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Ubiquitous
 
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Default Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Cooking with(out) Kids

SLop and Miss Stephany walk into the pantry with their arms full of stuff.
Oh gawd, SLop's gotten poor Miss Stephany talking about imaginary friends now.
SLop passes off a couple rolls of wrapping paper to MS and sends her to the
dinning room. OMG, she's not going to use the wrapping paper for a tablescape,
is she? SLop blabs some more about cooking food so that kids will eat it.
Only when YOU'RE doing the cooking, SLop. Anyhow, SLop gushes about how she's
going to decorate with all sorts of paper goods (including the wrapping
paper?). We cut away to the othe room and -- Good gawd, it looks like a paper
factory exploded!

SLop explains that she makes pillow dogs so she can stuff more hot dogs into
MS and thus trick her into eating more? Huh?

SLop explains further that kids don't eat much. Only when you're cooking,
bitch.

SLop cooks the mini dogs but manages to scorch them. Meanwhile, she is doing
some crazy ass stuff with shredded cheese in a bowl and the tiny pieces of
biscuit dough (I find it hard to believe they're going to puff up enough to
look like the ones MV made). We cut back to the pan and she's BURNING them!
Seriously, lookit the smoke!

SLop mentions that you can put the doug-dog into the freezer. They'll last
for yup to literally a month but will take longer to cook. Golly.

Hmm, where's Stephanie?

Kiddie cocktail time! SLop describes it as a "take on punch but with juice".
Huh?

Gah! We got a cleavage shot when she bent over to stir the punch! That shirt
has a way too deep hemline for her, umm, build.

SLop AGAIN tells us that she has to do special things to amke the kids eat!
Bwah!

SLop tells us that kids LOVE fishstix and she loves fried coconut fish, so
she's going to make something like that but with a flavour kids like (remember,
kids don't eat much so you have to trick them into eating).Her solution? Wheat
Chex cereal (but rice or corn works too).

SLop's "tip": Mix the flour and seasoning thoroughly so you get flavouring
evenly throughout.

SLop cuts up the halibut and then starts channeling Jesus, stating that the
smaller the pices she makes, the more fish they will eat.

What's with her obsession about making kids eat, and where the hell is MS?

Slop's "tip": Make sure you have something on the plate to soak up the grease
from the fish after it's finished frying.

Meanwhile, MS's been relegated to the dining room, papering the table. SLop
tells us her favorite treat are those ice cream cone things. Huh? I am
guessing that before DQ got on her ass MS's favorite treat were SLop's
Blizzards.

SLop procedes to work on the cupcake cake. Hey, it looks exactly like that
link to Gourmet someone posted last week. SLop asks "What makes cake taste
good?" and answers "The icing!!". Hmm, why is she mixing the frosting with
a spatula?

Hurray! MS is out of exile! MS looks on at the cakes anxiously as SLop talks
down to her. She's not a retard, SLop! SLop then adds marshmallow flavouring
to another tub of vanilla frosting and gushes about other extracts: Licorise,
bubblegum, root beer. SLop eggs on MS to load the frosting heavily on the
muffins. Yeah, that's the best part. SLop then ices the cake, but why is she
doing the top when she's going to dump a bunch of cupcakes onto it?

MS suggests putting sprinkles on the cupcakes so they match the cake. SLop
then tells her to go steal from from the ice cream vendor stall down the
road.

SLop tells us to hide the uglier cupcakes at the back side of the cake. This
is a round cake...

MS explains to us how to make her favorite treat, namely coating the tops of
ice cream cones with melted chocloate and stuffing candy into it. SLop seems
to have trouble applying the chocolate. SLop gushes "Pixie stix are my favs
and so are suckers!". Hee.

Time for MS and her imaginary friends' party! Just. Damn. There is far too
much decorations going on here. SLop asks MS "Wanna know how I made these?",
to which I am sure I hear a weak "Nnnyes".

Whoo!


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in
your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no
liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being
exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up
either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.


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Default Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee: Cooking with(out) Kids

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