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Don Ocean

D A I S Y wrote:
> wrote:
>> Lemon Tarts
>> A few years ago I went to a Jehovah Witness funeral in Prince
>> Albert Saskatchewan, it was the funeral of a Jehovah Witness who shot
>> himself. The food was really good except for the lemon tarts. There
>> were several types of pies, lots and lots of cheese (and different
>> types of cheeses), there were beverages of assorted types, and there
>> was even fruit. I was overjoyed to find lemon tarts but my joy quickly
>> turned to sadness as these lemon tarts were the worst lemon tarts that
>> I ever tasted, they were not only bitter and sour, but they were
>> rubbery as well. But I did not let the lemon tarts spoil the funeral,
>> this JW funeral was one of the best funerals I ever attended as there
>> was a huge amount of food, and except for the lemon tarts, the food
>> was really good. And there were nubile sweeties at the funeral.
>> Generally you will find nubile sweeties in the greatest abundance when
>> the funeral is for a high school student. It doesn't matter if the
>> student was male or female, the nubile sweeties come out to the
>> funeral regardless of the sex of the deceased. That's the best kind of
>> funeral, A) when there is lots of food, B) when there are nubile
>> sweeties present in great abundance, and C) when the priest or pastor
>> says hilarious things that make you laugh, such as "Only God knows why
>> little Johnny died." But I know why little Johnny died, it's in the
>> Bible in Exodus 20:5 (the parents value traditions in place of God and
>> His Commandments, and God rewards their apostasy by the removal of
>> their children). And so, since nubile sweeties are found in greatest
>> abundance at the funerals of high school students, then it is the
>> funerals of high school students that make the very very best
>> funerals, especially if there is food. I just wish there was more and
>> better lemon tarts. And I've never found pumpkin pie at a funeral but
>> I would very much like to eat pumpkin pie at some poor slob's funeral.
>> I stuff my face (and my pockets) with all the good food and look at
>> all the pretty nubile sweeties and have the time of my life, but I
>> have to scratch my head and wonder why the fellow would shoot himself,
>> he's missing out on all the good food. There are interstink people to
>> talk to, there are pretty nubile sweeties to look at, there is good
>> food to eat, there are humorous preachers to listen to... but the
>> fellow isn't alive to partake in the festivities, he's missing out on
>> life!!! Maybe the Jehovah Witness was some kind of JW prophet, he knew
>> that the lemon tarts were to be no damn good, and so he shot himself.
>> That's what I think about JW's and anybody else who shoot themselves,
>> they are simply missing out on life. Perhaps if the JW women would
>> make better lemon tarts then the JW men would be less apt to shoot
>> themselves, I predict. The JW women are spending too much time on
>> street corners trying to flog their crappy magazines when they should
>> be at home learning how to make proper lemon tarts. In all fairness I
>> guess most people would shoot themselves if they knew ahead of time
>> that the lemon tarts at their funerals were to be bitter and rubbery,
>> it is not a problem that just plagues the Jehovah Witness community.
>> Anyway, I like pumpkin pie and I wish you people would inform me ahead
>> of time if there is goink to be pumpkin pie at your funerals. For
>> example, you can send me a letter saying that you intend to shoot
>> yourself because you are some sort of prophet who knows in advance
>> that the lemon tarts at your funeral are to be no damn good, but that
>> I should come anyway because there will be pumpkin pie, or some damn
>> thing
>> like that. -Daryl S. Kabatoff
>>
> sicko.....

He is off the net for life.. Merely abuse notice his ISP and the local
Canadian Police will incarcerate him back in the mental institute.