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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
We open with SLop dressed in mismatching red shirt and slacks on a sleigh
that just crashed into a tree with what appears to be asbestos snow on it. She tells us about her gift for the holidays, "time". I thought it was "indigestion". She introduces her recipes and announces it even comes with snow! Her Xmas comes with snow? SLop returns from commercial break with this extra wild-eyed look on her face and exclaims "Whoot! It's cold outside, baby!" I don't believe it for a second and now I know that wasn't asbestos snow, if you get my drift. She starts with the bourbon glaze. As usual, she warns us not to pour alcohol over an open flame. What open flame? She adds honey and molasses to add flavour and color to the glaze (and of course, sugar). She then adds orange marmalade and turns on the stove with a "Whoot!" She explains that the pieces of peel become candy and the glaze would be great on turkey too; As you recall, this is used when the turkey doesn't brown properly on Thanksgiving. She pulls out a "bonin'" ham and cuts pretty little diamonds into it. Luckily, she doesn't make them triangular this time. She makes the cuts 2 inches deep instead of just scoring it. We are to heat it in the oven so that it's cooked and free of bacteria that could make us sick. Imagine that. She sticks cloves into the intersections on the ham, making it vaguely resemble Pinhead the Cerebite. Is it me or is there an inordinate amount of fat on the bottom of that ham? She "literally" pours half the glaze over the ham, dislodging most of the cloves in the process. She next makes a candied ham souffle. Two large cans of yams are strained, but before she mashes them she makes a sugar con mixture to add the them. She tells us that instead of marshmallows she use marshmallow fluff, "the kind we put into our fudge". She then starts to mash the yams. How do her boobs rest on her elbows like that? SLop then begins to announce what else she's going to make but seems to forget just what it is she's going to make. We head out to commercial with a clip of her trying to carry a tree and walk at the same time. We see an ad for FN's Seasons Eatings marathon, but there seems to be no sign of SLop in it. Yay! Shortly after, we also see Ruth Reichel (Editor of Gourmet Magazine) denouncing SLop's culinary crimes. Well, actually, she's just shilling her magazine, which strikes me as an odd place to do it. We return from commercial break with the MV Yule-be-Sorry log (If it looks this bad when MV made it I cannot comprehend how craptastic SLop's will be!) and the candied yam faux-souffle. My gawd, there's gotta be three inches of fluff on that thing! She adds the butter mixture to the mashed yams because she's making candied yams souffle (since when has a souffle not contained eggs?) and mashes it together. "No more mashing needed!", she exclaims, then adds a little bit of cinnamon and spice ("or shall I say nutmeg?") and puts it into a baking dish. SLop then invites us to look at her Xmas window treatment that she made from 10 foot long remnants and says it looks a lot like Xmas in her kitchen. It looks a lot like "Ass-mass" to me. She spreads the yams into a pan and frosts it with marshmallow fluff instead of marshmallows because it "looks more professional" when the top is smoothed instead of bumpy, which is how you know they came from a package. She puts the yams into the oven and then opens the other oven to baste the ham when something odd happens. We see her hands opening the door and saying "and, I want to put a second" and it suddenly cuts to her opening the door and saying "Look at this! Isn't that gorgeous? I want to put a second layer of glaze onto the ham". Hmm, I wonder what happened? She then shares her best secret ever, making a faux yule log with a ho-ho of Biblical proportions. She takes a tub of whipped topping that entered some sort of culinary witness protection plan so its identity was blurred, but it's obviously Cool Whip and announces that in five minutes you'll have a yule log. No constipation jokes, please. She then grabs a knife and fork, but not to eat it, but to make it look like bark and to add spirals on the ends. At this point it looks like a huge sun-dried white dog turd. She dusts the log with coca powder and tells us how to dust the ends, by tipping the log but not letting it fall of the plate. Brilliant, SLop. She then makes mushrooms by toothpicking mini-marshmallows to Hershey chocolate kisses, but they look nothing like mushrooms. She then puts the log into the fridge, because after all, it IS whipped topping, and pulls out the ham from the oven and OMG! It looks like some sort of porcine blooming onion! She pulls out the yams but it looks like an unbaked pie of some sort. As we go to commercial, we see SLop outside falling over and trying to make a snow angel in two inches of snow. Idiot. We see another promo for FN's Season's Eating featuring a quick cut of SLop with her eyes bugging out over a humungous martini glass full of gawd-knows-what and walking stage left. SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the "Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it in, it appears to be curdled. She then adds nutmeg and some vanilla ice cream, reminding us to eliminate the booze if you make it for kids. She then pulses it in the blender and, miracle of miracles, she actually pulses it instead of leaving the blender run for 30 seconds. She prepares a nifty way to sugar the serving glasses by moistening her finger with brandy, rubbing it on the rim, and then dipping the glass into a "sugar glass". SLop announces she'll be drinking these while making the cookies for us (Whoot!) and garnishes the giant glasses with a candy cane. She then makes her candy cane cookies with sugar cookie dough from a Glad bag and food coloring. She blames this recipe on Colleen, her "friend". She separates the dough and uses an entire bottle of red food coloring on half to make sure it doesn't turn out pink. She announces what a fine color the dough is and the camera cuts to a wad of florescent blood-red dough. Yikes. She makes tubes of dough and "literally" braids them together and trims the ends so they all match. There's gotta be a better way to do that... In a not so strange sense of deja vu, SLop grabs a drink and the cookies and heads off to show us her tablescape. We fade to commercial with a clip of SLop failing to run and throw a snowball at the same time. We return from the break to SLop shilling some sort of ornament decorating kits consisting of glue letters and glitter. The camera cuts to her boobs and then pans to the lame ornaments. Heh. She makes X-mas cards from blanks and glues scrap booking embellishments onto them. She then suggests using clear l'eggs containers with little gifts inside which also double as Xmas ornaments, not-so-subtley suggesting a diamond ring to The Wallet and a dollar bill for her nephew, Scotty, who LOVES money. SLop says she has to run because her guests are about to arrive (ha!) and exits stage right. -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this 'treasure' again sometime this week. However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!! What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty, too. Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do. What's wrong with the store bought marshmallows? They look a sight better on sweet potatoes than than stuff she smeared on them. My first thought was flat meringue and she was going to use it anyway. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this 'treasure' again sometime this week. However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!! What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty, too. Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do. What's wrong with the store bought marshmallows? They look a sight better on sweet potatoes than than stuff she smeared on them. My first thought was flat meringue and she was going to use it anyway. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
"She makes the cuts 2 inches deep instead of
just scoring it". I only saw a few minutes of the show, but she didn't make the cuts in the ham 2 inches deep, she stated clearly that she was making the scoring 2 inches apart. "She sticks cloves into the intersections on the ham" No. She stuck the cloves into the center of the diamond cuts in the ham. You don't have to like her, but do you have to make up lies? "Thou shalt not bear false witness..." |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
On 27 Nov 2005 19:30:30 -0800, "itsjoannotjoann"
> wrote: > >I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment >completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this >'treasure' again sometime this week. > >However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was >until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!! >What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty, >too. > >Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked >smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do. What's >wrong with the store bought marshmallows? They look a sight better on >sweet potatoes than than stuff she smeared on them. My first thought >was flat meringue and she was going to use it anyway. I didn't see the episode, but she must have used a lot of it. My roommate's sister did our Thanksgiving dinner and she used it in her yams (she said she had it, it was open, so why not?) and if she hadn't told us, we never would have known. Her yams didn't even have white in them, just the usual sweet glaze. pepsi |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
WAHHH????
|
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
"itsjoannotjoann" > wrote in message oups.com... > > I saw just a few minutes of this Saturday afternoon, so I can't comment > completely on the whole show. Have no fear, FN will repeat this > 'treasure' again sometime this week. > > However, I did see that ham! At first I couldn't determine what it was > until she 'basted' it. I'ver never seen such DEEP cuts into a ham!! > What did that pig ever do to her? That ham looked extremely fatty, > too. > > Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked > smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do. What's > wrong with the store bought marshmallows? They look a sight better on > sweet potatoes than than stuff she smeared on them. My first thought > was flat meringue and she was going to use it anyway. GO HAM!!!!!! > |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
You've got some competition, Ubiquitous. This is funny. Well done,
Mackenzie. On Thu, 8 Dec 2005 15:44:16 -0500 (EST), mackenzie > wrote: >This ep was on the other morning. So many WTF moments. > >That ham was way more than five pounds. Come on. Not to mention the >disgustingly sweet glaze – the bourbon and honey/molasses (though I’d probably >go with a cup total) and a goodly amount of dry mustard would be a decent >glaze. You need a balance, I think. But then, I don’t have the sweet tooth that >Sandy has. Maybe she’s a junkie, the way she craves sweets. > >I have no words for the marshmallow fluff on the canned sweet potatoes. I >recognize that some people do the marshmallow on sweet potato thing, so this >might not seem so horrific in that context. But her insane burbling about how >“professional” this looks as opposed to the marshmallows out of the >package…yea, Sandy, I’m so sure that one bite and your “guests” won’t >immediately know that it’s jarred marshmallow fluff. Only Ina makes her own >marshmallows, and you, Bimbo, are no Ina. (ok, I guess I did have some words). > >The snow angel. Jesus Christ. > >When adding the candy cane to the eggnog-shake-with-brandy-and-amaretto >(yuck!!): “This will make them think it came right off of Santa’s Sleigh” only >if they’re tripping off all the effing nutmeg. (yes, I know, that’s an urban >legend etc. – but jaysus that’s a lot of nutmeg. In the sweet potato abortion, >as well). > >As far as the Yule log, I'm not even going THERE. > >When making the ridiculous cookies, spoken regarding the cream cheese: >“This makes it taste like it’s from scratch and has been sitting in your >frigerator [sic] for three hours.” Huh? > >It never ceases to amaze me how much time she’s willing to spend >fabricating/decorating desserts (like wrapping fondant around marshmallows, for >example) but can’t seem to pull it together to make a decent-tasting meal. It >is really not that hard. Honestly, if you’re going to color cookie dough and >roll and twist it into candy-cane shapes, can’t you chop some goddamn >garlic??!?!?! > >The ornament kits: is this something from her company? Is she pushing her QVC >crap on the show now? > >In article >, wrote: >> >>We open with SLop dressed in mismatching red shirt and slacks on a sleigh >>that just crashed into a tree with what appears to be asbestos snow on it. >>She tells us about her gift for the holidays, "time". I thought it was >>"indigestion". She introduces her recipes and announces it even comes with >>snow! Her Xmas comes with snow? >> >>SLop returns from commercial break with this extra wild-eyed look on her face >>and exclaims "Whoot! It's cold outside, baby!" I don't believe it for a >>second and now I know that wasn't asbestos snow, if you get my drift. >> >>She starts with the bourbon glaze. As usual, she warns us not to pour alcohol >>over an open flame. What open flame? She adds honey and molasses to add >flavour >>and color to the glaze (and of course, sugar). She then adds orange marmalade >>and turns on the stove with a "Whoot!" She explains that the pieces of peel >>become candy and the glaze would be great on turkey too; As you recall, this >>is used when the turkey doesn't brown properly on Thanksgiving. She pulls out >>a "bonin'" ham and cuts pretty little diamonds into it. Luckily, she doesn't >>make them triangular this time. She makes the cuts 2 inches deep instead of >>just scoring it. We are to heat it in the oven so that it's cooked and free >>of bacteria that could make us sick. Imagine that. She sticks cloves into >>the intersections on the ham, making it vaguely resemble Pinhead the Cerebite. >>Is it me or is there an inordinate amount of fat on the bottom of that ham? >>She "literally" pours half the glaze over the ham, dislodging most of the >>cloves in the process. >> >>She next makes a candied ham souffle. Two large cans of yams are strained, >>but before she mashes them she makes a sugar con mixture to add the them. She >>tells us that instead of marshmallows she use marshmallow fluff, "the kind >>we put into our fudge". She then starts to mash the yams. How do her boobs >>rest on her elbows like that? SLop then begins to announce what else she's >>going to make but seems to forget just what it is she's going to make. We >>head out to commercial with a clip of her trying to carry a tree and walk >>at the same time. >> >>We see an ad for FN's Seasons Eatings marathon, but there seems to be no >>sign of SLop in it. Yay! Shortly after, we also see Ruth Reichel (Editor >>of Gourmet Magazine) denouncing SLop's culinary crimes. Well, actually, >>she's just shilling her magazine, which strikes me as an odd place to do it. >> >>We return from commercial break with the MV Yule-be-Sorry log (If it looks >>this bad when MV made it I cannot comprehend how craptastic SLop's will be!) >>and the candied yam faux-souffle. My gawd, there's gotta be three inches of >>fluff on that thing! She adds the butter mixture to the mashed yams because >>she's making candied yams souffle (since when has a souffle not contained >>eggs?) and mashes it together. "No more mashing needed!", she exclaims, then >>adds a little bit of cinnamon and spice ("or shall I say nutmeg?") and puts it >>into a baking dish. SLop then invites us to look at her Xmas window treatment >>that she made from 10 foot long remnants and says it looks a lot like Xmas in >>her kitchen. It looks >>a lot like "Ass-mass" to me. She spreads the yams into a pan and frosts it >>with marshmallow fluff instead of marshmallows because it "looks more >>professional" when the top is smoothed instead of bumpy, which is how you >>know they came from a package. She puts the yams into the oven and then opens >>the other oven to baste the ham when something odd happens. We see her hands >>opening the door and saying "and, I want to put a second" and it suddenly >>cuts to her opening the door and saying "Look at this! Isn't that gorgeous? >>I want to put a second layer of glaze onto the ham". Hmm, I wonder what >>happened? >> >>She then shares her best secret ever, making a faux yule log with a ho-ho >>of Biblical proportions. She takes a tub of whipped topping that entered >>some sort of culinary witness protection plan so its identity was blurred, >>but it's obviously Cool Whip and announces that in five minutes you'll have a >>yule log. No constipation jokes, please. She then grabs a knife >>and fork, but not to eat it, but to make it look like bark and to add spirals >>on the ends. At this point it looks like a huge sun-dried white dog turd. She >>dusts >>the log with coca powder and tells us how to dust the ends, by tipping the log >>but not letting it fall of the plate. Brilliant, SLop. She then makes >mushrooms >>by toothpicking mini-marshmallows to Hershey chocolate kisses, but they look >>nothing like mushrooms. She then puts the log into the fridge, because after >>all, it IS whipped topping, and pulls out the ham from the oven and OMG! It >>looks like some sort of porcine blooming onion! She pulls out the yams but it >>looks like an unbaked pie of some sort. As we go to commercial, we see SLop >>outside falling over and trying to make a snow angel in two inches of snow. >>Idiot. >> >>We see another promo for FN's Season's Eating featuring a quick cut of SLop >>with her eyes bugging out over a humungous martini glass full of >>gawd-knows-what and walking stage left. >> >>SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and >>cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the >>"Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup >>of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not >>eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it in, >>it appears to be curdled. She then adds nutmeg and some vanilla ice cream, >>reminding us to eliminate the booze if you make it for kids. She then pulses >>it in the blender and, miracle of miracles, she actually pulses it instead >>of leaving the blender run for 30 seconds. She prepares a nifty way to sugar >>the >>serving glasses by moistening her finger with brandy, rubbing it on the rim, >>and then dipping the glass into a "sugar glass". SLop announces she'll be >>drinking these while making the cookies for us (Whoot!) and garnishes the >>giant glasses with a candy cane. She then makes her candy cane cookies with >>sugar cookie dough from a Glad bag and food coloring. She blames this recipe >>on Colleen, her "friend". She separates the dough and uses an entire bottle of >>red food coloring on half to make sure it doesn't turn out pink. She announces >>what a fine color the dough is and the camera cuts to a wad of florescent >>blood-red dough. Yikes. She makes tubes of dough and "literally" braids them >>together and trims the ends so they all match. There's gotta be a better >>way to do that... In a not so strange sense of deja vu, SLop grabs a drink >>and the cookies and heads off to show us her tablescape. We fade to commercial >>with a clip of SLop failing to run and throw a snowball at the same time. >> >>We return from the break to SLop shilling some sort of ornament decorating >>kits consisting of glue letters and glitter. The camera cuts to her boobs >>and then pans to the lame ornaments. Heh. She makes X-mas cards from blanks >>and glues scrap booking embellishments onto them. She then suggests using >>clear l'eggs containers with little gifts inside which also double as Xmas >>ornaments, not-so-subtley suggesting a diamond ring to The Wallet and a dollar >>bill for her nephew, Scotty, who LOVES money. SLop says she has to run because >>her guests are about to arrive (ha!) and exits stage right. >> >>-- >>WARNING!!! >>Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, >>standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We >>assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the >>"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure >>where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
This show does not even belong on Food TV. It should be on the comedy
channel. The first episode that I tried to watch,she made a big deal of OPENING a package of some crap,BEFORE you add it to whatever...I thought the package would taste better than whatever she was trying to'cook' |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
bobemeril wrote: > This show does not even belong on Food TV. It should be on the comedy > channel. > The first episode that I tried to watch,she made a big deal of OPENING > a package of some crap,BEFORE you add it to whatever...I thought the > package would taste better than whatever she was trying to'cook' > I wouldn't mind seeing the characters of 'Absolutely Fabulous' done as a Food Network TV show. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
You were not seeing things. That daffy b---- did dump in lumpy non-dairy
creamer ---- and then DRANK IT!!! I almost choked on my soda when I saw that. At least it was funny, if not gross. Lisa :-) > wrote in message news:73-8$$$vz$9o6@d25vnikaqx... > In article >, wrote: > >>SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and >>cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the >>"Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup >>of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not >>eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it >>in, >>it appears to be curdled. > > And TWO BOTTLES of it! I love me my Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer, > but two > tablespoons in my coffee is enough to leave me not wanting to add any more > sugar. But anyway-can someone tell me if I imagined this: When she poured > out > the first bottle into the blender, did it appear to anyone else that the > creamer had curdled and a giant white phlegm-y thing plopped into the > booze > that was already in the blender? I swear I saw that-but then again, maybe > I was > just expecting it. > |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
I'm...I'm...was she actually using a menorah as part of her "holiday" decorations? A fully
lighted one? To illuminate *ham*? (And, yeah, even *I* could tell that was a seriously ugly piece of meat. You guys do remove the fat, right?) That's right up there with the faux Buddha. Sandra, it's not nice to use things from other people's religions just as decorations. Really. >We open with SLop dressed in mismatching red shirt and slacks on a sleigh >that just crashed into a tree with what appears to be asbestos snow on it. >She tells us about her gift for the holidays, "time". I thought it was >"indigestion". She introduces her recipes and announces it even comes with >snow! Her Xmas comes with snow? > >SLop returns from commercial break with this extra wild-eyed look on her face >and exclaims "Whoot! It's cold outside, baby!" I don't believe it for a >second and now I know that wasn't asbestos snow, if you get my drift. > >She starts with the bourbon glaze. As usual, she warns us not to pour alcohol >over an open flame. What open flame? She adds honey and molasses to add flavour >and color to the glaze (and of course, sugar). She then adds orange marmalade >and turns on the stove with a "Whoot!" She explains that the pieces of peel >become candy and the glaze would be great on turkey too; As you recall, this >is used when the turkey doesn't brown properly on Thanksgiving. She pulls out >a "bonin'" ham and cuts pretty little diamonds into it. Luckily, she doesn't >make them triangular this time. She makes the cuts 2 inches deep instead of >just scoring it. We are to heat it in the oven so that it's cooked and free >of bacteria that could make us sick. Imagine that. She sticks cloves into >the intersections on the ham, making it vaguely resemble Pinhead the Cerebite. >Is it me or is there an inordinate amount of fat on the bottom of that ham? >She "literally" pours half the glaze over the ham, dislodging most of the >cloves in the process. > >She next makes a candied ham souffle. Two large cans of yams are strained, >but before she mashes them she makes a sugar con mixture to add the them. She >tells us that instead of marshmallows she use marshmallow fluff, "the kind >we put into our fudge". She then starts to mash the yams. How do her boobs >rest on her elbows like that? SLop then begins to announce what else she's >going to make but seems to forget just what it is she's going to make. We >head out to commercial with a clip of her trying to carry a tree and walk >at the same time. > >We see an ad for FN's Seasons Eatings marathon, but there seems to be no >sign of SLop in it. Yay! Shortly after, we also see Ruth Reichel (Editor >of Gourmet Magazine) denouncing SLop's culinary crimes. Well, actually, >she's just shilling her magazine, which strikes me as an odd place to do it. > >We return from commercial break with the MV Yule-be-Sorry log (If it looks >this bad when MV made it I cannot comprehend how craptastic SLop's will be!) >and the candied yam faux-souffle. My gawd, there's gotta be three inches of >fluff on that thing! She adds the butter mixture to the mashed yams because >she's making candied yams souffle (since when has a souffle not contained >eggs?) and mashes it together. "No more mashing needed!", she exclaims, then >adds a little bit of cinnamon and spice ("or shall I say nutmeg?") and puts it >into a baking dish. SLop then invites us to look at her Xmas window treatment >that she made from 10 foot long remnants and says it looks a lot like Xmas in >her kitchen. It looks >a lot like "Ass-mass" to me. She spreads the yams into a pan and frosts it >with marshmallow fluff instead of marshmallows because it "looks more >professional" when the top is smoothed instead of bumpy, which is how you >know they came from a package. She puts the yams into the oven and then opens >the other oven to baste the ham when something odd happens. We see her hands >opening the door and saying "and, I want to put a second" and it suddenly >cuts to her opening the door and saying "Look at this! Isn't that gorgeous? >I want to put a second layer of glaze onto the ham". Hmm, I wonder what >happened? > >She then shares her best secret ever, making a faux yule log with a ho-ho >of Biblical proportions. She takes a tub of whipped topping that entered >some sort of culinary witness protection plan so its identity was blurred, >but it's obviously Cool Whip and announces that in five minutes you'll have a >yule log. No constipation jokes, please. She then grabs a knife >and fork, but not to eat it, but to make it look like bark and to add spirals >on the ends. At this point it looks like a huge sun-dried white dog turd. She >dusts >the log with coca powder and tells us how to dust the ends, by tipping the log >but not letting it fall of the plate. Brilliant, SLop. She then makes mushrooms >by toothpicking mini-marshmallows to Hershey chocolate kisses, but they look >nothing like mushrooms. She then puts the log into the fridge, because after >all, it IS whipped topping, and pulls out the ham from the oven and OMG! It >looks like some sort of porcine blooming onion! She pulls out the yams but it >looks like an unbaked pie of some sort. As we go to commercial, we see SLop >outside falling over and trying to make a snow angel in two inches of snow. >Idiot. > >We see another promo for FN's Season's Eating featuring a quick cut of SLop >with her eyes bugging out over a humungous martini glass full of >gawd-knows-what and walking stage left. > >SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and >cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the >"Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup >of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not >eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it in, >it appears to be curdled. She then adds nutmeg and some vanilla ice cream, >reminding us to eliminate the booze if you make it for kids. She then pulses >it in the blender and, miracle of miracles, she actually pulses it instead >of leaving the blender run for 30 seconds. She prepares a nifty way to sugar >the >serving glasses by moistening her finger with brandy, rubbing it on the rim, >and then dipping the glass into a "sugar glass". SLop announces she'll be >drinking these while making the cookies for us (Whoot!) and garnishes the >giant glasses with a candy cane. She then makes her candy cane cookies with >sugar cookie dough from a Glad bag and food coloring. She blames this recipe >on Colleen, her "friend". She separates the dough and uses an entire bottle of >red food coloring on half to make sure it doesn't turn out pink. She announces >what a fine color the dough is and the camera cuts to a wad of florescent >blood-red dough. Yikes. She makes tubes of dough and "literally" braids them >together and trims the ends so they all match. There's gotta be a better >way to do that... In a not so strange sense of deja vu, SLop grabs a drink >and the cookies and heads off to show us her tablescape. We fade to commercial >with a clip of SLop failing to run and throw a snowball at the same time. > >We return from the break to SLop shilling some sort of ornament decorating >kits consisting of glue letters and glitter. The camera cuts to her boobs >and then pans to the lame ornaments. Heh. She makes X-mas cards from blanks >and glues scrap booking embellishments onto them. She then suggests using >clear l'eggs containers with little gifts inside which also double as Xmas >ornaments, not-so-subtley suggesting a diamond ring to The Wallet and a dollar >bill for her nephew, Scotty, who LOVES money. SLop says she has to run because >her guests are about to arrive (ha!) and exits stage right. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
In article <73-8$$$vz$9o6@d25vnikaqx>, wrote:
>In article >, wrote: > >>SLop returns to tell us that no holiday is complete without cookies and >>cocktails, which is a good thing because someone forgot to put up the >>"Cocktail Time!" graphic, then procedes to make a "Santa Slay" with a cup >>of brandy, a cup of Ameretto and two cups of eggnog, except that's not >>eggnog; it's a container of eggnog-flavored coffemate! When she dumps it in, >>it appears to be curdled. > >And TWO BOTTLES of it! I love me my Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer, but two >tablespoons in my coffee is enough to leave me not wanting to add any more >sugar. But anyway—can someone tell me if I imagined this: When she poured out >the first bottle into the blender, did it appear to anyone else that the >creamer had curdled and a giant white phlegm-y thing plopped into the booze >that was already in the blender? I swear I saw that—but then again, maybe I was >just expecting it. Not to defend and all that, but I have always wondered if maybe that really WAS eggnog, put in a nonlabelled container that just happened to be an old Coffeemate container. I don't know why they wouldn't have just done a CoolWhip-style pixelation, though. We shall never know but sometimes I find myself giving her the benefit of the doubt. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
We caught some of her Xmas special. We were laughing hysterically at her
roast. First she puts it in a flimsy disposable foil pan (and not on a rack) that she has to put in a regular baking pan. What has she accomplished there? Why not put it in the regular pan in the first place, with out without tinfoil? Then she cooks it at moderately low heat for an hour, turns OFF the oven, and leaves it sitting in the oven for 2 hours! Unless her oven has amazing insulation, the whole thing has got to be down to room temperature by now. Then using hot gloves she doesn't need, she takes it out and sets it on the counter, uncovered, TO REST. It's BEEN resting for quite some time lady. And now she's definitely serving room temperature roast. -- You Can't Stop the Signal SERENITY on DVD December 20th http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000BW7QWW |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
Apparently you didn't see the part where she cut the poor ham.She ran
the full width of the blade[nearly 2 inches, into the ham.] Then she put the cloves in the intersections. When she pulled it from the oven,it didn't even look like a ham. Near the end of the show,what you saw was a totally different ham,with shallow cuts,and the cloves in the center of the diamonds as they should be.Not the one,she botched in front of the camera. And I only watched this show to see what these NGers were talking about.This woman couldn't cook a hotdog without screwing it up.Keep an eye out for this episode to repeat,you'll see that nobody is lying about this!!! |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
Ubiquitous wrote:
> wrote: > > >>GO HAM!!!!!! > > > I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table. > She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
On Sun, 18 Dec 2005 19:59:12 -0500, Goomba38 >
wrote: > Ubiquitous wrote: > > > wrote: > > > >>GO HAM!!!!!! > > > > I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table. > > > She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god. <sarcasm> Well, you can't expect her and her make-believe guests to eat the ham in the DARK, can you? </sarcasm> Doesn't anyone review anything from that show prior to airing? That was a gigantic don't-you-ever-do-that-again moment. Carol |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
> Doesn't anyone review anything from that show prior to airing? That > was a gigantic don't-you-ever-do-that-again moment. > > Carol That describes about 75% of her show, actually. Goomba |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
On Sun, 18 Dec 2005 20:10:03 -0500, Goomba38 >
wrote: > Damsel in dis Dress wrote: > > > Doesn't anyone review anything from that show prior to airing? That > > was a gigantic don't-you-ever-do-that-again moment. > > That describes about 75% of her show, actually. Good point. Carry on. Carol |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
She's on the cover of the current issue of "Woman's World" magazine,
offering some handy tips for quick holiday meals and gifts.... |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
"Goomba38" > wrote > Ubiquitous wrote: >> I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table. >> > She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god. (laugh) Lucky she didn't score it with the Star of David instead of those diamonds. Decorative and different! nancy |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
wrote:
>>She makes the cuts 2 inches deep instead of just scoring it". > >I only saw a few minutes of the show, but she didn't make the cuts in >the ham 2 inches deep, she stated clearly that she was making the >scoring 2 inches apart. > >>She sticks cloves into the intersections on the ham" > >No. She stuck the cloves into the center of the diamond cuts in the >ham. Obviously you did not watch the show. >You don't have to like her, but do you have to make up lies? > >"Thou shalt not bear false witness..." It's called "soap", Miss Peel. http://www.tv.com/little-house-on-th...pisode/63956/s ummary.html -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
Ubiquitous wrote:
> I don't imagine hot marshmallow fluff tasting > very good... *grabs notepad* Hot marshmallow fluff is VERY good. Especially with chocolate and walnuts. Bob |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
In article >,
wrote: >Ubiquitous wrote: >> wrote: >>>GO HAM!!!!!! >> >> I just _loved_ how she put a menorah next to the ham on that table. > >She didn't... tell me you're fibbin'? Please? Oh god. One of many... Once she made a "Hannuka cake" by stuffing marshmallows in the center and covering it over with baby blue tinted canned frosting. She once refered to a buddah statue she used in her tablescape as "My Buddah; She's Faux". Etc. -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
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Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Yule Be Sorry
On Sun, 18 Dec 2005 18:52:19 -0600, (Ubiquitous)
wrote: >In article >, >wrote: >>On 27 Nov 2005 19:30:30 -0800, "itsjoannotjoann" > wrote: > >>>Also, that sweet potato pie or whatever it was she was making looked >>>smushed down and like nothing I've ever seen *anybody* do. What's >>>wrong with the store bought marshmallows? They look a sight better on >>>sweet potatoes than than stuff she smeared on them. My first thought >>>was flat meringue and she was going to use it anyway. >> >>I didn't see the episode, but she must have used a lot of it. My >>roommate's sister did our Thanksgiving dinner and she used it in her >>yams (she said she had it, it was open, so why not?) and if she hadn't >>told us, we never would have known. Her yams didn't even have white >>in them, just the usual sweet glaze. > >Ooohhh, how did it taste? I don't imagine hot marshmallow fluff tasting >very good... *grabs notepad* It was very good, but like I said, she didn't use a jar full of the stuff. It tasted even more subtle than the common version with marshmallows. pepsi |
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