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Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner.
Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be invited. You are being invited. They are providing the food, working hard to make the meal as best they can. They are taking allot of trouble. You do NOT IMPOSE on your host by asking what is being served and then setting conditions. I know that isn't always why ALL people ask that question. But more often than not...I think it is. Close friends who delite in my cooking ask me what is for dinner when I invite them. Sometimes I suprise them, Sometimes I tell them if I know I am preparing a fav. of theirs. Most often I reply with......."Your good company". People that are invited and take over the grill. At the least, they will never be asked back. At worst, they will be beated with sticks. Well done steaks. I assume no responsiblity for well done steaks. Yes, I buy the bet I can find. Prime or the top choice my butcher can obtain. Yes it is expensive. But you want to eat it burnt? I can do that. Your friendship is worth more to me than the cost of the steak. I will give you a fair amount of good natured hell for your request ![]() Guests that can't eat this or that. If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. If they can't eat pork and I am making ribs, I provide something of the same quality just for them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. I make great, slow smoked ribbs. My special rub and sauce. My best friend is on Atkins. I make a special rub and sauce just for him when we have a family cook out at my place. Same for my dad who has Type 2 AOSD. Picky eaters. My wife is the pickiest eater in the world. I cook as I do. Picky eaters can just PICK OFF what they don't like. You will not offend me by picking out the onions, peas, garlic, etc.. Drive me nuts? Yep. Offend me? Nope. That is a plate. That is a napkin. My floor is not for crumbs. My plates are not ash trays. Crawl out of the cave, this is 2006. Red wine/white wine. What ever you like. Yes, you may have red wine with fish. High heat/low heat for a roast (beef)? Heat onion in olive oil and butter in a cast iron skillet to soft and translucent and season it with what ever you are seasoning the roast with. Add a head of corse chopped garlic for about 1 min. over med. heat. Remove and place in your roasting pan. Rinse and pat dry your roast. Season. For a chuck roast I use kosher salt, corse black pepper, garlic and onion powder, basil, oregano, Old Bay. Be generous. In the same cast iron skillet that you did the onions and garlic in, brown well all sides of the roast. Place the roast on top of the onions/garlic. Deglaze the skillet with equal amounts of red wine and beef broth (about 2 cups total). Reduce by half. Add wostershire sauce (1/8 cup of so) and heat for 3-5 min. more. Pour over roast. Add 1 cup beef broth to roasting pan and cover with foil twice. TWICE. Crimp foil to form the best seal you can. Set oven to desired doneness. Like 150f. Cook till fork goes in with some resistance but will rip the meat if twisted. Raise temp to 400f. Cook till meat almost wants to fall apart. Pan juices can be used to make a gravy. The answer? Both low and high heat. Just IMHO of course ![]() Ethnic food. Make it ETHNIC. No Tex/hex, Oriental fussion, German/Alaskin. I you are gonna make it Tex/Mex, fine. Say so. Don't call it Mexican food. If you want fast food, go to Mickey D's. If you want my food, please allow me the time to prepare it the way it is intended to be served. Late guests. Eat late. I will reheat, but don't expect me to ignore my other guests while I do so. Early guests. Get the dirty jobs. Drinks. I owned a Resturant/Bar and can make 1M of them. No, I do not have all the booze to do so. Don't ask for a "Purple Hooter" enless you brought the stuff for me to make it. (Vodka, Razzmatazz, Cranberry juice) Smoking. I smoke. But not while people are eating. If I invited you over for dinner, I already know if you smoke. If you invite me, you know that I do. I will not smoke in your house enless you let me know that is is OK. I live just outside of Chicago. If you ask me over for a dinner party in Jan. and it is -60 outside I will not smoke outside, and no, I can not just "not smoke" for the next 4 hours. I have an addiction that is legal in all states. If you can't provide indoor shelter for me while I get my "fix", I will gracefully decline your invitation. No hard feelings. If you invite me and say smoking will be OK and then change it to NO SMOKING when I get there, I will leave. I will never come back for a dinner party again. You lied to me plain and simple. You wanted my company enough to decieve me? I may be a nasty smoker with a filthy habbit. But you my friend put your guest in a very uncomfortable position when your job as host is to put your guest a ease. BBQ sauce. Red, Mustard, Vinagar based. What ever you like! The people of this group. I been around on usenet a Looooooogggg time. I post here once in a great while. I read most of what is posted every day. Great bunch of people. And also some strange people too here and there. You got some great cooks, weirdos, a guy who thinks he knows it all, a guy who likes to post himself nude in other groups, someone who calls Slop to task (funny and true stuff), in short, a cross section of life. I like it here. All of the above is just my opinion. I do not claim to know it all, have the answer to the meaning of life, or know the location of the ark of the covenant. I do know know to cook, like to eat, find humor in the small things, love to read, and enjoy your good company. Cheers! Vega |
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![]() "VegA" > wrote > I do know know to cook, like to eat, find humor in the small things, > love to read, and enjoy your good company. > > > Cheers! Such a fun read for first thing in the morning, and you actually have me thinking of making roast beef for dinner! I never make roast beef, leaving aside pot roast. Thanks! nancy |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 08:46:47 -0500, "Nancy Young" >
wrote: > >"VegA" > wrote > >> I do know know to cook, like to eat, find humor in the small things, >> love to read, and enjoy your good company. >> >> >> Cheers! > >Such a fun read for first thing in the morning, and you actually have >me thinking of making roast beef for dinner! I never make roast beef, >leaving aside pot roast. Thanks! > >nancy > Your welcome. And thanks for your kind comments. Love beef! Love all food! |
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VegA > wrote in message
... > Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for > dinner. > > Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) > people were not raised with manners. My parents raised me > to never ask what's being offered. Just feel good that you were > liked enough to be invited. [snip] I was raised with this expectation and practiced a similar provincial 'Tude for most of my adult life. Recently, unfortunately, my body's decided to become allergic to a minor list of foods. I feel, as a result of this new set of experiences, that dropping over dead on the dinner table, tongue swollen to balloon proportions inside, and protruding from, my mouth would simply provide the wrong commentary to the original meal's intent, though. It also prevents the host(ess) from spending a fortune on certain items. Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. The Ranger |
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![]() The Ranger wrote: > Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) > touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately > bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure > of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) > > I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a > host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees > so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. > > The Ranger If I'm invited, I take care of my allergy to tree nuts by saying, generally, "I don't know if you've decided on your menu or not, but you might want to know that I'm severely allergic to tree nuts. I don't want you to change your menu, but if you do have a dish that includes them, I'd appreciate knowing. Actually, I can eat cashews and almonds, and of course, peanuts." Like you, if I am inviting, then I ask if there are any allergies or other issues I need to know about before planning my menu. (Like, if you see a piece of celery, you'll gag.) N. |
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The way I phrase the question is, "is there anything you can't eat?"
That way I know not to plan shrimp as the main course if my guest is allergic to shellfish while not opening the door to my guests telling me the exact menu they want as though I were a short order cook. I always cook without added salt and try, within reason, to put dressings on the side. The Miss Manners advice is to make sure that there's something on the table that everyone can eat and not worry about it after that. I do follow that advice. If I get a vegetarian who can only eat the salad, I make sure there's plenty of salad. If a friend comes over who is lactose intolerant, I make sure there's something being served that's not covered in cheese. For dessert, there might be something calorie laden, but there's also plain fresh fruit. I've got my bases covered. When I'm the guest, I don't ask what's being served, and I don't volunteer my restrictions unless asked, BUT I am someone with few restrictions and who is capable of eating little or nothing without harm. If the only thing on the table that I can eat is the bread and butter, then I'm happy eating just that. It would be unlikely that someone came up with a menu that was made entirely of things I can't eat (salmon, crab, eggplant, beets, pineapple, liver, popcorn, MSG, green unprocessed oils), but if someone has adverse reactions to wheat, eggs and peanuts, I see no problem with them mentioning that to the hosts. I do have a problem with the general question "what are you serving?" It makes everyone sound pickier than they have any right to be. --Lia |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:14:05 -0500, Julia Altshuler
> wrote: >I do have a problem with the general question "what are you serving?" >It makes everyone sound pickier than they have any right to be. I admit to asking that. Three reasons. 1) Crash is allergic to mushrooms 2) I'd like to offer to bring something to go with it, if they'd like me to (we don't know anyone who is well off, so the offer of food is generally appreciated very much) 3) This might sound weird, but I like getting all excited, knowing I'm going to be enjoying a lasagna (or fill in the blank) dinner. |
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Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
> On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:14:05 -0500, Julia Altshuler > > wrote: > >> I do have a problem with the general question "what are you serving?" >> It makes everyone sound pickier than they have any right to be. > > I admit to asking that. Three reasons. > 1) Crash is allergic to mushrooms > 2) I'd like to offer to bring something to go with it, if they'd like > me to (we don't know anyone who is well off, so the offer of food is > generally appreciated very much) > 3) This might sound weird, but I like getting all excited, knowing > I'm going to be enjoying a lasagna (or fill in the blank) dinner. The proper response in the above is "We'd love to come, but I need to mention that Crash is allergic to 'shrooms. I hope that isn't a problem? And what can I bring!? We're so thrilled to be invited" Leave it at that if they don't jump on the "what you can bring" idea as they may have a menu (even a budget friendly one)in mind already. Or they don't yet. Perhaps what you want to bring doesn't fit the meal? Don't force the issue if there is any hesitation. Or you could offer a broad "Can I bring dessert?" and leave it at that, so when you bring it they have a surprise too. |
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Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
> On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:14:05 -0500, Julia Altshuler > > wrote: > > >>I do have a problem with the general question "what are you serving?" >>It makes everyone sound pickier than they have any right to be. > > > I admit to asking that. Three reasons. > 1) Crash is allergic to mushrooms > 2) I'd like to offer to bring something to go with it, if they'd like > me to (we don't know anyone who is well off, so the offer of food is > generally appreciated very much) > 3) This might sound weird, but I like getting all excited, knowing > I'm going to be enjoying a lasagna (or fill in the blank) dinner. But you could accomplish all 3 of your goals by asking in a different way. You could say, "I love to cook and would love to make something to go with your main course if you like." Then your hostess could tell you what she's making without your starting the conversation with "what are you serving?" You could say nothing, and if one dish happens to have mushrooms, Crash could refuse that one item. It's hard to imagine a dinner with mushrooms in everything. Of course, some people have more restricted diets than others. If someone is diabetic or has a ton of allergies, they might say when accepting the invitation, "I'd love to come. I'm diabetic and have a ton of allergies that puts me on a restricted diet; shall I bring my own meal?" Then the hostess can say what she's planning to make, and they can talk about it together. It still sounds better than "what are you serving?" out of the blue. --Lia |
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On 15 Nov 2006 07:27:40 -0800, "Nancy2" >
wrote: >Like you, if I am inviting, then I ask if there are any allergies or >other issues I need to know about before planning my menu. (Like, if >you see a piece of celery, you'll gag.) LOL! I have a friend (married to a college friend) who isn't allergic, but sure doesn't eat much of anything.... a classic picky eater - grown up. We find we enjoy dinner much more if we go out to a restaurant with that couple. -- See return address to reply by email |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:57:50 -0800, "The Ranger"
> wrote: >VegA > wrote in message .. . >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for >> dinner. >> >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) >> people were not raised with manners. My parents raised me >> to never ask what's being offered. Just feel good that you were >> liked enough to be invited. >[snip] > >I was raised with this expectation and practiced a similar >provincial 'Tude for most of my adult life. Recently, unfortunately, >my body's decided to become allergic to a minor list of foods. I >feel, as a result of this new set of experiences, that dropping over >dead on the dinner table, tongue swollen to balloon proportions >inside, and protruding from, my mouth would simply provide the wrong >commentary to the original meal's intent, though. It also prevents >the host(ess) from spending a fortune on certain items. > >Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) >touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately >bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure >of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) > >I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a >host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees >so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. > >The Ranger > I always ask if they are allergic to anything. I'm allergic to rag weed. One of my kids came home from school with head lice and of course the entire household got it. R.I.D. (over the counter lice treatment) has rag weed in it! Read the lable. Damn near killed myself! Had to get some $50 prescription stuff! |
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VegA > wrote in message
... [snip] > I always ask if they are allergic to anything. [snip] I think we're in violent agreement just saying things differently. The Ranger |
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The Ranger wrote:
> Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) > touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately > bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure > of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) > > I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a > host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees > so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. > The difference being is that I'm sure you discretely mention your allergies to the hostess long before the event and her cooking, and not make a big public drama out of it while at the dinner. That is acceptable. Demanding to know the menu because you're unsophisticated and don't want to risk being served a piece of meat on the bone is not. |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 11:51:24 -0500, Goomba38 >
wrote: >The Ranger wrote: > >> Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) >> touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately >> bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure >> of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) >> >> I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a >> host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees >> so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. >> >The difference being is that I'm sure you discretely mention your >allergies to the hostess long before the event and her cooking, and not >make a big public drama out of it while at the dinner. That is acceptable. >Demanding to know the menu because you're unsophisticated and don't want >to risk being served a piece of meat on the bone is not. Well said. |
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Goomba38 > wrote in message
. .. > The Ranger wrote: > > Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main > > source) touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I > > immediately bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, > > I now get the pleasure of carrying that little Pen about on > > my person. It sucks to be me.) > > > > I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something > > that a host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I > > know I ask invitees so as not to witness that sort of > > commentary about my cooking. > > > The difference being is that I'm sure you discretely mention > your allergies to the hostess long before the event and her > cooking, and not make a big public drama out of it while > at the dinner. That is acceptable. You're right; it's mostly my MO. There was the time I was served a dessert with a raspberry puree that caught me completely by surprise. I thought the stinging on my tongue was the booze (she used that Greek Everclear as a base) but by the time we were ready to head home for the evening, I was an angry-red and fully-mottled hive. I stopped at the emergency clinic for some prescription-strength Benadryl that night. > Demanding to know the menu because you're unsophisticated > and don't want to risk being served a piece of meat on the bone > is not. That is different; I've [luckily] only run these buffoons at work-related luncheons and dinners. If I'm playing host, I'll be first to ask the invitee about known allergies and if the list gets too long, I'll ask which restaurant they would like to meet at. None of my friends have such a lengthy list but there was one at my previous place of employment that pulled it (once.) The Ranger |
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The Ranger wrote:
I was an angry-red and fully-mottled > hive. I stopped at the emergency clinic for some > prescription-strength Benadryl that night. > Just an FYI. There is no "prescription strength Benadryl".. just a higher dose given sometimes and alternative routes (oral and IV). |
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Goomba38 > wrote in message
. .. > The Ranger wrote: > > I was an angry-red and fully-mottled > > hive. I stopped at the emergency clinic for some > > prescription-strength Benadryl that night. > > > Just an FYI. There is no "prescription strength Benadryl".. > just a higher dose given sometimes and alternative routes > (oral and IV). These higher dose applications are unavailable OTC, and only upon physician [written] request. Doesn't that make them prescription? (Or are you simply arguing with my description of "prescription-strength?") Either way, that night I had to take a liquid (that had some type of sleep-agent mixed in it) and received five funky little pills that took the itch and hives away within three days. I now know of several vine-based berries (lingonberries, blackberries, boysenberries, raspberries, and much to my everlasting annoyance, strawberries) that I cannot enjoy without turning into one... Luckily, grapes are not on that growing list but I have been warned it might just be a matter of time. The Ranger |
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Goomba38 > writes:
>The difference being is that I'm sure you discretely mention your >allergies to the hostess long before the event and her cooking, and not >make a big public drama out of it while at the dinner. That is acceptable. >Demanding to know the menu because you're unsophisticated and don't want >to risk being served a piece of meat on the bone is not. Okay, so it's not just my odd luck that causes people to ask if the meat will be "white only" or "on the bone". I have no idea why some people are so picky about that! Mom used to make a point of telling me that she didn't like chicken on the bone because it was too messy, so I made a coq au vin with white meat for her, and just wasn't as good. I'm the cook, let me do my thing! ![]() Stacia |
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![]() The Ranger wrote: > I was raised with this expectation and practiced a similar > provincial 'Tude for most of my adult life. Recently, unfortunately, > my body's decided to become allergic to a minor list of foods. I > feel, as a result of this new set of experiences, that dropping over > dead on the dinner table, tongue swollen to balloon proportions > inside, and protruding from, my mouth would simply provide the wrong > commentary to the original meal's intent, though. It also prevents > the host(ess) from spending a fortune on certain items. > > Fer example... I love crab. If crab juice (not even the main source) > touches my tongue, it's a pretty dramatic reaction. I immediately > bloat, wheeze, and get all blotchy. (And yes, I now get the pleasure > of carrying that little Pen about on my person. It sucks to be me.) > > I find that this new feature I'm experiencing is something that a > host(ess) wants to know prior to their event. I know I ask invitees > so as not to witness that sort of commentary about my cooking. > > The Ranger Conveying an allergy is one thing - dictating a menu is something else altogether. I have to make sure the menus at the parties we attend are nut-free, because my son's life may depend on it. -L. |
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In article >,
VegA > wrote: > Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. > > Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were > not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's > being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be > invited. > and > If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. I provide something of the same quality just for > them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a > small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. These two statements just contradicted each other... There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" requests! If they are not good enough friends to feel comfortable making said request, they would not have been invited in the first place! His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured foot and was on crutches...... -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 09:49:11 -0600, Omelet >
wrote: >In article >, > VegA > wrote: > >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. >> >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were >> not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's >> being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be >> invited. >> > >and > >> If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. I provide something of the same quality just for >> them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a >> small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. > >These two statements just contradicted each other... > >There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" >requests! > >If they are not good enough friends to feel comfortable making said >request, they would not have been invited in the first place! > >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured >foot and was on crutches...... Sorry I tend to disagree. When I am invited I wouldn't think of imposing on my host to the degree that they have to rearrange the menu for me. I'm not THAT special. What if they already purchased the food? If I don't like what they are serving, would that make me decline the invation? No. I say, "Please don't serve chicken". You say "Please no pork". My wife says "No beef please". See where this can lead? Perhaps The host should print a menu and allow their guests to oder their food from it! |
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In article >,
VegA > wrote: > On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 09:49:11 -0600, Omelet > > wrote: > > >In article >, > > VegA > wrote: > > > >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. > >> > >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were > >> not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's > >> being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be > >> invited. > >> > > > >and > > > >> If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. I provide something of the > >> same quality just for > >> them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a > >> small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. > > > >These two statements just contradicted each other... > > > >There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" > >requests! > > > >If they are not good enough friends to feel comfortable making said > >request, they would not have been invited in the first place! > > > >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured > >foot and was on crutches...... > > > Sorry I tend to disagree. > > When I am invited I wouldn't think of imposing on my host to the > degree that they have to rearrange the menu for me. I'm not THAT > special. I did not have to re-arrange the menu... I would not even serve _myself_ the two single requests he made! I don't eat crap like that, but he did not know that. He knows now. <G> I think they were not expecting the level of meal preparation that I love to do for guests! > What if they already purchased the food? If I don't like what they are > serving, would that make me decline the invation? No. I would never, EVER serve mystery ground meat to guests, nor do I EVER use lighter fluid. That stuff is pure poison and anyone that uses it is an idiot. > > I say, "Please don't serve chicken". You say "Please no pork". My wife > says "No beef please". See where this can lead? Simple. I'd serve fish or get the guests together for a compromise. Barring that, I'd prepare more than one entree. I do that all the time anyway... Mine and dad's tastes don't always agree. > > Perhaps The host should print a menu and allow their guests to oder > their food from it! I've considered it! I don't generally cook for myself. Honestly, if I lived alone, I'd probably eat pre-prepared nuked TV dinners or eat out more. That's just the way I am. I take joy in sharing. Good food is no fun or pleasure for me if I don't get to share it with someone. It's vital to me that someone else enjoys my efforts. Sorry if that sounds weird, but that's just "me" and I am not ashamed of that. -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:36:55 -0600, Omelet >
wrote: >In article >, > VegA > wrote: > >> On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 09:49:11 -0600, Omelet > >> wrote: >> >> >In article >, >> > VegA > wrote: >> > >> >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. >> >> >> >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were >> >> not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's >> >> being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be >> >> invited. >> >> >> > >> >and >> > >> >> If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. I provide something of the >> >> same quality just for >> >> them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a >> >> small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. >> > >> >These two statements just contradicted each other... >> > >> >There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" >> >requests! >> > >> >If they are not good enough friends to feel comfortable making said >> >request, they would not have been invited in the first place! >> > >> >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured >> >foot and was on crutches...... >> >> >> Sorry I tend to disagree. >> >> When I am invited I wouldn't think of imposing on my host to the >> degree that they have to rearrange the menu for me. I'm not THAT >> special. > >I did not have to re-arrange the menu... >I would not even serve _myself_ the two single requests he made! >I don't eat crap like that, but he did not know that. Like I said, I didn't read your post. > >He knows now. <G> I think they were not expecting the level of meal >preparation that I love to do for guests! > >> What if they already purchased the food? If I don't like what they are >> serving, would that make me decline the invation? No. > >I would never, EVER serve mystery ground meat to guests, nor do I EVER >use lighter fluid. That stuff is pure poison and anyone that uses it is >an idiot. Nor would I. Just because they may have already purchased the food does not make it ground turtle guts. I agree 100% about the lighter fluid. Tastes like gasoline. > >> >> I say, "Please don't serve chicken". You say "Please no pork". My wife >> says "No beef please". See where this can lead? > >Simple. I'd serve fish or get the guests together for a compromise. >Barring that, I'd prepare more than one entree. I do that all the time >anyway... Mine and dad's tastes don't always agree. I don't think you got my point. I could have also said, "Bub says no fish". Want a compromise? Throw a pot luck! > >> >> Perhaps The host should print a menu and allow their guests to oder >> their food from it! > >I've considered it! Kewl! Last time I did that I opened a resturant. I also charged for it. But it could be fun. A theme night! Theme night...Strip club theme!!!! > >I don't generally cook for myself. Honestly, if I lived alone, I'd >probably eat pre-prepared nuked TV dinners or eat out more. That's just >the way I am. I take joy in sharing. TV dinners have worse stuff in them than the lighter fluid you mentioned. I too enjoy cooking for others. But there is a point where it is NOT fun anymore. Like, no this, that, the other... > >Good food is no fun or pleasure for me if I don't get to share it with >someone. It's vital to me that someone else enjoys my efforts. Agreed! > >Sorry if that sounds weird, but that's just "me" and I am not ashamed of >that. No reason to be. I like you just the way you are ![]() |
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![]() On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:36:55 -0600, Omelet > wrote: >I would never, EVER serve mystery ground meat to guests, nor do I EVER >use lighter fluid. That stuff is pure poison and anyone that uses it is >an idiot. Am I mistaken? Did you say you use kerosene instead? I wouldn't like that, either, no offense. nancy |
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In article >,
VegA > wrote: > >> Perhaps The host should print a menu and allow their guests to oder > >> their food from it! > > > >I've considered it! > > Kewl! Last time I did that I opened a resturant. I also charged for > it. > > But it could be fun. A theme night! > > Theme night...Strip club theme!!!! <lol> With or without the poker game??? > > > >I don't generally cook for myself. Honestly, if I lived alone, I'd > >probably eat pre-prepared nuked TV dinners or eat out more. That's just > >the way I am. I take joy in sharing. > > TV dinners have worse stuff in them than the lighter fluid you > mentioned. True for the most part... Some are better/worse than others. > > I too enjoy cooking for others. But there is a point where it is NOT > fun anymore. Like, no this, that, the other... I see your point, it can get stressful. It's just that my guest made only two simple, reasonable requests and everyone is coming unglued over it. He and his wife do not purchase nor eat ground meat. Beef or sausage, either one. While it has nothing to do with allergies, there are some types of food that I prefer not to eat either. I have several food sensitivities so I guess that's why I tend to respect food preferences more? He also asked that I not use lighter fluid. I actually went as far as not using briquets since they are chemically treated. I posted the pics of the wood and charcoal that I bought and used. I'll be doing that from now on now that I know for sure the big store carries that stuff! I'll also raid some country roads for mesquite deadwood and stockpile it. When I e-mailed him about veggie preference, he said any veggies would be wonderful. That made it easy. I stuck with standby's that have worked in the past. > > > > >Good food is no fun or pleasure for me if I don't get to share it with > >someone. It's vital to me that someone else enjoys my efforts. > > Agreed! > > > > >Sorry if that sounds weird, but that's just "me" and I am not ashamed of > >that. > > No reason to be. I like you just the way you are ![]() Ditto here! It's okay to agree to disagree sometimes on some items... Cheers! -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 09:49:11 -0600, Omelet >
wrote: >In article >, > VegA > wrote: > >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. >> >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were >> not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's >> being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be >> invited. >> > >and > >> If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. I provide something of the same quality just for >> them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a >> small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. > >These two statements just contradicted each other... > >There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" >requests! > >If they are not good enough friends to feel comfortable making said >request, they would not have been invited in the first place! > >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured >foot and was on crutches...... Just reread this. I don't get the:>His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured foot and was on crutches......part. I didn't read your orginal post so I wan't commenting on it. I was just posting my general thoughts on the types of things I have read here over time. Peace. I don't expect my guests to help clean up. It's nice if they offer, but I didn't have them over to put them to work. Enless they show up an hour early ![]() |
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In article >,
VegA > wrote: > >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured > >foot and was on crutches...... > > Just reread this. > > I don't get the:>His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She > had a badly injured foot and was on crutches......part. > > I didn't read your orginal post so I wan't commenting on it. I was > just posting my general thoughts on the types of things I have read > here over time. > > Peace. > > I don't expect my guests to help clean up. It's nice if they offer, > but I didn't have them over to put them to work. > > Enless they show up an hour early ![]() I don't expect my guests to help me clean up either! It's just something that she said to me out of the blue that I was impressed by... It was no big deal anyway for me to do a quick cleanup as I clean as I cook so the kitchen is clean when I serve. All I have to clean are the plates, glasses and flatware we use which takes maybe 5 minutes. The last party I attended, I DID help clean up! I helped to put the buffet stuff away (it was a new years party with a table full of appetizers) and I washed dishes. I've known that couple for years. Paul and his husband Rodney are very good friends. One of the most wonderful couples it's been my joy to know. I felt perfectly comfortable helping clean up and we were also spending the night so it made sense. <G> One of my best female friends wedding receptions, I was a bit bored so I found her mom and helped her finish setting up the buffet items too. <G> I find doing stuff like that to be fun! -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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On Wed, 15 Nov 2006 13:45:27 -0600, Omelet >
wrote: >In article >, > VegA > wrote: > >> >His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She had a badly injured >> >foot and was on crutches...... >> >> Just reread this. >> >> I don't get the:>His wife apologized for not helping me clean up. She >> had a badly injured foot and was on crutches......part. >> >> I didn't read your orginal post so I wan't commenting on it. I was >> just posting my general thoughts on the types of things I have read >> here over time. >> >> Peace. >> >> I don't expect my guests to help clean up. It's nice if they offer, >> but I didn't have them over to put them to work. >> >> Enless they show up an hour early ![]() > >I don't expect my guests to help me clean up either! It's just something >that she said to me out of the blue that I was impressed by... > >It was no big deal anyway for me to do a quick cleanup as I clean as I >cook so the kitchen is clean when I serve. All I have to clean are the >plates, glasses and flatware we use which takes maybe 5 minutes. > >The last party I attended, I DID help clean up! I helped to put the >buffet stuff away (it was a new years party with a table full of >appetizers) and I washed dishes. > >I've known that couple for years. Paul and his husband Rodney are very >good friends. One of the most wonderful couples it's been my joy to >know. I felt perfectly comfortable helping clean up and we were also >spending the night so it made sense. <G> > >One of my best female friends wedding receptions, I was a bit bored so I >found her mom and helped her finish setting up the buffet items too. <G> >I find doing stuff like that to be fun! Wanna come over for dinner tonight? I need the housed cleaned! jUST KIDDING!!!! i COULDN'T RESIST ![]() |
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In article >,
VegA > wrote: > >One of my best female friends wedding receptions, I was a bit bored so I > >found her mom and helped her finish setting up the buffet items too. <G> > >I find doing stuff like that to be fun! > > Wanna come over for dinner tonight? I need the housed cleaned! > > jUST KIDDING!!!! > > i COULDN'T RESIST ![]() <lol>! If I'm bored enough, don't think I'd not do it........ ;-D -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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Omelet wrote:
> There is not a damned thing wrong with special "please don't serve" > requests! > Yes, there is. Read any etiquette book. He was out of line. His issues weren't valid or even faux allergies. You want to overlook it because you said yourself you don't do dinners often, and perhaps were grateful to have him over. It is not nice to tell the hostess how she may or may not prepare something. |
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![]() VegA wrote: > Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. Are rude. > > Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were > not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's > being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be > invited. Agreed. However, if asked, I offer preferences. A good host always asks for preferences (usually among different choices) and allergies. <snip> > Well done steaks. > > > I assume no responsiblity for well done steaks. Yes, I buy the bet I > can find. Prime or the top choice my butcher can obtain. Yes it is > expensive. But you want to eat it burnt? I can do that. Your > friendship is worth more to me than the cost of the steak. > > I will give you a fair amount of good natured hell for your request ![]() Why do you care how someone likes their steak? > > > Guests that can't eat this or that. > > If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. If they can't eat pork > and I am making ribs, I provide something of the same quality just for > them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a > small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. I make great, > slow smoked ribbs. My special rub and sauce. My best friend is on > Atkins. I make a special rub and sauce just for him when we have a > family cook out at my place. Same for my dad who has Type 2 AOSD. I do the same. > > > Picky eaters. > > My wife is the pickiest eater in the world. I cook as I do. Picky > eaters can just PICK OFF what they don't like. You will not offend me > by picking out the onions, peas, garlic, etc.. Drive me nuts? Yep. > Offend me? Nope. > I omit that which my DH doesn't like. It really is a small list (celery) and I can add it to my own food on the side. No skin off my nose! > > That is a plate. That is a napkin. My floor is not for crumbs. My > plates are not ash trays. Crawl out of the cave, this is 2006. > I have never had that problem. > > Red wine/white wine. > > > What ever you like. Yes, you may have red wine with fish. Agreed. I offer a selection and they can schoose from that selection. > > > > High heat/low heat for a roast (beef)? > > <snip> > The answer? Both low and high heat. > > Just IMHO of course ![]() I used to sear and then just crock it. > > > Ethnic food. > > Make it ETHNIC. No Tex/hex, Oriental fussion, German/Alaskin. I like them all. What is German/Alaskan? Or was that a joke? > > I you are gonna make it Tex/Mex, fine. Say so. Don't call it Mexican > food. > > > If you want fast food, go to Mickey D's. If you want my food, please > allow me the time to prepare it the way it is intended to be served. > Agreed. > > Late guests. > > Eat late. I will reheat, but don't expect me to ignore my other > guests while I do so. > > > Early guests. > > Get the dirty jobs. > LOL... > > Drinks. > > > I owned a Resturant/Bar and can make 1M of them. No, I do not have all > the booze to do so. Don't ask for a "Purple Hooter" enless you brought > the stuff for me to make it. (Vodka, Razzmatazz, Cranberry juice) > > > Smoking. > > > I smoke. But not while people are eating. If I invited you over for > dinner, I already know if you smoke. If you invite me, you know that I > do. > > I will not smoke in your house enless you let me know that is is OK. I > live just outside of Chicago. If you ask me over for a dinner party in > Jan. and it is -60 outside I will not smoke outside, and no, I can not > just "not smoke" for the next 4 hours. I have an addiction that is > legal in all states. If you can't provide indoor shelter for me while > I get my "fix", I will gracefully decline your invitation. No hard > feelings. No one smokes in my house. Not even in winter. > > If you invite me and say smoking will be OK and then change it to NO > SMOKING when I get there, I will leave. I will never come back for a > dinner party again. You lied to me plain and simple. You wanted my > company enough to decieve me? I may be a nasty smoker with a filthy > habbit. But you my friend put your guest in a very uncomfortable > position when your job as host is to put your guest a ease. That would be rude, to say the least. > > > BBQ sauce. > > Red, Mustard, Vinagar based. > > What ever you like! > > > The people of this group. > > I been around on usenet a Looooooogggg time. I post here once in a > great while. I read most of what is posted every day. > > Great bunch of people. And also some strange people too here and > there. You got some great cooks, weirdos, a guy who thinks he knows it > all, a guy who likes to post himself nude in other groups, someone who > calls Slop to task (funny and true stuff) HUMM...who is the nudie? I must have been absent that day.... > in short, a cross section > of life. Usenet is the virtual street corner. ![]() > > I like it here. > > > All of the above is just my opinion. I do not claim to know it all, > have the answer to the meaning of life, or know the location of the > ark of the covenant. > > > I do know know to cook, like to eat, find humor in the small things, > love to read, and enjoy your good company. > > > Cheers! > > > Vega Come back and post more often. Cheers! -L. |
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On 15 Nov 2006 08:38:17 -0800, "-L." > wrote:
> >VegA wrote: >> Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. > >Are rude. > >> >> Perhaps I am old fashioned or maybe some (seems like most) people were >> not raised with manners. My parents raised me to never ask what's >> being offered. Just feel good that you were liked enough to be >> invited. > >Agreed. However, if asked, I offer preferences. A good host always >asks for preferences (usually among different choices) and allergies. > ><snip> > >> Well done steaks. >> >> >> I assume no responsiblity for well done steaks. Yes, I buy the bet I >> can find. Prime or the top choice my butcher can obtain. Yes it is >> expensive. But you want to eat it burnt? I can do that. Your >> friendship is worth more to me than the cost of the steak. >> >> I will give you a fair amount of good natured hell for your request ![]() > >Why do you care how someone likes their steak? I don't know. It really is no big deal. Kinda like when we were kids. I knew the kid next door picked his nose and eats it, but that dosn't mean I wanna watch him as he does it ![]() > >> >> >> Guests that can't eat this or that. >> >> If they can't eat it, I won't serve it to them. If they can't eat pork >> and I am making ribs, I provide something of the same quality just for >> them. It is NOT too much trouble. I must like them enought to make a >> small adjustment if I invited them in the 1st place. I make great, >> slow smoked ribbs. My special rub and sauce. My best friend is on >> Atkins. I make a special rub and sauce just for him when we have a >> family cook out at my place. Same for my dad who has Type 2 AOSD. > >I do the same. > >> >> >> Picky eaters. >> >> My wife is the pickiest eater in the world. I cook as I do. Picky >> eaters can just PICK OFF what they don't like. You will not offend me >> by picking out the onions, peas, garlic, etc.. Drive me nuts? Yep. >> Offend me? Nope. >> > >I omit that which my DH doesn't like. It really is a small list >(celery) and I can add it to my own food on the side. No skin off my >nose! It would be easier to type out what my wife eats! The list of no's would be way too long. Umm, you said nose! (read my last response above ![]() > >> >> That is a plate. That is a napkin. My floor is not for crumbs. My >> plates are not ash trays. Crawl out of the cave, this is 2006. >> > >I have never had that problem. I only have that problem with one person. My DAD. He really ****es off my Mom when he does it too! > >> >> Red wine/white wine. >> >> >> What ever you like. Yes, you may have red wine with fish. > >Agreed. I offer a selection and they can schoose from that selection. > >> >> >> >> High heat/low heat for a roast (beef)? >> >> ><snip> > >> The answer? Both low and high heat. >> >> Just IMHO of course ![]() > >I used to sear and then just crock it. > >> >> >> Ethnic food. >> >> Make it ETHNIC. No Tex/hex, Oriental fussion, German/Alaskin. > >I like them all. What is German/Alaskan? Or was that a joke? Joke. Hmmm....now you got me thinking. Blubberworst! > >> >> I you are gonna make it Tex/Mex, fine. Say so. Don't call it Mexican >> food. >> >> >> If you want fast food, go to Mickey D's. If you want my food, please >> allow me the time to prepare it the way it is intended to be served. >> > >Agreed. > >> >> Late guests. >> >> Eat late. I will reheat, but don't expect me to ignore my other >> guests while I do so. >> >> >> Early guests. >> >> Get the dirty jobs. >> > >LOL... > >> >> Drinks. >> >> >> I owned a Resturant/Bar and can make 1M of them. No, I do not have all >> the booze to do so. Don't ask for a "Purple Hooter" enless you brought >> the stuff for me to make it. (Vodka, Razzmatazz, Cranberry juice) >> >> >> Smoking. >> >> >> I smoke. But not while people are eating. If I invited you over for >> dinner, I already know if you smoke. If you invite me, you know that I >> do. >> >> I will not smoke in your house enless you let me know that is is OK. I >> live just outside of Chicago. If you ask me over for a dinner party in >> Jan. and it is -60 outside I will not smoke outside, and no, I can not >> just "not smoke" for the next 4 hours. I have an addiction that is >> legal in all states. If you can't provide indoor shelter for me while >> I get my "fix", I will gracefully decline your invitation. No hard >> feelings. > >No one smokes in my house. Not even in winter. And that is fine and dandy. Your house, your rule. I have a brother-in-law who will not allow smoking in his house. Christmas every year was at his place. We would go outside to smoke. One year it was something like -20 out. I declined the Christmas invite. His wife callled and said we just HAD to come, and she talked with Jim, and we could smoke in the garage. That lasted till after the 1st smoke my wife, my mother-in-law, and I had. Jim said "sorry, but the smoke is going to seep in through the dray wall and he is allergic. We had to go OUTSIDE. Wind chill was -60. 3 hours later he is in his family room smoking a joint and bumming a cig. from me. Next holiday, back top the same smoking ban. Pardon me but, **** him. It's cold out. You don't allow smoking. It's OK. I will just decline. No hard feelings. > >> >> If you invite me and say smoking will be OK and then change it to NO >> SMOKING when I get there, I will leave. I will never come back for a >> dinner party again. You lied to me plain and simple. You wanted my >> company enough to decieve me? I may be a nasty smoker with a filthy >> habbit. But you my friend put your guest in a very uncomfortable >> position when your job as host is to put your guest a ease. > >That would be rude, to say the least. Yea. And when it's family, its criminal. > >> >> >> BBQ sauce. >> >> Red, Mustard, Vinagar based. >> >> What ever you like! >> >> >> The people of this group. >> >> I been around on usenet a Looooooogggg time. I post here once in a >> great while. I read most of what is posted every day. >> >> Great bunch of people. And also some strange people too here and >> there. You got some great cooks, weirdos, a guy who thinks he knows it >> all, a guy who likes to post himself nude in other groups, someone who >> calls Slop to task (funny and true stuff) > >HUMM...who is the nudie? I must have been absent that day.... I'm not outing anyone. It's more like masterbation pictures, not just nude. Nude is not lude. > >> in short, a cross section >> of life. > >Usenet is the virtual street corner. ![]() Yep. One exception. In real life, people can get their ass kicked for being an asshole. Her people can hide and say things they would never say to someone in real life. >> >> I like it here. >> >> >> All of the above is just my opinion. I do not claim to know it all, >> have the answer to the meaning of life, or know the location of the >> ark of the covenant. >> >> >> I do know know to cook, like to eat, find humor in the small things, >> love to read, and enjoy your good company. >> >> >> Cheers! >> >> >> Vega > >Come back and post more often. > >Cheers! > >-L. Thanks, I think I will ![]() |
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![]() -L. wrote: > [snip] > I like them all. What is German/Alaskan? Or was that a joke? > [more snips] Perhaps a schnitzel with a Caddy Ganty sauce...... -aem |
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In article .com>,
"-L." > wrote: > VegA wrote: > > Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. > > Are rude. Are close friends that know that I don't mind that sort of thing. :-) Lighten up already! -- Peace, Om Remove _ to validate e-mails. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson |
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![]() Omelet wrote: > In article .com>, > "-L." > wrote: > > > VegA wrote: > > > Guests that inquire as to what will be served when invited for dinner. > > > > Are rude. > > Are close friends that know that I don't mind that sort of thing. :-) Ok, for you and your friends it's ok, then, but it's not proper etiquette in contemporary society and never will be. You don't ask about or dictate a host's menu - it is just something that shouldn't be done because it's rude. Your role as a guest is to accept or decline the invitation politely. For example, I was recenly served filet mignon eventhough I do not eat beef. I ate what I could because I'm a polite guest. Had I been asked before hand I would have stated that we eat no beef. But I wasn't asked, so I had to suck it up and eat it, or not, as was my choice. I ate some to be polite. Conversely I am hosting guests for Thanksgiving that eat no meat. I know this and will accomodate them. I asked for preferences and one guest doesn't like mushrooms. That's fine - there are plenty of things I can make without using 'shrooms. Had i not asked and people inquired about the menu, it would have been rude. But as a host I am willing to accomodate preferences, so I always ask or offer a menu. > > Lighten up already! Has nothing to do with not being "light". It's having good manners as a guest. In some circles it's acceptable to fart and belch at the dinner table, as well. That doesn't mean that doing so is accepted in society. -L. |
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![]() "-L." > wrote > > Ok, for you and your friends it's ok, then, but it's not proper > etiquette in contemporary society and never will be. You don't ask > about or dictate a host's menu - it is just something that shouldn't be > done because it's rude. Your role as a guest is to accept or decline > the invitation politely. > > For example, I was recenly served filet mignon eventhough I do not eat > beef. I ate what I could because I'm a polite guest. Had I been asked > before hand I would have stated that we eat no beef. But I wasn't > asked, so I had to suck it up and eat it, or not, as was my choice. I > ate some to be polite. Conversely I am hosting guests for > Thanksgiving that eat no meat. I know this and will accomodate them. > I asked for preferences and one guest doesn't like mushrooms. That's > fine - there are plenty of things I can make without using 'shrooms. > Had i not asked and people inquired about the menu, it would have been > rude. But as a host I am willing to accomodate preferences, so I > always ask or offer a menu. > I have to agree. When I have people over I generally let them know what I am making, and ask if that is okay, no allergies, etc. I think that is considerate. But if I am invited, you bet I have nothing to say about the menu unless I am asked. In my experience most people will say, "I'm fixing _____, does so and so like that?" I feel sorry for people who have to cook for kids who all eat different things at home. I have nephews like that. Their mother thinks she has pampered them by catering to their whims from infancy, but she has really ruined them. Only one out of four of these kids will eat PEANUT butter, and no, they are not allergic. Only one will eat eggs--a different one. All of them will not eat any pizza that has any topping but exactly what they want, and I mean, they will go hungry rather than eat it. Each drinks a different type of soda and each eats a different type of breakfast cereal. |
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![]() cybercat wrote: > I have to agree. When I have people over I generally let them know > what I am making, and ask if that is okay, no allergies, etc. I think that > is considerate. But if I am invited, you bet I have nothing to say about > the menu unless I am asked. In my experience most people will say, "I'm > fixing _____, does so and so like that?" Yes - IME as well. > > I feel sorry for people who have to cook for kids who all eat different > things > at home. > > I have nephews like that. Their mother thinks she has pampered them by > catering to their whims from infancy, but she has really ruined them. Only > one out of four of these kids will eat PEANUT butter, and no, they are > not allergic. Only one will eat eggs--a different one. All of them will not > eat any pizza that has any topping but exactly what they want, and I mean, > they will go hungry rather than eat it. Each drinks a different type of soda > and > each eats a different type of breakfast cereal. Sheesh!! None of that in my house. If J doesn't like what I put on his plate, he drinks his milk and waits for the next meal. The only time I will fix different things to get him to eat is when he is sick. He's a good eater though - eats as much as I do sometimes, and has grown 4 inches in the last 6 months. He amazes me. -L. |
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