We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.

The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
about them - just in case.

At first I thought, 'bit of a cheek' but when I thought about it some more
I realized that might not be such a bad idea; I've been to some weddings
where they have an arrangement like this. It saves the couple getting 10
butter dishes and 15 potato peelers (or whatever).

That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
items on the wish list can be purchased.

Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.

OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
supply it to the guests; <grin>

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

ChattyCathy > wrote in news:MHv4k.114052$TL1.92331
@newsfe21.ams2:

> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
> invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>
> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
> supply it to the guests; <grin>
>

So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be purchased.

--

The house of the burning beet-Alan

On Jun 13, 9:43*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.

They have houses in Africa? I thought they just had grass and dung
huts <shrug>.

-sw

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:12:23 +0000, hahabogus wrote:

> ChattyCathy > wrote in
> news:MHv4k.114052$TL1.92331 @newsfe21.ams2:
>
>> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
>> invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>>
>> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
>> supply it to the guests; <grin>
>>
>>
> So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be purchased.

Now that's a plan. How does this sound?

"I'd like 4lbs of shrimp, a few lobsters and some truffels - you can buy
them at XYZ store(s), or I'm not attending."

BTW, DH says that this is what he calls 'shopping with other people's
money' ;-)

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

hahabogus wrote:
> ChattyCathy > wrote in news:MHv4k.114052$TL1.92331
> @newsfe21.ams2:
>
>
>>Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
>>invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>>
>>OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
>>supply it to the guests; <grin>
>>
>
> So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be purchased.

Oooh! I love that idea. Just what they deserve.
And make sure you include the most expensive foods
you can think of! ;-)

Kate


--
Kate Connally
“If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.”
Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back,
Until you bite their heads off.”
What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about?

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:14:16 +0000, Michael "Dog3" wrote:

> ChattyCathy >
> : in rec.food.cooking
>
>> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a
>> combined birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of
>> the month.
>>
>> The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts'
>> - but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the
>> details about them - just in case.
>
> Right off I think the invite is tacky. A combined birthday/house warming
> invitation implies, to me anyway, that if the invitation is accepted by
> me, a gift should be taken. If they don't like my gift, they are free to
> return it themselves.
>
This is true.
>>
>> At first I thought, 'bit of a cheek' but when I thought about it some
>> more I realized that might not be such a bad idea; I've been to some
>> weddings where they have an arrangement like this. It saves the couple
>> getting 10 butter dishes and 15 potato peelers (or whatever).
>
> I still think it's tacky. It's not a wedding.

This is also true.
>
>
>>
>> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to
>> the invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television,
>> a new double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this
>> might be a joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store
>> where one of the items on the wish list can be purchased.
>>
>> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting
>> the invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>
> ROFL... My Gawd... Do they *think* a housearming gift should be of the
> same type as a wedding gift? "Chutzpah" indeed. Who ARE these people?
>

Just somebody DH knows from work. We've never socialized with them
before. Which is what made me think it was a bit of cheek in the first
place...
>
>> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
>> supply it to the guests; <grin>
>
> LOL... Well, you could have accepted the invitation and then taken a
> combination birthday/housewarming cake Doubt you'd get another invite
> from the greedy ones.

Quite so <grin>
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:18:02 -0700, sqwertzme wrote:

> On Jun 13, 9:43*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
>> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
>> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
> They have houses in Africa? I thought they just had grass and dung
> huts <shrug>.
>
> -sw

You forgot about the lions roaming around in the streets.
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

On Fri 13 Jun 2008 07:43:47a, ChattyCathy told us...

> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a
combined
> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
> The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the
details
> about them - just in case.
>
> At first I thought, 'bit of a cheek' but when I thought about it some
more
> I realized that might not be such a bad idea; I've been to some weddings
> where they have an arrangement like this. It saves the couple getting 10
> butter dishes and 15 potato peelers (or whatever).
>
> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
> items on the wish list can be purchased.
>
> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
> invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>
> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
> supply it to the guests; <grin>
>

I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need to
bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the rise.
Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Friday, 06(VI)/13(XIII)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
It isn't the fall that kills the
child, it is the splattering of the
brain against the inside of the skull.
-------------------------------------------

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>
>
> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need to
> bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the rise.
> Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!

What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized with
them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from anybody
they know (however vaguely).

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

ChattyCathy wrote:
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need to
>> bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the rise.
>> Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!
>
> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized with
> them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from anybody
> they know (however vaguely).
>
Don't you wish there was some way they could stumble onto this thread
and see how obvious their ploy was? As well as being in such poor taste?
I imagine people who attempt this sort of thing are clueless, yet in
dire need of a wake up call. For their own social good.

"ChattyCathy" > wrote in message
...
> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
> The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
> about them - just in case.
>
> At first I thought, 'bit of a cheek' but when I thought about it some more
> I realized that might not be such a bad idea; I've been to some weddings
> where they have an arrangement like this. It saves the couple getting 10
> butter dishes and 15 potato peelers (or whatever).
>
> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
> items on the wish list can be purchased.
>
> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
> invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.


I think it's tongue in cheek - do they have a sense of humor?

It sounds like they were laughing when walking through the store with the
scanner.


--
Old Scoundrel

(AKA Dimitri)

Tongue-in-cheek is a term used to refer to humor in which a statement, or an
entire fictional work, is not meant to be taken seriously, but its lack of
seriousness is subtle. The Oxford English Dictionary defines it as "Ironic,
slyly humorous; not meant to be taken seriously".

"ChattyCathy" > ha scritto nel messaggio
...
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:18:02 -0700, sqwertzme wrote:
>
>> On Jun 13, 9:43 am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
>>> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a
>>> combined
>>> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>>
>> They have houses in Africa? I thought they just had grass and dung
>> huts <shrug>.
>>
>> -sw
>
> You forgot about the lions roaming around in the streets.
> --
> Cheers
> Chatty Cathy

Wonderful! Bone (and unwelcome guest) disposal as simple as throwing them
into the street.

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:52:48 -0400, Goomba wrote:

> ChattyCathy wrote:
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need to
>>> bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the rise.
>>> Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!
>>
>> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized with
>> them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from anybody
>> they know (however vaguely).
>>
> Don't you wish there was some way they could stumble onto this thread
> and see how obvious their ploy was? As well as being in such poor taste?
> I imagine people who attempt this sort of thing are clueless, yet in
> dire need of a wake up call. For their own social good.

I would like to be a 'fly on the wall' if they did...

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:54:56 -0700, Dimitri wrote:


>
> I think it's tongue in cheek - do they have a sense of humor?

No clue. Never socialized with them before. This came 'out of the blue'.
And if it was that 'tongue in cheek' why name the stores and give
reference numbers to quote when purchasing their gifts?
>
> It sounds like they were laughing when walking through the store with
> the scanner.

In view of the above, I sincerely doubt it.

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:56:41 +0200, Giusi wrote:

> "ChattyCathy" > ha scritto nel messaggio
> ...
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:18:02 -0700, sqwertzme wrote:
>>
>>> On Jun 13, 9:43 am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
>>>> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a
>>>> combined
>>>> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>>>
>>> They have houses in Africa? I thought they just had grass and dung
>>> huts <shrug>.
>>>
>>> -sw
>>
>> You forgot about the lions roaming around in the streets.

>
> Wonderful! Bone (and unwelcome guest) disposal as simple as throwing them
> into the street.

Quite so. That's what is known as around here as 'automatic garbage
disposal'. What the lions don't get, the hyenas enjoy. And anything
the hyenas miss is devoured by ants. The food chain at it's best.
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

ChattyCathy wrote:
> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
>


I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
> items on the wish list can be purchased.
>



What, no round-the-world cruise to contribute to?

Yikes, the nerve of some people!

gloria p

On Fri 13 Jun 2008 08:49:47a, ChattyCathy told us...

> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>>
>>
>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need
>> to bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the
>> rise. Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!
>
> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized with
> them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from anybody
> they know (however vaguely).
>

I think that's absolutely true. I can't get over the nerve that people
have today.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Friday, 06(VI)/13(XIII)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Who will protect the public when the
police violate the law? --Ramsey Clark
-------------------------------------------

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:21:57 +0000, Michael "Dog3" wrote:

> ChattyCathy > news:Vew4k.114054$TL1.92055
> @newsfe21.ams2: in rec.food.cooking
>
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:12:23 +0000, hahabogus wrote:
>>> So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be purchased.
>>
>> Now that's a plan. How does this sound?
>>
>> "I'd like 4lbs of shrimp, a few lobsters and some truffels - you can buy
>> them at XYZ store(s), or I'm not attending."
>>
>> BTW, DH says that this is what he calls 'shopping with other people's
>> money' ;-)
>
> ROFL... I like your husband.

Hands off! I saw him first ;-)
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

On Fri 13 Jun 2008 08:52:48a, Goomba told us...

> ChattyCathy wrote:
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the
>>> need to bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on
>>> the rise. Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!
>>
>> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized
>> with them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from
>> anybody they know (however vaguely).
>>
> Don't you wish there was some way they could stumble onto this thread
> and see how obvious their ploy was? As well as being in such poor taste?
> I imagine people who attempt this sort of thing are clueless, yet in
> dire need of a wake up call. For their own social good.

You could always capture the thread and e-mail it to them. <veg>

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Friday, 06(VI)/13(XIII)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Who will protect the public when the
police violate the law? --Ramsey Clark
-------------------------------------------

ChattyCathy wrote:
> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
> The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
> about them - just in case.
>
> At first I thought, 'bit of a cheek' but when I thought about it some more
> I realized that might not be such a bad idea;

It's a *terrible* idea.

> I've been to some weddings
> where they have an arrangement like this. It saves the couple getting 10
> butter dishes and 15 potato peelers (or whatever).

Yeah, that would be a tragedy.

> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
> items on the wish list can be purchased.
>
> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
> invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.

Yeah, I don't accept invitations to parties where I'm told what to
bring, or where I have to pay to get in, or where it's clearly more of a
fundraiser than a celebration.

>
> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
> supply it to the guests; <grin>

I would worry about being charged at the door.

Any more, I don't accept invites to parties at restaurants, either,
because it seems people just assume everyone pays for their own dinner,
and really, if I'm going to pay to eat out, I'd rather do it with my family.

Serene

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:27:25 -0400, Kate Connally wrote:

> hahabogus wrote:
>> ChattyCathy > wrote in news:MHv4k.114052$TL1.92331
>> @newsfe21.ams2:
>>
>>
>>>Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be accepting the
>>>invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>>>
>>>OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming they'll
>>>supply it to the guests; <grin>
>>>
>>
>> So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be purchased.
>
> Oooh! I love that idea. Just what they deserve.
> And make sure you include the most expensive foods
> you can think of! ;-)

See my reply to Alan. Except I think I'll tell them I'm accepting on
behalf of my extended family - which consists of 27 people. <veg>
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

"ChattyCathy" wrote

> The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
> about them - just in case.

Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree in
Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.

> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
> items on the wish list can be purchased.

Again, sorta depends on the background of the folks. With the larger items,
it's close family who get them or what you do is dontate a portion of the
cost towards an item. Say they pick out some nice china? You go and see
it's 300$. They arent expecting you to pay 300$, just perhaps put down 10$
or so with the store towards the purchase. If 15 folks put down 10$ each,
they can then get their china for just 150$. Mom and Dad might put down
500$ towards that new fridge but not the casual guest.

If you did want to go and have a friend like you who's also confused, a 40$
gift certificate at a reasonably decent store like JC Penny makes a good
housewarmer gift. You each pay half and from it they can pickup that stray
small appliance that they still need.

Serene Vannoy wrote:

> Yeah, I don't accept invitations to parties where I'm told what to
> bring, or where I have to pay to get in, or where it's clearly more of a
> fundraiser than a celebration.

I like the way you put that. "Fundraiser" is exactly how they're running
this "party"

> Any more, I don't accept invites to parties at restaurants, either,
> because it seems people just assume everyone pays for their own dinner,
> and really, if I'm going to pay to eat out, I'd rather do it with my
> family.
>
> Serene

Oh....now this just seems sad to me. I have tons of fun socializing with
folks who aren't in my family. Sometimes more! LOL

Goomba wrote:

> Oh....now this just seems sad to me. I have tons of fun socializing with
> folks who aren't in my family. Sometimes more! LOL

Well, sure, if I know what I'm paying for, but a party is supposed to be
paid for by the person throwing the party. If I can't afford to buy
everyone's dinner, I don't hold a party in a restaurant -- I have it at
my home, and I serve food I can afford to serve.

Serene

Oh I forgot to add, I took this to be more of a newlywed situation, reading
the rest though am not so sure.

If they were recently married and just setting up still, it would be a gift
card and a small jar of some fancy preserves or something reasonaably nice
for that new wine rack they may have.

Last wedding/housewarming I did in Hawaii, we priced a nice little wine
rack, got a bottle of wine and a gift certificate equal to the simple wine
rack (JC Penny, they could get something else easily). These were for the
daughter of a good friend. We also bartended the reception for them and had
the money tree on the corner of the bar (in lieu of a tip jar, money tree
for the couple).



"cshenk" > wrote in message
...
> "ChattyCathy" wrote
>
> > The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
>> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the
>> details
>> about them - just in case.
>
> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree
> in Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.
>
>> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to the
>> invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television, a new
>> double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this might be a
>> joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store where one of the
>> items on the wish list can be purchased.
>
> Again, sorta depends on the background of the folks. With the larger
> items, it's close family who get them or what you do is dontate a portion
> of the cost towards an item. Say they pick out some nice china? You go
> and see it's 300$. They arent expecting you to pay 300$, just perhaps put
> down 10$ or so with the store towards the purchase. If 15 folks put down
> 10$ each, they can then get their china for just 150$. Mom and Dad might
> put down 500$ towards that new fridge but not the casual guest.
>
> If you did want to go and have a friend like you who's also confused, a
> 40$ gift certificate at a reasonably decent store like JC Penny makes a
> good housewarmer gift. You each pay half and from it they can pickup that
> stray small appliance that they still need.
>

cshenk wrote:
> "ChattyCathy" wrote
>
> > The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
>> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
>> about them - just in case.
>
> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree in
> Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.

Thats about as sad and tacky as "Dollar Dances" at weddings. If someone
wants to gift people with money at a celebration, they are welcome to do
it discretely. Slip me an envelope, and lets both get on with the party!

I like the old southern custom we learned about in North Carolina, where
neighbors hold a "pounding" when people move into new homes. Everyone
brings a "pound" of something (tea, coffee, flour, sugar...) to stock
the pantry.

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:02:41 -0400, cshenk wrote:

> "ChattyCathy" wrote
>
> > The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any gifts' -
>> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the details
>> about them - just in case.
>
> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree in
> Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.

They're not newlyweds, as far as I know...
>
>> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to
>> the invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television,
>> a new double door fridge and a home theater system. I thought this
>> might be a joke, but they have actually stated the name of a store
>> where one of the items on the wish list can be purchased.
>
> Again, sorta depends on the background of the folks. With the larger
> items, it's close family who get them or what you do is dontate a
> portion of the cost towards an item.

We're not family, or even close friends. So why send the 'wish list' to
acquaintances unless they were 'on the make'?

> Say they pick out some nice china?
> You go and see it's 300$. They arent expecting you to pay 300$, just
> perhaps put down 10$ or so with the store towards the purchase. If 15
> folks put down 10$ each, they can then get their china for just 150$.
> Mom and Dad might put down 500$ towards that new fridge but not the
> casual guest.

We would qualify as 'we barely know them' guests.

>
> If you did want to go and have a friend like you who's also confused, a
> 40$ gift certificate at a reasonably decent store like JC Penny makes a
> good housewarmer gift. You each pay half and from it they can pickup
> that stray small appliance that they still need.

Point is: if they hadn't mentioned gifts in the invite, I would have
accepted and bought something for them anyway. It's just the
whole "this is what I expect" thing that put me off.

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

In article >,
"Michael \"Dog3\"" > wrote:

> LOL... Well, you could have accepted the invitation and then taken a
> combination birthday/housewarming cake Doubt you'd get another invite
> from the greedy ones.
>
> Michael


I was thinking more along the lines of showing up empty-handed (well,
ok, a birthday card in hand) and hoping to be asked where my gift was,
thus affording the opportunity to say something along the lines of, "You
mean that gift registry information included in the invitation? That's
so tacky I figured it *had* to be a joke. Miss Manners is still
sniffing the smelling salts over it."
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
Huffy and Bubbles Do France: http://www.jamlady.eboard.com

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Fri 13 Jun 2008 08:49:47a, ChattyCathy told us...
>
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the need
>>> to bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be on the
>>> rise. Just another example of greed and self-entitlement. Alas!
>> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized with
>> them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from anybody
>> they know (however vaguely).
>>
>
> I think that's absolutely true. I can't get over the nerve that people
> have today.
>
It's all true. People we barely know had their kids send us graduation
cards from their high school or college. A blatant request for gifts and
some had the gall to suggest money would be most welcome.

None of them got anything.

On Jun 13, 10:35*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:18:02 -0700, sqwertzme wrote:
> > On Jun 13, 9:43*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
> >> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
> >> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>
> > They have houses in Africa? *I thought they just had grass and dung
> > huts <shrug>.
>
> You forgot about the lions roaming around in the streets.

You have streets too?

I'm just a victim of the media.

-sw

"ChattyCathy" wrote
>> "ChattyCathy" wrote
>>
>> > The invite says that 'guests are under no obligation to buy any
>> gifts' -
>>> but they've registered at *two* home ware stores and given all the
>>> details
>>> about them - just in case.
>>
>> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree
>> in
>> Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.
>
> They're not newlyweds, as far as I know...

Ok, I misread it and related it to my own experiences in Hawaii. They get
married and have a house warming / reception. ;-)

>>> That is, until I saw the 'wish list' that they had also tacked on to
>>> the invitation. It includes (among other things): a new HD Television,

>> Again, sorta depends on the background of the folks. With the larger
>> items, it's close family who get them or what you do is dontate a
>> portion of the cost towards an item.

> We're not family, or even close friends. So why send the 'wish list' to
> acquaintances unless they were 'on the make'?

Differnt traditions for differnt places. Filipeno for example, do it like I
described and yes, they provide lots of food and drinks. Casual guests like
you would bring about 10$ worth and end up eating and drinking 5$ or more.
A small side gift is common as well but not 'expected'. That small side
gift really is a *small* item, and normally food related.

>> Say they pick out some nice china?
>> You go and see it's 300$. They arent expecting you to pay 300$, just
>> perhaps put down 10$ or so with the store towards the purchase. If 15
>> folks put down 10$ each, they can then get their china for just 150$.
>> Mom and Dad might put down 500$ towards that new fridge but not the
>> casual guest.
>
> We would qualify as 'we barely know them' guests.

Grin, 10$ then. I'd say their main 'oops' here was not making it clear.

>> If you did want to go and have a friend like you who's also confused, a
>> 40$ gift certificate at a reasonably decent store like JC Penny makes a
>> good housewarmer gift. You each pay half and from it they can pickup
>> that stray small appliance that they still need.
>
> Point is: if they hadn't mentioned gifts in the invite, I would have
> accepted and bought something for them anyway. It's just the
> whole "this is what I expect" thing that put me off.

Grin, understood. Hawaii would drive you crazy!

"ChattyCathy" > wrote in message
...
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:54:56 -0700, Dimitri wrote:
>
>
>>
>> I think it's tongue in cheek - do they have a sense of humor?
>
> No clue. Never socialized with them before. This came 'out of the blue'.
> And if it was that 'tongue in cheek' why name the stores and give
> reference numbers to quote when purchasing their gifts?

Every December, my dad's wife (I refuse to call her my stepmom) emails my
brothers and me a list of items she would like to receive as Christmas
gifts, along with links to the specific items--usually found at expensive
stores. (We don't ever request a list from her, BTW.) I almost always ignore
the email and get her what I would have gotten her if she hadn't sent out
the list.

*Extremely* tacky to include a gift registry notice in an invite--even a
wedding or shower invite. It's customary to learn about where someone is
registered via word-of-mouth. Gifts are *always* considered optional, and
any mention of them in an invite is in poor taste, IMO.

Mary

"Goomba" wrote

>> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree
>> in Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.
>
> Thats about as sad and tacky as "Dollar Dances" at weddings. If someone
> wants to gift people with money at a celebration, they are welcome to do
> it discretely. Slip me an envelope, and lets both get on with the party!

Naw, not tacky at all! You'd have to see it to understand. 'Dollar dances'
are tacky. Dollar trees are a normal thing there in Hawaii and everyone
understands what's up. Saw one couple get almost 30,000$ (very big wedding
/ housewarming with over 1,000 guests I was told at the end). It probably
cost them 10,000$ to hold the party (Luau with 6 roast pit pigs etc).

We werent 'family' but we were more than 'casual friends'. Don and I did 12
hours of hard labor running the bar (for free of course) and gave a small
gift plus a gift card.

Grin, to clarify, Don and I were both fairly junior Navy and as a sideline,
we tended bar for parties like this for 10$ an hour. These were friends so
we worked for free as part of our gift. We didnt lose out though as we made
several contacts and got work from folks who discretely through our friend
got ahold of us later.

> I like the old southern custom we learned about in North Carolina, where
> neighbors hold a "pounding" when people move into new homes. Everyone
> brings a "pound" of something (tea, coffee, flour, sugar...) to stock the
> pantry.

In Japan it's the reverse. New folks move in, they come by to visit the
existing folks and give small household gifts to them!

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:37:19 -0700, steve_wertz911 wrote:

> On Jun 13, 10:35*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
>> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:18:02 -0700, sqwertzme wrote:
>> > On Jun 13, 9:43*am, ChattyCathy > wrote:
>> >> We got an invitation today from an acquaintance and his wife to a combined
>> >> birthday/house warming party they're holding at the end of the month.
>>
>> > They have houses in Africa? *I thought they just had grass and dung
>> > huts <shrug>.
>>
>> You forgot about the lions roaming around in the streets.
>
> You have streets too?

We do. And <gasp> indoor plumbing.
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

ChattyCathy wrote:
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:27:25 -0400, Kate Connally wrote:
>
>> hahabogus wrote:
>>> ChattyCathy > wrote in
>>> news:MHv4k.114052$TL1.92331 @newsfe21.ams2:
>>>
>>>
>>>> Now that's 'Chutzpah', in my book - or is it? We won't be
>>>> accepting the invitation, regardless - we barely know these people.
>>>>
>>>> OBFood: they didn't mention bringing any food, so I'm assuming
>>>> they'll supply it to the guests; <grin>
>>>>
>>>
>>> So if you RSVP state what food you'd like and where it can be
>>> purchased.
>>
>> Oooh! I love that idea. Just what they deserve.
>> And make sure you include the most expensive foods
>> you can think of! ;-)
>
> See my reply to Alan. Except I think I'll tell them I'm accepting on
> behalf of my extended family - which consists of 27 people. <veg>

We at RFC are sort-of your extended family. Invite all of us! :~)

kili

ChattyCathy wrote:
> On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:44:55 +0000, Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>>
>>
>> I would think gifting them with a HD television would preclude the
>> need to bring food. :-) What gall! And the practice seems to be
>> on the rise. Just another example of greed and self-entitlement.
>> Alas!
>
> What got me the most is the fact that we've never really socialized
> with them before... To me it is just an excuse to get 'stuff' from
> anybody they know (however vaguely).

Heck, I can't afford a new 'fridge or HDTV for myself. Oh, and would
someone e-mail me a new stove, while we're at it.

kili

On Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:17:20 -0400, kilikini wrote:

>
> We at RFC are sort-of your extended family. Invite all of us! :~)
>
ROFL!

Can you imagine the reaction if I said I was bringing the Cabal (TINC).

;-)

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

Egg tastes better when it's not on your face...

Serene Vannoy wrote:
> Goomba wrote:
>
>> Oh....now this just seems sad to me. I have tons of fun socializing
>> with folks who aren't in my family. Sometimes more! LOL
>
> Well, sure, if I know what I'm paying for, but a party is supposed to
> be paid for by the person throwing the party. If I can't afford to buy
> everyone's dinner, I don't hold a party in a restaurant -- I have it
> at my home, and I serve food I can afford to serve.

Exactly. I can't get over people saying they are throwing a
party ... then they expect the guests to pay? How is that
throwing a party, you mean everyone who attends is throwing
a party.

Much classier to hold it at your place and actually invite guests
for their company.

nancy

cshenk wrote:
> "Goomba" wrote
>
>>> Common if newlyweds. Especially common in Hawaii. They do a money tree
>>> in Hawaii as well and you clip money (or checks) to it with paperclips.
>> Thats about as sad and tacky as "Dollar Dances" at weddings. If someone
>> wants to gift people with money at a celebration, they are welcome to do
>> it discretely. Slip me an envelope, and lets both get on with the party!
>
> Naw, not tacky at all! You'd have to see it to understand. 'Dollar dances'
> are tacky. Dollar trees are a normal thing there in Hawaii and everyone
> understands what's up. Saw one couple get almost 30,000$ (very big wedding
> / housewarming with over 1,000 guests I was told at the end). It probably
> cost them 10,000$ to hold the party (Luau with 6 roast pit pigs etc).

IMO, I think ANY time money is involved or mentioned in context with a
party (recouping expenses??) it means the dynamic of the function
changes and it isn't a party anymore but rather a fund raiser.

If you can't afford to host a party, don't have one. If your friends had
$10,000. for a luau, that's wonderful. But to then put out a gimmick
like a "tree" to recover the costs of the party it isn't wonderful
anymore in my book (nor Emily Post's, Miss Manners, etc.).

Wayne Boatwright wrote:

> I think that's absolutely true. I can't get over the nerve that
> people have today.

I read somewhere recently, maybe it was Dear Abby, these
people attended a bridal shower and on the way out were
handed thank you notes. They were instructed to write
something like Thank you for the lovely (toaster). Address the
envelope and leave it unsealed so the bride could sign the note.

Where do these people get this stuff??! Crazy.

I'm already iffy about the gift registry thing for weddings, I do
give cash and they can buy what they want. But for a housewarming
and for gifts of that magnitude??? I really think that's tacky.

I did attend a wedding shower where I bought from the gift
registry. I was taken aback by the stuff on the list ... for a
shower? A $300 Kitchenaid I deny myself?? For a shower??

Yikes.

nancy