That was really funny!


"Dick Adams" > wrote in message
...
> osterage72 > wrote:
>
>> hello all! im wanting to make some form of alcohol.
>> whether it be wine/cider/beer/anything really! however
>> i dont really want to have to buy any equipment.
>> anyone got any strokes of genius they fancy passing
>> my way?
>
> Gawd, I love straight men!
>
> My original recipe for "Chateau Trailer Park" also known
> as "21st Century Ripple" will not work for someone too
> cheap to buy a 5 gallon pot and an airlock. So I have
> revised it to keep your costs down.
>
> First, the next time you are rummaging through your
> local dump, pick up several two liter soda bottles.
> It would be a good idea to wash them out with soap
> and water which you can get in most gas station
> rest rooms.
>
> You'll need a cup of sugar per bottle. Just fill
> a dry coffee cup with sugar at the soup kitchen.
> You can roll a napkin to use it as a funnel.
>
> The hard part is getting the proper yeast and that
> you'll have to pay for. But, sit near the entrance
> to a liquor store with a piece of paper saying
> "Need Money for Beer". Then go to your local homebrew
> store and buy a packet of Lalvin EC-1118 for every
> four 2-liter bottle you have collected.
>
> Now with the sugar in the bottle, fill the bottle
> with hot water and shake it until the sugar has
> dissolved. It's just like masturbating except it's
> a lot bigger and you'll need two hands.
>
> Try to do four bottles at a time so you don't have
> to save the excess yeast. Just lay the yeast on
> a pieces of paper and separate into four parts -
> just like you use to do when you had the money to
> buy hard drugs.
>
> Oh, I forgot when you're at the dump, get bottle
> caps too.
>
> Put the caps on the bottles and shake them up to
> the count of five. Then put them somewhere warm.
> Every day open the cap on each bottle enough to
> release the pressure, tighten the cap, and turn
> the bottle upside down to get the yeast on the
> bottom back into solution.
>
> Do this for ten days. After then when you don't
> hear any pressure released, you'll have 20 to
> 25 proof alcohol.
>
> My original recipe was posted in 2005 and nobody
> has reported going blind yet - well at least not
> in both eyes.
>
> Dick