1.** Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.*
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
*
** 2.** Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible.** In a
world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
*
** 3.** Men are very confident people.* My husband is so confident that
when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates
he can help his team.* If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players
from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get
off the phone in case they call him.
*
** 4.** All men are afraid of eyelash curlers.* I sleep with one under
my pillow, instead of a gun.
*
** 5.** A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner.* These men
usually have jobs and bathe.
*
** 6.** Men are sensitive in strange ways.* If a man has built a fire
and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
*
** 7.** Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man.* Men are like
portable heaters that snore.
*
** 8.** Women take clothing much more seriously than men.* I've never
seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed;
get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
*
** 9.** Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is
usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the
door.
*
** 10.* No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
*
** 11.* Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
*
** 12.* Men hate to lose.* I once beat my husband at tennis.* I asked
him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each
other."
*
** 13.* Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a
problem "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a
challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love
you* . . . I want to marry you . . I want to have your children."*
Sometimes they leave skid marks.
*
** 14.* Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with
super heroes.* Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
*
** 15.* Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause.* With
female menopause - you gain weight and get hot flashes.* Male menopause
- you get to date young girls, shave your head, get tattoos and drive
motorcycles.
*
** 16.* Men forget everything; women remember everything.* That's why
men need instant replays in sports.* They've already forgotten what
happened.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:

> 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> happened.


Om

Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.

Enjoyed them all!

Andy

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
>
> > 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> > men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> > happened.
>
>
> Om
>
> Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.

Scary thought. ;-)

>
> Enjoyed them all!
>
> Andy

Thanks!

Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
>
> > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> >
> > > 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> > > men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> > > happened.
> >
> >
> > Om
> >
> > Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.

>
> Scary thought. ;-)
>
> >
> > Enjoyed them all!
> >
> > Andy
>
> Thanks!
>
> Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
> archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.

> --
We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article >,
"Lefty" > wrote:

> "OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
> ...
> > In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
> >
> > > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > >
> > > > 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> > > > men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> > > > happened.
> > >
> > >
> > > Om
> > >
> > > Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the goldfish.
>
> >
> > Scary thought. ;-)
> >
> > >
> > > Enjoyed them all!
> > >
> > > Andy
> >
> > Thanks!
> >
> > Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
> > archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.
>
> > --
> We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
> archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
> Lefty

<snicker> Or ignore me.....
That's even worse.

It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
She hates to be ignored!
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

On Mon, 27 Mar 2006 11:35:24 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> wrote:

<snip>
>
>It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
>She hates to be ignored!

And it works? Mine always just screams louder. ;P

Regards,
Tracy R.

In article >,
says...
> >It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
> >She hates to be ignored!
>
> And it works? Mine always just screams louder. ;P
>
>
>

Try poaching. It works wonders.


--
Peter Aitken
Visit my recipe and kitchen myths pages at www.pgacon.com/cooking.htm

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> "Lefty" > wrote:
>
> > "OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
> > ...
> > > In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
> > >
> > > > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> > > > > men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> > > > > happened.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Om
> > > >
> > > > Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the
goldfish.
> >
> > >
> > > Scary thought. ;-)
> > >
> > > >
> > > > Enjoyed them all!
> > > >
> > > > Andy
> > >
> > > Thanks!
> > >
> > > Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
> > > archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.
> >
> > > --
> > We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
> > archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
> > Lefty
>
> <snicker> Or ignore me.....
> That's even worse.
>
> It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
> She hates to be ignored!
> --

Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad thing
even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where else
do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about something.
Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes. You're
providing a service here.
--
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article >,
"Lefty" > wrote:

> "OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
> ...
> > In article >,
> > "Lefty" > wrote:
> >
> > > "OmManiPadmeOmelet" > wrote in message
> > > ...
> > > > In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > 16. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why
> > > > > > men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what
> > > > > > happened.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Om
> > > > >
> > > > > Look at your goldfish, then look at your man, then back at the
> goldfish.
> > >
> > > >
> > > > Scary thought. ;-)
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Enjoyed them all!
> > > > >
> > > > > Andy
> > > >
> > > > Thanks!
> > > >
> > > > Been hesitant to post gender humor, even tho' I have more of it in the
> > > > archives..... Was not sure how well it'd be recieved.
> > >
> > > > --
> > > We all need to laugh at ourselves once in awhile. Please share those
> > > archives -- if we don't approve we'll just kill you :-)
> > > Lefty
> >
> > <snicker> Or ignore me.....
> > That's even worse.
> >
> > It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
> > She hates to be ignored!
> > --
>
> Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad thing
> even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where else
> do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about something.
> Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes. You're
> providing a service here.

I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson

> > >
> > > <snicker> Or ignore me.....
> > > That's even worse.
> > >
> > > It's how I "punish" my cockatoo for screaming.
> > > She hates to be ignored!
> > > --
> >
> > Don't we all. I really don't think on-the-edge-of-offensive is a bad
thing
> > even if people who don't like it do post their input about why --where
else
> > do some people get the chance in daily life to get fired up about
something.
> > Socially Redeeming Values, the paradox of Socially Degrading Jokes.
You're
> > providing a service here.
>
> I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
> It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
> humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
> --
It's like music. If it has style and significant form it doesn't matter
whether it is country or classic, it can be enjoyable on some level in some
context by most.

I think indifference would be the least desirable response if you seek
responses.

You seem to have a collection of edgy social-based jokes. Do you have a
source or do you really have "archives". I used to get the jokes making the
rounds
online until I asked to be taken off those SPAM-drawing lists.
--
Lefty

Life is for learning
The worst I ever had was wonderful

In article >,
"Lefty" > wrote:

> > I'll keep that in mind...... ;-)
> > It is interesting to see some people's reaction to certain brands of
> > humor. And examine what we laugh at and why.
> > --
> It's like music. If it has style and significant form it doesn't matter
> whether it is country or classic, it can be enjoyable on some level in some
> context by most.
>
> I think indifference would be the least desirable response if you seek
> responses.

The various reactions can be interesting... but I do try not to offend.

>
> You seem to have a collection of edgy social-based jokes. Do you have a
> source or do you really have "archives". I used to get the jokes making the
> rounds
> online until I asked to be taken off those SPAM-drawing lists.

Yes, I really do have a small personal archive!
I get a lot of jokes via e-mail (and the occasional one posted to
usenet) but I don't keep them all. Just the ones that actually make me
smile or laugh. :-)

And IMHO my sense of humor leans towards the cynical and ironic.
Or the obvious stereotypes from time to time...

I've been collecting e-mail humor since I first got on line back in 1998
I think it was?

> --
> Lefty
--
Peace, Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson