Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can, I
thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I learned
that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO, canned
asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
flavor are all "unnatural".

I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local ranch
market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than pencil thin
green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an obscene 6 pounds
of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it either lightly
steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with olive oil, both with a
spritz of lemon juice here and there.

I was paging through an old Bon Appetit this evening and came across the
following recipe of which I made half for dinner. It was reallyi
delicious!

Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon

2 pounds asparagus stalks, washed and trimmed
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
Coarse kosher salt
Coarsely ground black pepper
1 (3 1/2- to 4-ounce) log soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel

Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and crisp.
Transfer to paper towels and drain. Crumble bacon; set aside.

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 500 degrees F. Arrange
asparagus on large rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons olive
oil and turn asparagus to coat well. Sprinkle generously with salt and
pepper. Roast asparagus until crisp-tender when pierced with knife, about 7
minutes.

Remove from heat and arrange asparagus in single layer on platter. Sprinkle
with goat cheese, then bacon. Drizzle with lemon juice and remaining 2
teaspoons oil. Sprinkle grated lemon peel over. (Can be prepared 1 hour
ahead. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature.)

Makes 6 servings.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can, I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO, canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local ranch
> market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than pencil thin
> green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an obscene 6 pounds
> of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it either lightly
> steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with olive oil, both with a
> spritz of lemon juice here and there.
>
> I was paging through an old Bon Appetit this evening and came across the
> following recipe of which I made half for dinner. It was reallyi
> delicious!
>
> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon
>
> 2 pounds asparagus stalks, washed and trimmed
> 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
> Coarse kosher salt
> Coarsely ground black pepper
> 1 (3 1/2- to 4-ounce) log soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled
> 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
> 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
>
> Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and crisp.
> Transfer to paper towels and drain. Crumble bacon; set aside.
>
> Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 500 degrees F. Arrange
> asparagus on large rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons olive
> oil and turn asparagus to coat well. Sprinkle generously with salt and
> pepper. Roast asparagus until crisp-tender when pierced with knife, about 7
> minutes.
>
> Remove from heat and arrange asparagus in single layer on platter. Sprinkle
> with goat cheese, then bacon. Drizzle with lemon juice and remaining 2
> teaspoons oil. Sprinkle grated lemon peel over. (Can be prepared 1 hour
> ahead. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature.)
>
> Makes 6 servings.
>

Ye have not been cursed to be on cruise liner!

--

Wayne Boatwright wrote:

> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can, I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO, canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local ranch
> market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than pencil thin
> green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an obscene 6 pounds
> of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it either lightly
> steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with olive oil, both with a
> spritz of lemon juice here and there.
> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon
> (clipped dandy recipe)

My gal pal used my Foodsaver and processed up 30# of sparrowgrass this spring.
I still got lots of my "rent" in the freezer. Y'all ever had asparagus pickles?
The tarragon, dill, and basil flavors are all good. Oregano is too strong tho.
Edrena

On Wed 24 Aug 2005 09:39:19p, gkm wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>> When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it
>> again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available.
>> Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>

>
> Ye have not been cursed to be on cruise liner!
>

LOL! Thank God!

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
> canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local ranch
> market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than pencil thin
> green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an obscene 6
> pounds
> of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it either lightly
> steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with olive oil, both with
> a
> spritz of lemon juice here and there.
>
> I was paging through an old Bon Appetit this evening and came across the
> following recipe of which I made half for dinner. It was reallyi
> delicious!
>
> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon
>
> 2 pounds asparagus stalks, washed and trimmed
> 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
> Coarse kosher salt
> Coarsely ground black pepper
> 1 (3 1/2- to 4-ounce) log soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled
> 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
> 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
>
> Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and crisp.
> Transfer to paper towels and drain. Crumble bacon; set aside.
>
> Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 500 degrees F. Arrange
> asparagus on large rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons olive
> oil and turn asparagus to coat well. Sprinkle generously with salt and
> pepper. Roast asparagus until crisp-tender when pierced with knife, about
> 7
> minutes.
>
> Remove from heat and arrange asparagus in single layer on platter.
> Sprinkle
> with goat cheese, then bacon. Drizzle with lemon juice and remaining 2
> teaspoons oil. Sprinkle grated lemon peel over. (Can be prepared 1 hour
> ahead. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature.)
>
> Makes 6 servings.
>
> --
> Wayne Boatwright *¿*
> ____________________________________________
>
> My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
> unless there are three other people.

I first tasted this awful stuff when I was a youngie...hated it, and didn't
want to taste the fresh stuff for years, because I thought it might be
similar!

Since tasting the fresh stuff, I can't get enough of it! (and lucky you
Wayne for being able to get it so cheaply...here, I've only seen it
available in bunches (about 10 med stalks) for about $2 each, and I've seen
it go up to even $5 in the off season :-(

On Wed 24 Aug 2005 09:55:49p, The Joneses wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>> When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it
>> again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available.
>> Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
>> I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local
>> ranch market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than
>> pencil thin green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an
>> obscene 6 pounds of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it
>> either lightly steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with
>> olive oil, both with a spritz of lemon juice here and there.
>> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon (clipped dandy recipe)
>
> My gal pal used my Foodsaver and processed up 30# of sparrowgrass this
> spring. I still got lots of my "rent" in the freezer. Y'all ever had
> asparagus pickles? The tarragon, dill, and basil flavors are all good.
> Oregano is too strong tho. Edrena

I don't have a Foodsaver, but I have frozen asparagus before and it's next
best to fresh. I just blanch and put in ziploc freezer bags.

I LOVE pickled asparagus, although I've never made it before. I buy a jar
every so often, and usually end up eating the whole jar's worth in 1 or 2
sittings! :-) What I usually find commercially is dill, sometimes with
garlic.

Hey, those pickle wings are neat!

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

On Wed 24 Aug 2005 10:57:03p, MG wrote in rec.food.cooking:

>
> "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I
>> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
>> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available.
>> Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
>> I absolutely love fresh asparagus, any variety, any size. Our local
>> ranch market currently has large purple asparagus and smaller than
>> pencil thin green asparagus, both for 99 cents per pound. I bought an
>> obscene 6 pounds of it, 3 of each type, and have been eating most of it
>> either lightly steamed with a bit of butter or grilled quickly with
>> olive oil, both with a spritz of lemon juice here and there.
>>
>> I was paging through an old Bon Appetit this evening and came across
>> the following recipe of which I made half for dinner. It was reallyi
>> delicious!
>>
>> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon
>>
>> 2 pounds asparagus stalks, washed and trimmed
>> 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
>> Coarse kosher salt
>> Coarsely ground black pepper
>> 1 (3 1/2- to 4-ounce) log soft fresh goat cheese, crumbled
>> 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
>> 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel
>>
>> Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and
>> crisp. Transfer to paper towels and drain. Crumble bacon; set aside.
>>
>> Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 500 degrees F. Arrange
>> asparagus on large rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons
>> olive oil and turn asparagus to coat well. Sprinkle generously with
>> salt and pepper. Roast asparagus until crisp-tender when pierced with
>> knife, about 7 minutes.
>>
>> Remove from heat and arrange asparagus in single layer on platter.
>> Sprinkle
>> with goat cheese, then bacon. Drizzle with lemon juice and remaining 2
>> teaspoons oil. Sprinkle grated lemon peel over. (Can be prepared 1 hour
>> ahead. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature.)
>>
>> Makes 6 servings.
>>
>> --
>> Wayne Boatwright *¿*
>> ____________________________________________
>>
>> My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four, unless
>> there are three other people.
>
> I first tasted this awful stuff when I was a youngie...hated it, and
> didn't want to taste the fresh stuff for years, because I thought it
> might be similar!
>
> Since tasting the fresh stuff, I can't get enough of it! (and lucky you
> Wayne for being able to get it so cheaply...here, I've only seen it
> available in bunches (about 10 med stalks) for about $2 each, and I've
> seen it go up to even $5 in the off season :-(

I was lucky at that price, although the ranch market is always cheaper.
The supermarkets here has them currently priced at $3.99/lb. and sometimes
as high as $4.99/lb. SM sales prices are never below $1.99/lb.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking

> I was lucky at that price, although the ranch market is always
> cheaper. The supermarkets here has them currently priced at
> $3.99/lb. and sometimes as high as $4.99/lb. SM sales prices are
> never below $1.99/lb.
>
>

Yes it is wonderful...but howmuch bacon?


--
The eyes are the mirrors....
But the ears...Ah the ears.
The ears keep the hat up.

On Wed 24 Aug 2005 11:29:09p, Mr Libido Incognito wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Roasted Asparagus with Goat Cheese and Bacon
>

Oops, sorry! 6 bacon slices

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

On Wed 24 Aug 2005 11:55:57p, Mr Libido Incognito wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking
>
>> I was lucky at that price, although the ranch market is always
>> cheaper. The supermarkets here has them currently priced at
>> $3.99/lb. and sometimes as high as $4.99/lb. SM sales prices are
>> never below $1.99/lb.
>>
>>
>
> Yes it is wonderful...but howmuch bacon?
>
>

Sorry... 6 slices

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking

> On Wed 24 Aug 2005 11:55:57p, Mr Libido Incognito wrote in
> rec.food.cooking:
>
> > Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking
> >
> >> I was lucky at that price, although the ranch market is always
> >> cheaper. The supermarkets here has them currently priced at
> >> $3.99/lb. and sometimes as high as $4.99/lb. SM sales prices are
> >> never below $1.99/lb.
> >>
> >>
> >
> > Yes it is wonderful...but howmuch bacon?
> >
> >
>
> Sorry... 6 slices
>

Thanks (both times)

--
The eyes are the mirrors....
But the ears...Ah the ears.
The ears keep the hat up.

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff?

No. The liquid that it is in looks like, smells like (and possibly tastes
like) ****. For many years I wouldn't touch asparagus until I tried the
fresh stuff, now I buy it at every opportunity when it is in season.

One of my books says that when cooking asparagus under no circumstances
leave it sitting in the water that it was cooked in - which is exactly what
happens when it is canned. Seems like good advice.

David

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can, I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO, canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".
>

Asparagus is my favorite veggie. I will even eat it canned.

The only problem I have ever had was a lot which apparently came from
Mexico or something and very definitely had been treated with manure or
human waste as fertilizer - smelled more like human waste to me. It
stunk so badly when I was washing it I had to throw it away.

Other than that, I could eat the stuff every day, every meal. It's one
of my favorite foods.

-L.

-L. wrote:
> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>> When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought
>> it again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods
>> available. Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
>
> Asparagus is my favorite veggie. I will even eat it canned.
>
> The only problem I have ever had was a lot which apparently came from
> Mexico or something and very definitely had been treated with manure
> or human waste as fertilizer - smelled more like human waste to me.
> It
> stunk so badly when I was washing it I had to throw it away.
>
> Other than that, I could eat the stuff every day, every meal. It's
> one
> of my favorite foods.
>
> -L.

I'll buy the canned if I get desperate for asparagus (a.k.a., a craving that
just won't quit). When I was at the store last weekend I looked at the
asparagus. $2.99 for a very small bunch of pencil-thin green aparagus
looking like it had seen better days. I passed.

Jill

Wayne wrote about canned asparagus:

> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color,
> texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".

A couple years ago, a friend of mine boasted, "I dare anyone to bring me a
random bag of groceries, I'll whip out something creative in an hour or less
with what is there (with the exception of something that needs long slow
cooking of course). I don't care what is in it, I'll make it work."

My grocery list was:

Canned asparagus
Deli macaroni salad
Cool Whip
Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
Spam

(What would any of YOU make?)

Bob

Bob wrote:
> Wayne wrote about canned asparagus:
>
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>> When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought
>> it again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods
>> available. Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> A couple years ago, a friend of mine boasted, "I dare anyone to bring
> me a random bag of groceries, I'll whip out something creative in an
> hour or less with what is there (with the exception of something that
> needs long slow cooking of course). I don't care what is in it, I'll
> make it work."
>
> My grocery list was:
>
> Canned asparagus
> Deli macaroni salad
> Cool Whip
> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
> Spam
>
> (What would any of YOU make?)
>
> Bob

Dinner reservations!

Jill

"Bob" wrote ...
> A couple years ago, a friend of mine boasted, "I dare anyone to bring me a
> random bag of groceries, I'll whip out something creative in an hour or
> less
> with what is there (with the exception of something that needs long slow
> cooking of course). I don't care what is in it, I'll make it work."
>
> My grocery list was:
>
> Canned asparagus
> Deli macaroni salad
> Cool Whip
> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
> Spam
>
> (What would any of YOU make?)
>
> Bob

My question is, what s/he make?

Pam

Pam asked:

>> My grocery list was:
>>
>> Canned asparagus
>> Deli macaroni salad
>> Cool Whip
>> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
>> Spam
>>
>> (What would any of YOU make?)
>>
>> Bob
>
> My question is, what s/he make?
>
> Pam

Spam-and-asparagus crepes

Tomato-cucumber relish (tomatoes, cucumber, Thai basil, nuoc cham, chiles)
--served with grilled shrimp glazed with cane syrup and chili

Tart Dijonnaise (tart shell, Dijon mustard, sliced tomatoes, and cheese)

The dressing was rinsed off the macaroni salad. Fresh vegetables, olives,
and capers were added, and the resultant salad was dressed with a mixture of
mayonnaise, puréed red bell pepper, some white wine vinegar, a spoonful of
honey and some fresh tarragon. The salad was served in scooped-out tomatoes.

Lemon bars: Graham cracker crust, cream cheese mixed with lemon zest and
sugar, topped with Cool Whip, frozen, and cut into bars


Since I wouldn't throw out a challenge that I wouldn't take myself, I put
together a menu, though I never had an opportunity to actually make it.
Here's what I came up with:

I'd proceed differently with the spam and asparagus: Since the asparagus is
unavoidably mushy anyway, I'd go ahead and purée it, mix it with eggs,
melted butter, and milk, and make asparagus-and-Spam chawanmushi. (A
chawanmushi is the Japanese version of a quiche. An egg mixture is put into
a bowl along with other flavoring ingredients and the bowl is steamed.)
Normally, chawanmushi is made with dashi (miso stock), but in this case I'm
going to be putting cubes of Spam into the bowl to flavor it; dashi would
make the dish too salty so milk is used instead. I'd flavor the
egg-asparagus mixture with a bit of lemon juice, lemon zest, and white
pepper (thus mirroring the flavors of asparagus with hollandaise sauce).
The Spam would be cut into cubes about an inch-and-a-half tall, and a cube
would be placed into the bottom of each small bowl. The egg mixture would
be poured over the Spam and a few ringlets of chopped scallion would be
floated on top. Then the bowls would be steamed until the mixture is just
firm.

The tomatoes' flavor is going to be extremely muted because of their
going-to-market treatment. That's why I consider it essential to cook them,
it helps to concentrate what flavor they have. To that end, I'd make
something called "chalsa," which is a relish falling somewhere in between a
salsa and a tomato chutney: Onions are sliced, then some of the sliced
onions are chopped and set aside. The sliced onions are sautéed with
mustard seeds until the seeds begin to pop. The tomatoes are peeled
(dropping them into boiling water for a few seconds makes the skins slip
right off) and coarsely chopped. The tomatoes are added to the onions along
with a minced jalapeño, sugar, and salt. This mixture is cooked for a few
minutes, then removed from the heat and put into a bowl. Lime juice,
chopped cilantro, and the reserved chopped onion are added.

The macaroni salad presents me with the greatest challenge; it is both
undesirably bland and heavy. So rather than trying to keep it as a pasta
salad, I'd make Chicken Divan with it. Broccoli is blanched and chopped,
then tossed with the macaroni salad. A chicken breast or two (depending on
how much macaroni salad there is) is chopped. quickly sautéed, and added to
the macaroni-broccoli mixture. Chicken stock, white wine, lemon juice,
shredded Gruyere cheese, and a pinch of nutmeg are added (note that I did
*not* rinse off the mayonnaise like my friend did; it serves as an essential
binder in this dish). The mixture is put into a baking dish, sprinkled with
more shredded cheese, and baked until the cheese melts and the casserole is
heated through.

The Cool Whip would be used to make a Strawberry Margarita Pie. A pie shell
is made from pretzels, similarly to the way a graham cracker crust gets
made. The filling is a mixture of Cool Whip, lime juice, puréed
strawberries, sliced strawberries, and Gran Marnier.


Bob

Bob wrote:
> Pam asked:
>
>>> My grocery list was:
>>>
>>> Canned asparagus
>>> Deli macaroni salad
>>> Cool Whip
>>> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
>>> Spam
>>>
>>> (What would any of YOU make?)
>>>
>>> Bob
>>
>> My question is, what s/he make?
>>
>> Pam
>
> Spam-and-asparagus crepes
>
> Tomato-cucumber relish (tomatoes, cucumber, Thai basil, nuoc cham,
> chiles) --served with grilled shrimp glazed with cane syrup and chili
>
> Tart Dijonnaise (tart shell, Dijon mustard, sliced tomatoes, and
> cheese)
>
> The dressing was rinsed off the macaroni salad. Fresh vegetables,
> olives, and capers were added, and the resultant salad was dressed
> with a mixture of mayonnaise, puréed red bell pepper, some white
> wine vinegar, a spoonful of honey and some fresh tarragon. The salad
> was served in scooped-out tomatoes.
>
> Lemon bars: Graham cracker crust, cream cheese mixed with lemon zest
> and sugar, topped with Cool Whip, frozen, and cut into bars
>
>
> Since I wouldn't throw out a challenge that I wouldn't take myself, I
> put together a menu, though I never had an opportunity to actually
> make it. Here's what I came up with:
>
> I'd proceed differently with the spam and asparagus: Since the
> asparagus is unavoidably mushy anyway, I'd go ahead and purée it, mix
> it with eggs, melted butter, and milk, and make asparagus-and-Spam
> chawanmushi. (A chawanmushi is the Japanese version of a quiche. An
> egg mixture is put into a bowl along with other flavoring ingredients
> and the bowl is steamed.) Normally, chawanmushi is made with dashi
> (miso stock), but in this case I'm going to be putting cubes of Spam
> into the bowl to flavor it; dashi would make the dish too salty so
> milk is used instead. I'd flavor the egg-asparagus mixture with a
> bit of lemon juice, lemon zest, and white pepper (thus mirroring the
> flavors of asparagus with hollandaise sauce). The Spam would be cut
> into cubes about an inch-and-a-half tall, and a cube would be placed
> into the bottom of each small bowl. The egg mixture would be poured
> over the Spam and a few ringlets of chopped scallion would be floated
> on top. Then the bowls would be steamed until the mixture is just
> firm.
>
> The tomatoes' flavor is going to be extremely muted because of their
> going-to-market treatment. That's why I consider it essential to
> cook them, it helps to concentrate what flavor they have. To that
> end, I'd make something called "chalsa," which is a relish falling
> somewhere in between a salsa and a tomato chutney: Onions are
> sliced, then some of the sliced onions are chopped and set aside.
> The sliced onions are sautéed with mustard seeds until the seeds
> begin to pop. The tomatoes are peeled (dropping them into boiling
> water for a few seconds makes the skins slip right off) and coarsely
> chopped. The tomatoes are added to the onions along with a minced
> jalapeño, sugar, and salt. This mixture is cooked for a few minutes,
> then removed from the heat and put into a bowl. Lime juice, chopped
> cilantro, and the reserved chopped onion are added.
>
> The macaroni salad presents me with the greatest challenge; it is both
> undesirably bland and heavy. So rather than trying to keep it as a
> pasta salad, I'd make Chicken Divan with it. Broccoli is blanched
> and chopped, then tossed with the macaroni salad. A chicken breast
> or two (depending on how much macaroni salad there is) is chopped.
> quickly sautéed, and added to the macaroni-broccoli mixture. Chicken
> stock, white wine, lemon juice, shredded Gruyere cheese, and a pinch
> of nutmeg are added (note that I did *not* rinse off the mayonnaise
> like my friend did; it serves as an essential binder in this dish).
> The mixture is put into a baking dish, sprinkled with more shredded
> cheese, and baked until the cheese melts and the casserole is heated
> through.
>
> The Cool Whip would be used to make a Strawberry Margarita Pie. A
> pie shell is made from pretzels, similarly to the way a graham
> cracker crust gets made. The filling is a mixture of Cool Whip, lime
> juice, puréed strawberries, sliced strawberries, and Gran Marnier.
>
>
> Bob

Uh.... but Bob, you didn't have even half those ingredients in your grocery
bags. You must be counting things your friend already had on hand, such as
ingredients to prepare crepes, cucumbers, tart shells, Dijon mustard, lemons
for zesting... you're cheating!

Jill

Bob wrote:
> Wayne wrote about canned asparagus:
>
> > Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> > I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> > learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
> > IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color,
> > texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> A couple years ago, a friend of mine boasted, "I dare anyone to bring me a
> random bag of groceries, I'll whip out something creative in an hour or less
> with what is there (with the exception of something that needs long slow
> cooking of course). I don't care what is in it, I'll make it work."
>
> My grocery list was:
>
> Canned asparagus
> Deli macaroni salad
> Cool Whip
> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
> Spam
>
> (What would any of YOU make?)

Blend drained asparagus with cool whip (reserve big blob cool whip),
toss with mac salad and diced spam, heap on bed of thinly sliced
tomatoes, garnish with reserved cool whip, voila... Green Guido
Ambrosia aka Dago Delight (hey, it's red, green white... the dago flag.
Can also toss with fettucinni... ala Pandago.

Sheldon

Jill wrote:

> Uh.... but Bob, you didn't have even half those ingredients in your
> grocery bags. You must be counting things your friend already had on
> hand, such as ingredients to prepare crepes, cucumbers, tart shells,
> Dijon mustard, lemons for zesting... you're cheating!

My fault; I didn't include the entire text of the initial challenge. (And
the tart shell was made from scratch.) Here's what was originally written:


================================================== ======================

> After I clean up my kitchen tomorrow so I have room to work, I dare anyone
> to bring me a random bag of groceries, I'll whip out something creative in
> an hour or less with what is there (with the exception of something that
> needs long slow cooking of course). I don't care what is in it, I'll make
> it work.

Deli macaroni salad
Cool Whip
Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
Spam
Canned asparagus

"Do you accept the challenge?"

What would you make? (I'll reveal my menu once others have chimed in.
Remember that you're not LIMITED to those ingredients, but your other
ingredients must be items that might reasonably be expected in your pantry.)

================================================== ======================

Bob

Sheldon wrote:

> Blend drained asparagus with cool whip (reserve big blob cool whip),
> toss with mac salad and diced spam, heap on bed of thinly sliced
> tomatoes, garnish with reserved cool whip

Thanks for submitting your effort. Doesn't this belong in one of those
"semi-homemade" threads?

Bob

On Thu 25 Aug 2005 12:25:13a, Mr Libido Incognito wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

> Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking
>
>> On Wed 24 Aug 2005 11:55:57p, Mr Libido Incognito wrote in
>> rec.food.cooking:
>>
>> > Wayne Boatwright wrote on 25 Aug 2005 in rec.food.cooking
>> >
>> >> I was lucky at that price, although the ranch market is always
>> >> cheaper. The supermarkets here has them currently priced at
>> >> $3.99/lb. and sometimes as high as $4.99/lb. SM sales prices are
>> >> never below $1.99/lb.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >
>> > Yes it is wonderful...but howmuch bacon?
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Sorry... 6 slices
>>
>
> Thanks (both times)
>

You doubly welcome.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

Wayne wrote about canned asparagus:

> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color,
> texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".

That's when you knew it was a big holiday at my house growing up,
mashed turnips and canned asparagus. Yikes.

nancy

In article >,
"Bob" > wrote:

> Canned asparagus
> Deli macaroni salad
> Cool Whip
> Supermarket tomatoes (the hard-but-red-because-of-ethylene kind)
> Spam
>
> (What would any of YOU make?)

A casserole salad, of course.

Regards,
Ranee

Remove do not & spam to e-mail me.

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13

http://arabianknits.blogspot.com/
http://talesfromthekitchen.blogspot.com/

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
> canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".

Wayne, I bought a six-pack, I believe it was, at Costco. You are right, it
was foul, but I didn't give up; I tried using two cans by making an
asparagus soup -- I wasted the cream/milk/butter ingredients; it was really
awful.
Dee Dee

On Thu 25 Aug 2005 10:25:42a, Dee Randall wrote in rec.food.cooking:

>
> "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I
>> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
>> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available.
>> Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> Wayne, I bought a six-pack, I believe it was, at Costco. You are right,
> it was foul, but I didn't give up; I tried using two cans by making an
> asparagus soup -- I wasted the cream/milk/butter ingredients; it was
> really awful.
> Dee Dee

What a waste, Dee. I'm glad I only bought one. Frozen asparagus makes a
good soup, however.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

>
>
>>
>>
>>>Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>>>can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>>>When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought
>>>it again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods
>>>available. Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>>
>>>
>> snip
>
Totally agree! I've still got 2 cans of Kroger (Fred Meyers) canned
asparagus that is taking up shelf space. Hate to thow anything out but
that stuff is gross. Wonder if I let it ferment it would help? :-P

On Thu 25 Aug 2005 12:07:25p, Jim Davis wrote in rec.food.cooking:

>>
>>
>>>
>>>
>>>>Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>>>>can, I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out.
>>>>When I learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought
>>>>it again. IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods
>>>>available. Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>>>
>>>>
>>> snip
>>
> Totally agree! I've still got 2 cans of Kroger (Fred Meyers) canned
> asparagus that is taking up shelf space. Hate to thow anything out but
> that stuff is gross. Wonder if I let it ferment it would help? :-P
>

LOL! It would hurt it!

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four,
unless there are three other people.

You may be, as I am one of the "lucky" few who can smell that smell. I
suppose overprocessing can release the chemical also ...
http://www.discovery.com/area/skinny...5/skinny1.html

"Seamus" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> You may be, as I am one of the "lucky" few who can smell that smell. I
> suppose overprocessing can release the chemical also ...
> http://www.discovery.com/area/skinny...5/skinny1.html

I've heard that asparagus is good for your bladder. However, it sends me in
hurried fashion to the room of rest for about 3-5 days. The only other
thing that does that is good for you, too -- green tea.

I've often wondered if it is the processing (say, sulfites, or whatever, to
keep it fresh); but I would bet it's not.
Dee Dee

"-L." > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
>> I
>> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>> learned
>> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
>> canned
>> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
>> flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
>
> Asparagus is my favorite veggie. I will even eat it canned.
>
> The only problem I have ever had was a lot which apparently came from
> Mexico or something and very definitely had been treated with manure or
> human waste as fertilizer - smelled more like human waste to me. It
> stunk so badly when I was washing it I had to throw it away.
>

I've oft wondered if our bodies have created anti-bodies to the human-waste
fertilizer that we are not being exposed to from foods from China and Mexico
(although I'm not sure about Mexico's use of human waste - but assume that's
why people get the trots in Mexico.)
Dee

"Nancy Young" > wrote in message
...
> Wayne wrote about canned asparagus:
>
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
>> I thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
>> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color,
>> texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>
> That's when you knew it was a big holiday at my house growing up,
> mashed turnips and canned asparagus. Yikes.
>
> nancy
However, mashed turnips -- yum, yum!!
Dee Dee

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> On Thu 25 Aug 2005 10:25:42a, Dee Randall wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
>>
>> "Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>>> can, I
>>> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>>> learned that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again.
>>> IMHO, canned asparagus is one of the most vile foods available.
>>> Color, texture, and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
>> Wayne, I bought a six-pack, I believe it was, at Costco. You are right,
>> it was foul, but I didn't give up; I tried using two cans by making an
>> asparagus soup -- I wasted the cream/milk/butter ingredients; it was
>> really awful.
>> Dee Dee
>
> What a waste, Dee. I'm glad I only bought one. Frozen asparagus makes a
> good soup, however.
>
> --
> Wayne Boatwright *¿*

Thanks Wayne, I'll put that on my list to make when I need a good soup. I'd
never thought of that. Maybe eaten in small amounts won't make me pee so
much -- tee hee. I can't help but gobble fresh asparagus.
Dee Dee
Dee Dee

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
...
> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
> canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".



I have mentioned this before but I always like sympathy, my husband will
only eat canned asparagus and it must be slathered with mayonaise. So I
feel a little guilty but when I buy fresh for me I get some canned for him.
When I have fish he gets fishsticks. The only lettice he likes is iceberg. I
finally figured out that he likes 1950 school cafeteria type food.

Wayne Boatwright wrote:

> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a can,
> I
> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
> learned
> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
> canned
> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture, and
> flavor are all "unnatural".
>
[snippage]

Years ago, before I was married, my roommate brought home a can of
asparagus. I still think it may have been the all-time worst thing I've
ever tasted.

Fortunately I already loved fresh asparagus, otherwise that canned stuff
would have turned me off asparagus for life!

---jkb

--
"Ooh, dumber than advertised!"
-- Yakko Warner

>Does anyone actually eat this stuff?

I presume so....since it's still on shelves. I like it cold myself.
But like canned artichokes, it tastes nothing like the fresh.

>Goat Cheese

Now why ruin some lovely asparagus with *that* stuff. ;-)

Jeff Bienstadt wrote:
> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>
>> Does anyone actually eat this stuff? The first time I ever opened a
>> can, I
>> thought the contents were already spoiled and threw it out. When I
>> learned
>> that it was supposed to be that way, I never bought it again. IMHO,
>> canned
>> asparagus is one of the most vile foods available. Color, texture,
>> and flavor are all "unnatural".
>>
> [snippage]
>
> Years ago, before I was married, my roommate brought home a can of
> asparagus. I still think it may have been the all-time worst thing
> I've ever tasted.
>
> Fortunately I already loved fresh asparagus, otherwise that canned
> stuff would have turned me off asparagus for life!
>
> ---jkb

What's funny about this thread is my middle brother would *never* eat
asparagus until he tasted the canned. (I think his ex-wife forced him to eat
it! j/k) From there he graduated to fresh asparagus to the point of
announcing when he was steaming fresh asparagus and making <gasp>
Hollandaise sauce. And *I* was called the picky eater in the family...
sheesh!

Jill

I would make for the nearest restaurant.

Actually, I really like canned asparagus. The few times I've had
fresh, it has been tough and woody.