or adjustments for me, and wouldn't. I simply stated the way I
> like things on MY plate in MY home. Get over it.

Try bowls. Why do eat on plates anyway? The Asian method seems to work so
much better. More and more I serve myself dinner in bowls. Not for the
reason of segregating my food but it would work for that purpose.

>> Having to have it your way is a disorder and therapy may help. Wanting
>> it your way is a whole diffeent thing altogether.
>>
>> Paul
>
> Again, I didn't say I *have* to have anything any way. I merely stated my
> preferences. That is wanting, not needing, learn the difference before you
> ramble on about things you obviously no nothing about.

No offense actually. I do speak in general terms not specific. I see my
post as addressing the subject and not the person because I see more than
just you reading my reply. Unless it is really obvious that the subject is
actually the person I tend to speak in generalities and in the third person.
You, in this case did not mean you specifically though I see how you could
take it that way. A rant casts a wide net. The guilty know of whom I
speak.

If it means anything, I used to hate my eggs getting pancake syrup on them.
Yuck. I'd always demand my eggs on a seperate plate. Woe unto those who
did not comply. Then I got over it and dscovered the ranch style pancake
breakfast in a moment that was shear epiphaney. And I did not need a
therapist. It was just one of those moments.

Paul

"Omelet" wrote,
> "cshenk" wrote:

>> Hehe You'd love and be weirded out by my occasional dinner parties then.
>> It's just a bunch of friends, all who know one another. Some need
>> low-salt,
>> some are diabetics, some have religious restrictions (One I even have to
>> use
>> non-wine based vinegars). So I'll have 4-6 people plus us 3. I'll make
>> 2
>> mains and some substantial sides and enough of something I know each
>> likes
>> to be sure it all goes around.
(snip)

>> We aint even faintly bashful about telling one another what we can't or
>> won't eat.
>
> How fun! :-)

It is! For all that I was in Japan for almost 7 years, we both the house
here back in 1996 so when we came back, it was to people we'd known. A few
new ones, some gone (moved, and 1 died).

I'd say offhand there's 7 regular families and 5-6 'now and again' folks.
We have most of each other in a little email group so somtimes when ya check
email you see, 'damn, I just dont feel like cooking, anyone wanna feed me?'.
Party develops. (Generally non-alcoholic though we may have a bottle of wine
or a 6 pack for those who like to have a little).

When one of the ladies went in for sudden hip surgery, we just rotated her
husband from house to house for a week (guy can't cook but is always fun.
His wife is a great cook). Then we held 3-4 at her house when she got home
(cleaning up after ourselves) so she didnt have to cook. He's real good at
returning your tupperware (grin). Lets see, she's lactose intolerant with
osteoporosis so we feed her up with milk-free high calcium foods. He's got
no special diet needs (but hates okra) and she has no others.

We had both of them over last Friday along with the fellow with kidney
cancer (low protein diet required) and his wife (dieting, no other concerns
except thinks melons are slimy).

For dinner I made:

(Scored! Fresh sashimi grade tuna and convinced the fish fellow, yes, I
want the bones please) Salt fried Aku bones with side of sashimi over sushi
rice (hand sushi) (High calcium, very high)

Sushi rice balls (with no fish) with various slivered vegetables and avocado
(all low protein)

Baked eggplant lightly coated with *good stuff level* olive oil, bread
crumbs, touch of parmesan cheese (left one piece without parm but added
bacos to that piece and black pepper). (low protein main dish but scrape off
the few bacos if taking that piece).

Fresh udon in dashi with spinach and mushrooms (has some protein but not too
much)

Pork loin steaks with spicy seasoning, sliced down to 1 oz or so servings (2
are allowed for our friend with low protein diet), take as many as ya want.

Steamed green beans tossed with a little sesame oil and some of the last of
my shiitake mushrooms.

Steamed carrots with baby bok choy and a side curried mustard sauce for
dipping or pouring. (little dip dishes from Japan to fill if you like it
that way).

Mulled wine (this particular group likes warm red mulled wine) with honey

Green or black tea with honey or sugar (Tea kettle, bags, suit yourself).

Peeled grapefruit, oranges, and bannanas with a drizzle of honey.

Grin, see how easy it is to fit all in? I could have made a melon dish or a
dish with okra too and the ones who didnt like that, would just have
selected something else. Before you think I went broke, naw. They also feed
us often and normally they all bring something. This time, it was someone
elses' store bought pork loin, fruits, wine, and avocados.

The only down side to my place is I dont have enough chairs so some end up
chatting in the livingroom while some are with me (about the table) while we
cook it all up. Once we eat, my japan floor table fits us all. I've got a
pile of cushions and a low 'chair' for my friend with the hip problems that
works for her quite comfortably. We just laugh and lower her into it.

Wink, long but fun post. Every time I see a thread that folks think it's
too hard to do specialty cooking, I just laugh and tell ya my most recent
escapade.

Got email as I was typing this that another snagged the group this weekend
but he's waiting to see how the weather is as he wants a sort of cookout.
He asked me to check the fish market as he's doing pork and we normally have
2 mains at these things. Since i'm headed there tomorrow anyways, will do!

"Nexis" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Giusi" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>>>
>>>> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's
>>>> Again
>>>> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>>>> fussy.
>>>
>>>> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>>>> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>>>> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
>>>> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his
>>>> peculiarities, a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego
>>>> out of a jar with ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if
>>>> the amendment to the
>>>> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>>>> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>>>
>>> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were
>>> able to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of
>>> them. Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am
>>> doing the work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what
>>> kindergarten hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I
>>> want them to take it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I
>>> think is disgusting, her effing corn could touch the potatoes and his
>>> ground beef may be acquainted with spice and onion.
>>>>
>>>> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>>>> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>>>> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>>>> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>>>>
>>>> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and
>>>> a picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>>>
>>> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.
>>
>> Totally agree. And a great deal of that is for the attention they
>> receive. They not only thrive on even negative attention but they love it
>> that they can twist you into doing something like preparing a special
>> dish just for them. Which they often won't even eat they just wanted the
>> special attention. And if you want a complete disaster have a vegan as a
>> dinner guest. I swear to god if ever I find one of those OCD whack jobs
>> in my home again I will drive them out any means including force feeding
>> them raw steak.
>>
>> Paul
>
>
> So who is I'm getting attention from when I fix my plate, exactly? I did
> the cooking, I did the serving, and no one in my house cares if I use a
> separate dish for my vegetables or if I don't put corn in my vegetable
> soup.
>

Sorry, I guess I missed that. But then I've always been the shoot first ask
questions later kind of guy. And I didn't read any of Jill's thread,
either.

> Eaters like Jill's recent visitor are an entirely different breed. If you
> are referring to people like her, perhaps you are correct in the attention
> thing. But since Barb specifically mentioned me, I will tell you quite
> honestly that I am nothing like Jill's visitor, and I do not and would not
> demand anything of my host/hostess and would only ask they understand when
> I am unable to partake of a certain dish (because I am diabetic and
> currently having kidney problems). Don't presume every "picky" eater is
> the same.

I would gladly cook anything special for you knowing your dietary needs.
Happily, and even if I did not exactly relish the dish I would eat it with
you just the same. But I suppose I expect a lot from adults, especially
when it comes to food. For some reason my life is cursed with friends and
acquaintances that make a huge stink about what they eat and the venue is
irrelevant. More than once I have endured fits in restaurants because a
particular dish was not the way mommy made it. And they've done it in my
home as well.

It's a major pet peeve of mine. I still am bitter over the events of my 07
Christmas dinner. I simply will never socialize with that kind ever again.
Social graces and good manners are underrated these days and lord knows the
kids aren't taught any better. Heaven help us all.

Paul

"Nexis" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Omelet" > wrote in message
> news
>> In article >,
>> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote:
>>
>>> > I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and
>>> > a
>>> > picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>>>
>>>
>>> Absolutely no difference. They are both a complete royal pain in the
>>> ass
>>> and I simply will not entertain their childish behavior. The last straw
>>> was
>>> just one of those you described who ruined my Christmas Eve dinner in
>>> 07.
>>> By the time she left I was about ready to throw her out on her ear. The
>>> bitch even drove herself to the market to get fixings for her own hors
>>> d'ouevres because I didn't make any she wanted to eat.
>>>
>>> Nuts to them all. They will ruin any gathering and make you wish you
>>> had
>>> never bothered. So whatever differences in motivation are irrelevant as
>>> they are all a pain in the butt.
>>>
>>> Paul
>>
>> <lol> If I am serving some specific dinner guests, I'll happily discuss
>> the menu with them (usually via e-mail) prior to their visit, and cook
>> according to their wishes.
>>
>> I consider it to be a challenge.
>>
>> It's why we ended up with grilled shark steak for Christmas dinner
>> instead of roast ham. :-) They are not "picky" eaters per se', but they
>> have a specific set of dietary guidelines they prefer to follow, and
>> fortunately they are similar to mine, just a bit more strict.
>>
>> They brought some fresh greens from their garden that xxx and I prepped
>> for steaming while I was getting everything else ready.
>>
>> I don't mind doing that. I don't often cook "fancy" for myself, but I
>> love to cook for an appreciative audience and would rather they enjoy
>> something instead of eating it to be polite. Truly!
>>
>> And I love it that they went back for "seconds". ;-) I put the extra
>> food on the table so they could help themselves.
>> --
>> Peace! Om
>
>
> Oh finally, some sense speaks out! hehe!
> I seriously don't understand that mentality of "You Will Eat It And You
> Will LIKE It"...what nonsense. Why would you prefer to force food on
> someone that wouldn't enjoy it rather than prepare a meal you would all
> enjoy? Makes no sense to me. Ah well. Can't please 'em all!
>

No you can't. Any good host tries. But that just means that there is no
excuse for the guests to be disrespectful. Nobody died because they ate
food they don't normally eat. OK, we are not talking about like when I was
served jellied fish eggs. That was so nasty I gagged. But being served a
dish which you can get down and still smile is not the same thing. Nobody
ever died because they didn't get what they wanted all the time.

> So now, about this shark dinner...what did you do with the shark?
> Marinade? Sauce? My sister in law is now vegetarian, but back in the day
> she made an awesome grilled shark steak with a citrus sauce.

You let them swim in the ocean because they are being driven to extinction.
500 million years they've been around and we're wiping them out - mostly for
soup. I wish people would just not eat them and know how dire their future
really is.

Swordfish and mahi mahi are still reasonable alternatives.

Paul

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
>
<snip>

> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?

To me, there is no difference between fussy or picky. However, when I was
glancing over the topics today I almost skipped this thread because it read
to me as "Pussy Eater". LOL I even missed Easter rather than Eater in my
misreading of it.

On Wed, 8 Apr 2009 11:26:13 -0400, "Nancy Young"
> wrote:

>*It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
>go there. Heh.

I don't mind it on my bacon as much as I do on my eggs. UGH.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

jmcquown wrote:
> "Nancy Young" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Nancy2 wrote:
>>>> *It is a big deal if you get maple syrup on my bacon. Don't
>>>> go there. Heh.
>>
>>> But maple syrup and bacon just GO TOGETHER! LOL.
>>
>> Don't make me come over there!! (laugh) I'll hurt you!
>>
>> nancy
>
>
>
> I'm with you on this one. Don't give me "maple cured" bacon, either.
> Maple belongs on pancakes or waffles, not on bacon.
>
> Jill


Maple bacon or sausage are deeeee-licious.

gloria p