OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!

I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
doesn't over-toast.

My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!

You?

Andy

On Jun 13, 6:42 am, Andy <q> wrote:
> OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
> second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
> doesn't over-toast.
>
> My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!
>
> You?
>
> Andy

No. I can't be unplugged without irreparable damage.

Andy wrote:
> OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
> second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
> doesn't over-toast.
>
> My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!
>
> You?
>
> Andy

Andy, I may be the wrong person to ask for advice on Toasters.

When I needed a new Toaster some years ago, and after having to do
without toast for several weeks, I went to K-Mart where there was a
small appliance sale going on. I found a beautiful, roomy Toastmaster
Toaster-Oven and bought it and started back home with it. I could not
find a taxi and had to schlep it home on two buses and many blocks that
I had to navigate on foot.

I plugged it in as soon as I unpacked it. It was beautiful, indeed. I
wanted to a piece of toast and started to look at the instruction
booklet, so that I would do everything just right.

There was nothing about toasting. I called the home office. I gave
the person the number of my model.

I had managed to buy a Toastmaster without a toaster unit. (

Do you still want me to help you with advice on Toasters?

"margaret suran" > wrote

> Andy wrote:

>> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever
>> down a second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make
>> sure it doesn't over-toast.

> When I needed a new Toaster some years ago, and after having to do without
> toast for several weeks, I went to K-Mart where there was a small
> appliance sale going on. I found a beautiful, roomy Toastmaster
> Toaster-Oven and bought it and started back home with it. I could not
> find a taxi and had to schlep it home on two buses and many blocks that I
> had to navigate on foot.
>
> I plugged it in as soon as I unpacked it. It was beautiful, indeed. I
> wanted to a piece of toast and started to look at the instruction booklet,
> so that I would do everything just right.
>
> There was nothing about toasting. I called the home office. I gave the
> person the number of my model.
>
> I had managed to buy a Toastmaster without a toaster unit. (
>
> Do you still want me to help you with advice on Toasters?

Andy, you would also be wise to avoid asking Dear Margaret for
help picking out a small tv for the kitchen. Just a thought.

nancy

Nancy Young wrote:
person the number of my model.
>>
>> I had managed to buy a Toastmaster without a toaster unit. (
>>
>> Do you still want me to help you with advice on Toasters?
>
> Andy, you would also be wise to avoid asking Dear Margaret for
> help picking out a small tv for the kitchen. Just a thought.
>
> nancy
>
>
Nancy, you have to understand that I was not familiar with Microwave
ovens at that time. Nobody I knew had one and the little box I saw on
display looked exactly like the TV set I wanted for the kitchen.

So, I was in the kitchen section of the store, not the entertainment
one, but I get confused at times. Many times. (

I still have no microwave and only used one in a hospital once, when the
patient wanted something heated.

Nancy Young said...

>
> "margaret suran" > wrote
>
>> Andy wrote:
>
>>> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever
>>> down a second time for further browning and then be held hostage to
>>> make sure it doesn't over-toast.
>
>> When I needed a new Toaster some years ago, and after having to do
>> without toast for several weeks, I went to K-Mart where there was a
>> small appliance sale going on. I found a beautiful, roomy Toastmaster
>> Toaster-Oven and bought it and started back home with it. I could not
>> find a taxi and had to schlep it home on two buses and many blocks that
>> I had to navigate on foot.
>>
>> I plugged it in as soon as I unpacked it. It was beautiful, indeed. I
>> wanted to a piece of toast and started to look at the instruction
>> booklet, so that I would do everything just right.
>>
>> There was nothing about toasting. I called the home office. I gave
>> the person the number of my model.
>>
>> I had managed to buy a Toastmaster without a toaster unit. (
>>
>> Do you still want me to help you with advice on Toasters?
>
> Andy, you would also be wise to avoid asking Dear Margaret for
> help picking out a small tv for the kitchen. Just a thought.
>
> nancy


nancy,

I got a 4-slice toaster as a gift and out of the box only two of four
actually worked. I couldn't NOT use it as the gifter was a member of the
local family.

I'd probably be tempted to travel over to Margaret's house and use her
Toastmaster than get the 3rd degree interrogation about "where's that
beautiful toaster we gave you?"

And I still broil my English muffins in the oven! What's the point of
toasting the underside of them?

And the time is? ... well, see, this knob winds a spring that turns a gear
that rotates another gear and then...

Coming Up Next: How to make a 3 minute egg in only 2 minutes!

Andy
Recent owner of a brand-spanking new/lousy two-slice toaster

"margaret suran" > wrote

> Nancy Young wrote:
> person the number of my model.
>>>
>>> I had managed to buy a Toastmaster without a toaster unit. (
>>>
>>> Do you still want me to help you with advice on Toasters?
>>
>> Andy, you would also be wise to avoid asking Dear Margaret for
>> help picking out a small tv for the kitchen. Just a thought.

> Nancy, you have to understand that I was not familiar with Microwave ovens
> at that time. Nobody I knew had one and the little box I saw on display
> looked exactly like the TV set I wanted for the kitchen.

Complete endearing story. I loved it.

nancy

In article >, Andy <q> says...
> nancy,
>
> I got a 4-slice toaster as a gift and out of the box only two of four
> actually worked. I couldn't NOT use it as the gifter was a member of the
> local family.
>

Geez, tell the giver (not "gifter", gift is a noun not a verb) that it
does not work and ask what to do about it.


--
Peter Aitken

Peter A said...

> In article >, Andy <q> says...
>> nancy,
>>
>> I got a 4-slice toaster as a gift and out of the box only two of four
>> actually worked. I couldn't NOT use it as the gifter was a member of the
>> local family.
>>
>
> Geez, tell the giver (not "gifter", gift is a noun not a verb) that it
> does not work and ask what to do about it.


I'll try to remember the "giver" advice but you're about 12 years too late
for it to really matter.

Andy

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
> second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
> doesn't over-toast.
>
> My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!
>
> You?
>
> Andy

Get a better toaster? ;-)
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

On Wed, 13 Jun 2007 06:42:44 -0500, Andy <q> wrote:

>OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
>I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
>second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
>doesn't over-toast.
>
>My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!

I know exactly what you mean. I like my toast medium-dark brown. The
rest of the family seems to like it somewhere between light and barely
warm (ugh... who can stand RAW TOAST!?!) :-)

Being as my household has three women and one male, I am outvoted on
EVERYTHING. So the toaster remains on 'Light' and I have to toast
twice. (I could change the setting but it never seems to do quite the
same job each time)

So I toast, wait for it to pop up, push it down again, wait til it
looks right, and pop it up. There's no good solution.

I shall now go and make some toast, making sure that the toaster knows
my hand is on the plug. And don't tempt me, toaster, I'm not afraid
to do it, see?

Best -- Terry

q writes:
>OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
>I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
>second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
>doesn't over-toast.
>
>My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!
>
>You?
>
>Andy

OK, I hope you don't think this is too "Cheesy"!!!

I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to refrain from looking
around to see if anyone is watching before I start to shake the
vending machine when it won't let go of that last corner of my
Peanut M&M's, which I agonized over deciding to buy vs. say a
KitKat or perhaps some glowing orange crackers and chemical peanut
butter if I'm in more of a savory mood... and then that stick figure
man pulling a vending machine over on himself catches my eye, and I
walk away hungry and defeated and $0.65 poorer.

However, vending machines can ALSO be unplugged!!!

Andy wrote:
> OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>
> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever down a
> second time for further browning and then be held hostage to make sure it
> doesn't over-toast.
>
> My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be unplugged!!!

That's not revenge. If it was, there would be the minor detail of having
to plug it or any other toaster back in when you want something from it.
Would there? No. So there.

There's always something else we want from our appliances, no matter how
badly they treat use. We only think we're in control. We're not, not
even close.

BTW, have you tried turning the browning control on the toaster up a little?

Pennyaline said...

> Andy wrote:
>> OK r.f.c folks, "Ham" it up!!!
>>
>> I'm kinda/sorta beside myself about having to press the toaster lever
>> down a second time for further browning and then be held hostage to
>> make sure it doesn't over-toast.
>>
>> My toaster has an awful sense of humor. My revenge: It CAN be
>> unplugged!!!
>
> That's not revenge. If it was, there would be the minor detail of having
> to plug it or any other toaster back in when you want something from it.
> Would there? No. So there.
>
> There's always something else we want from our appliances, no matter how
> badly they treat use. We only think we're in control. We're not, not
> even close.
>
> BTW, have you tried turning the browning control on the toaster up a
> little?


Well yes, of course but it depends on the density of the bread I'm
toasting. And not only that but how do you deal with the "One slice slot"
engraved instructions? I mean for cryin' out loud!!!

AND THEN... there's that stupid single side toasting switch that 9 times
out of 10 you'll forget to change back and ruin your next feeble attempt at
making not-so-perfect toast.

Excuse me while I whip my toaster with a wet noodle!

I don't ordinarily get so worked up but well, you just pushed that button!

"Take that, you poor excuse for a toaster! [lash] Your Mama was a paper
plate! [lash]"

Andy

Andy wrote:
> Well yes, of course but it depends on the density of the bread I'm
> toasting. And not only that but how do you deal with the "One slice slot"
> engraved instructions? I mean for cryin' out loud!!!

"Instructions"? My toaster has "One Slice Only" stamped into it, but
there are no instructions.


> AND THEN... there's that stupid single side toasting switch that 9 times
> out of 10 you'll forget to change back and ruin your next feeble attempt at
> making not-so-perfect toast.

"Single side toasting switch"? Boy, whaddaya talkin' about?

Well there's your problem! You got more toaster than you need, more
toaster than you can handle! C'mon over here with me, boy. Lemme show
you something. I got a honey over here, boy, a real honey! And if you
get approved for OUR financing, son, you can drive it home today, right
off the lot! Now how's that sound to ya, boy?



> Excuse me while I whip my toaster with a wet noodle!
>
> I don't ordinarily get so worked up but well, you just pushed that button!
>
> "Take that, you poor excuse for a toaster! [lash] Your Mama was a paper
> plate! [lash]"

Its Mama was a blow dryer (try to stay in species, son).

On Wed, 13 Jun 2007 14:15:18 -0600, Pennyaline
> wrote:

>Andy wrote:
>> Well yes, of course but it depends on the density of the bread I'm
>> toasting. And not only that but how do you deal with the "One slice slot"
>> engraved instructions? I mean for cryin' out loud!!!
>
>"Instructions"? My toaster has "One Slice Only" stamped into it, but
>there are no instructions.
>
>
>> AND THEN... there's that stupid single side toasting switch that 9 times
>> out of 10 you'll forget to change back and ruin your next feeble attempt at
>> making not-so-perfect toast.
>
>"Single side toasting switch"? Boy, whaddaya talkin' about?
>
>Well there's your problem! You got more toaster than you need, more
>toaster than you can handle! C'mon over here with me, boy. Lemme show
>you something. I got a honey over here, boy, a real honey! And if you
>get approved for OUR financing, son, you can drive it home today, right
>off the lot! Now how's that sound to ya, boy?
>
>
>
>> Excuse me while I whip my toaster with a wet noodle!
>>
>> I don't ordinarily get so worked up but well, you just pushed that button!
>>
>> "Take that, you poor excuse for a toaster! [lash] Your Mama was a paper
>> plate! [lash]"
>
>Its Mama was a blow dryer (try to stay in species, son).


LOLOL! My sides are hurting.

--
See return address to reply by email

said...

> LOLOL! My sides are hurting.


Mine too!

Andy

"Nancy Young" > wrote in
:

> Complete endearing story. I loved it.
>
> nancy
>

Are you haming it up Nanners?

--

The house of the burning beet-Alan

It'll be a sunny day in August, when the Moon will shine that night-
Elbonian Folklore

"hahabogus" > wrote

> "Nancy Young" > wrote

>> Complete endearing story. I loved it.
>
> Are you haming it up Nanners?

Haming? I never hame. Ever.

nancy