My brother and I are planning a 50th wedding anniversary party for our
parents. Among the first things we have to decide is whether to have it
at his house with a rented tent and tables in the backyard or whether to
have it in a hotel or restaurant. Any preliminary ideas on which would
be less expensive for a comparable party, having the caterer come to the
house or having the guests go to a hotel? I want some idea before I hit
the yellow pages.


--Lia

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> Any preliminary ideas on which would
> be less expensive for a comparable party, having the caterer come to the
> house or having the guests go to a hotel? I want some idea before I hit
> the yellow pages.

Based on what I learned while planning my wedding, it's really going to
depend on who you call and what you want. You could spend just as much
on both. You can get inexpensive tasy local restaurant catering like
barbeque, or you can have some high priced chef and catering service
come out and get all Martha Stewart on your house.

Is price your main concern for this party? Or is something else
involved, like seating space at the house, or desire to not have to
clean up, or wanting to use a favorite restaurant menu?



Dawn

Dawn wrote:

> Is price your main concern for this party? Or is something else
> involved, like seating space at the house, or desire to not have to
> clean up, or wanting to use a favorite restaurant menu?


That's a good question. We're not arguing over price, quite the
contrary. We've both said we can pay for more than half. I think my
brother and I are using price because we don't have much else to base
our decisions on. We know that I like smaller parties best, but our
parents like big affairs. We know we want to appear generous and
entertain in style, but we also know the guests will mostly be in their
70s and 80s, which would mean less food, less energetic dancing, little
or no alcohol, earlier in the day rather than later. On the other hand,
the guests might not want to be treated like old folks. They might want
the appearance of youth and energy. I see more advantages in
entertaining at a hotel. My brother likes the idea of using his house.
We're both agreeable. Neither of us has any real experience. With
all that in mind, I thought I'd look into price to see if that swayed us
one way or the other.


--Lia

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:jA5Zb.13960$4o.33970@attbi_s52...

> We know we want to appear generous and
> entertain in style, but we also know the guests will mostly be in their
> 70s and 80s, which would mean less food, less energetic dancing, little
> or no alcohol, earlier in the day rather than later. On the other hand,
> the guests might not want to be treated like old folks. They might want
> the appearance of youth and energy.

AAARGH! Depends on the "old folks"! My children gave me a 75th birthday
party, catered at my home. The guests were, for the most part, of
"retirement age" but the range was from 6 months to 84 years. It was the
best damned party I've ever had! Never underestimate us oldies, especially
when we're surrounded by youngies.

Recommendation: a good caterer, in their home if space permits. I'm sure
they would enjoy selecting their favorite foods and having all their friends
in their own familiar surroundings.

Felice

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> We're both agreeable. Neither of us has any real experience. With all
> that in mind, I thought I'd look into price to see if that swayed us one
> way or the other.
>

Well then I would suggest picking a date and calling a couple of hotels,
clubs and caterers and telling them how many people you expect and ask
them to suggest something. Some of them very likely have information
packets or can schedule a meeting with you to discuss options. You may
also be able to sample their food and determine if it is something your
family will like.

After a couple "interviews" with potential caterers you'll have clearer
choices to pick from.



Dawn

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> That's a good question. We're not arguing over price, quite the
> contrary. We've both said we can pay for more than half. I think my
> brother and I are using price because we don't have much else to base
> our decisions on. We know that I like smaller parties best, but our
> parents like big affairs. We know we want to appear generous and
> entertain in style, but we also know the guests will mostly be in their
> 70s and 80s, which would mean less food, less energetic dancing, little
> or no alcohol, earlier in the day rather than later. On the other hand,
> the guests might not want to be treated like old folks. They might want
> the appearance of youth and energy. I see more advantages in
> entertaining at a hotel. My brother likes the idea of using his house.
> We're both agreeable. Neither of us has any real experience. With
> all that in mind, I thought I'd look into price to see if that swayed us
> one way or the other.

Here's what I'm thinking. A tent in the yard? How are the people
going to handle walking through the grass? Once they've done that,
what are the bathroom facilities going to be? More trekking across
the lawn to get to the house to use the bathroom?

I recently hosted a small luncheon for not such a happy occasion,
and even having the bathrooms on different floors was a problem for
some of the people who attended. All I'm saying is, consider the
logistics when inviting people who are aged.

My personal opinion is that you parents might be proud that you
rented a room for them (laughing, that sounds bad), but I mean to
look good in front of their friends. But I'm not them, I had other
people in mind when I thought that. If it's going to be at home, I
really can't see holding it in a tent. Just my you know what.

nancy

>From: Nancy Young

>Here's what I'm thinking. A tent in the yard? How are the people
>going to handle walking through the grass? Once they've done that,
>what are the bathroom facilities going to be? More trekking across
>the lawn to get to the house to use the bathroom?
>
>I recently hosted a small luncheon for not such a happy occasion,
>and even having the bathrooms on different floors was a problem for
>some of the people who attended. All I'm saying is, consider the
>logistics when inviting people who are aged.
>
>My personal opinion is that you parents might be proud that you
>rented a room for them (laughing, that sounds bad), but I mean to
>look good in front of their friends. But I'm not them, I had other
>people in mind when I thought that. If it's going to be at home, I
>really can't see holding it in a tent. Just my you know what.
>
>nancy

Nancy is spot on! Logistics are very important and she was sooo right about the
restroom facilities. Weather is a concern in having a backyard affair, even if
there is a tent. Parking, another concern. Bugs, hey, depending on where you
live, this can be a VERY big concern. Decorating and rentals are another added
expense that need to be taken in consideration.

Under these circumstances, I think a lovely hotel reception at 2:00 pm with
lots of yummy appetizers and canapes - so people can eat heavy or light -
champagne, punch, coffee and tea would be very nice. If you can afford it, a
great swing band or even an orchestra would be awesome.We have a restaurant
right down the street from us that does big band music on Wednesdays and even
the yungins are dancing to the Oldies with their parents and grandparents.

As an aside. I was 16 when I went to my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary
at a Hotel. It was one of the most memorable experiences of my young life. I
had caviar (cheap stuff but I liked it), wore a new dress that I thought looked
great on me and had a good time hanging out with my cousins, so I guess what
I'm saying is bring all the kids, have a huge family portrait done - even video
tape the event, and make some wonderful memories.

Ellen

In article <jA5Zb.13960$4o.33970@attbi_s52>, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:

> Dawn wrote:
>
> > Is price your main concern for this party? Or is something else
> > involved, like seating space at the house, or desire to not have to
> > clean up, or wanting to use a favorite restaurant menu?

> We know we want to appear generous and
> entertain in style, but we also know the guests will mostly be in their
> 70s and 80s, which would mean less food, less energetic dancing, little
> or no alcohol, earlier in the day rather than later. On the other hand,
> the guests might not want to be treated like old folks.
> --Lia

Unless you have estate-like lawns and gardens with uniformed servers,
hotel speaks to me as more lavish and stylish. JMO.
--
-Barb, <www.jamlady.eboard.com> updated 2-10-04.

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:Eh4Zb.13607$4o.34230@attbi_s52...
> My brother and I are planning a 50th wedding anniversary party for our
> parents. Among the first things we have to decide is whether to have it
> at his house with a rented tent and tables in the backyard or whether to
> have it in a hotel or restaurant. Any preliminary ideas on which would
> be less expensive for a comparable party, having the caterer come to the
> house or having the guests go to a hotel? I want some idea before I hit
> the yellow pages.
>
>
> --Lia
>

I don't think you can generalize - one or the other may be more expensive
depending on a host of factors. Don't forget restaurants - many have private
rooms that are perfect for this kind of thing.


--
Peter Aitken

Remove the crap from my email address before using.

"Peter Aitken" > wrote in
. com:

> "Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
> news:Eh4Zb.13607$4o.34230@attbi_s52...
>> My brother and I are planning a 50th wedding anniversary party for
>> our parents. Among the first things we have to decide is whether to
>> have it at his house with a rented tent and tables in the backyard or
>> whether to have it in a hotel or restaurant. Any preliminary ideas
>> on which would be less expensive for a comparable party, having the
>> caterer come to the house or having the guests go to a hotel? I want
>> some idea before I hit the yellow pages.
>>
>>
>> --Lia
>>
>
> I don't think you can generalize - one or the other may be more
> expensive depending on a host of factors. Don't forget restaurants -
> many have private rooms that are perfect for this kind of thing.
>
>

Don't you first need a ball park on the number of people and the different
types of plates...diabetic, lo sodium, vegen etc. I'm not sure that a home
catered dealie could handle all of those. A hotel can also provide rooms
for out of towners and a person to help you plan. They also offer several
meal deals...chicken, beef plates etc...

--
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food
and water.
--------
FIELDS, W. C.

Julia Altshuler > wrote in message
news:Eh4Zb.13607$4o.34230@attbi_s52...
> My brother and I are planning a 50th wedding anniversary party
> for our parents. [..] I want some idea before I hit the yellow
> pages.

Set up your budget, first. Once you place the numbers down on paper, you'll
have a better idea of how many guests you can invite, where you'll be able
to throw the event, what time of day, and all those other account-draining
decisions.

From personal experience, I would recommend staying away from hotels. It's
easy to sink large sums of money into an event of this type on room rental
alone. Some hotels will also not allow outside catering, only providing
exclusive lists of over-priced catering services. These same hotels do not
allow private* catering.

Check into VFW or Elk Lodges, community centers, and municipal parks. Some
churches (and synagogues) also have facilities that they're willing to lease
out for events of this nature. These have their own problems (alcohol
limitations, fer example.)

It all ties directly into how much you want to spend and where you're
willing to sink the largest portion of the budget.

* This is where everyone brings a dish, potluck style.

The Ranger