Doodymun wrote:
> Doodymon wrote:
>> Doodyman wrote:
>>> Project Poo Bear
>>> November 19, 2009
>>>
>>> Following a massive bowel movement to top off the 55 gallon drum of
>>> doody I've been amassing over the past 5 months, I have added 5
>>> gallons of ethyl alcohol, 1 gallon of hydrogen peroxide, stirred it
>>> in, and sealed the barrel. In 24 hours, I will crack the top off,
>>> stir it all up again, and pour it into a 6 sand boxes set up in my
>>> garage. One window on the west side and one window on the east side
>>> of the garage will be opened, one industrial fan will be deployed
>>> blowing to the west, and we will begin filming the reactions of the
>>> passers by as the poopy smell competes with the odor of hamburgers
>>> and french fries from greasy spoons on the other side of the street.
>>>
>>> More to come, so stay tuned!
>>
>> Project Poo Bear
>> November 20, 2009
>>
>> (((WHEW!!!)))
>>
>> After 24 hours of fermenting in a sealed 55 gallon drum, the poopy
>> and aromatic catalyst additives are now baking in sunlight shining in
>> on 6 sandboxes filled with the doo doo mix. The fetid stench was so
>> awful we had to wear gas masks while pouring and once we turned on
>> the wind tunnel, people down wind immediately began puking on the
>> sidewalk. We hired a fat guy to stand on the corner and make fart
>> noises as people walked into the doody gas stream, the funniest
>> reaction yet was a little girl being held by her mother pointing at
>> him and starting to cry.
>>
>> Ladies & gents, this is the power of diabetic doo doo. The pungent
>> aroma has caused at least 3 dozen people to spontaneously throw up
>> with two folks exhibiting the ever elusive projectile vomit
>> demonstration we so sought after in college.
>>
>> The smell.... well, lets just say it was thicker than cheese and the
>> fast food joint across the street emptied OUT with customers running
>> in all directions.
>>
>> More to come, so stay tuned!
>
> Project Poo Bear
> November 21, 2009
>
> Those who have relentlessly followed my diabetic bowel movement blogs
> undoubtedly appreciate the sheer volume of food I can put away and
> consequently the massive volume of excrement I can produce but I take
> poo poo production to another level by consuming certain foodstuffs to
> make the smell as pungent as possible.
>
> Breathsavers breath mints have a sugar alcohol that just brings out
> the ripeness of any bowel movement as well as making me quite
> flatulent. The stench of the brown notes from my rear tuba have caused
> hard core exconvicts to flee in mortal awe.
>
> Beans, contrary to popular belief, do not cause smelly gas. The
> flatus produced by beans can be voluminous but is typically quite
> mundane so legumes should be used strictly as a volume producer, not
> an odor booster.
>
> Bran flakes, dried apricots, and those high fiber FiberOne bars when
> supplemented with ex-lax chocolates and breath savers breath mints
> produce some of the most noxious flatulence I have ever experienced
> and if I can't stand the stench of my own farts, what do you think the
> stink is gunna do to someone else?
>
> Leave them in elevators, leave them in closed rooms, unload into
> people's beds and couches and let them experience the dutch oven
> effect.
>
> Being a poo bear can be loads of fun!

Project Poo Bear
November 22, 2009

Wow, since opening up our poop chute wind tunnel to study the effects of
poopy smell on unsuspecting people, 3 "for sale" signs have popped up in
neighboring houses and a couple court summons have been thrown on the
front porch.

This proves that people hate the smell of other people's doody but are
hypocrites because they don't seem to get run off by their own noxious
emissions. Ah, well, the hilarity of watching people spontaneously
erupt into a violent fit of regurgitation when they hit our doody jet
stream has been too entertaining to pass up.

We have stirred another gallon of ethyl alcohol and pint of hydrogen
peroxide into each one of the six sand boxes filled with doo doo from
the 55 gallon drum. The peroxide aerosolizes the stench & the alcohol
gives it a pungent, sickly sweet odor that permeates and binds to
clothing and other porous materials so everyone getting fumed by Project
Poo Bear. This stench boosting technology will come in quite handy when
we globalize Project Poo Bear to help make the world at large have a
doodier stink for all the poo sniffers whose rights are being violated
by clean air kooks.

The fat guy we hired to make fart noises has been wearing a gas mask
even though he is a poo bear in his own right and once pooped his pants
in an elevator, trying to lay an air biscuit on the riders inside.

Stay tuned, more to come )