My Dear Mother's old family southron cucumber recipe is the best...!!!


http://jackinworld.com/interact/jack...gina-simulator

"Cucumber/Zucchini Vagina Simulator

The best way I have found to simulate the silky soft, wet, and most important, warm feeling of a vagina is this method: Buy a cucumber or a zucchini that is at least an inch and a half wider than your penis, and an inch longer. Boil it as if you were about to eat it, until it is soft, but not falling apart. Use a butter knife to carve out the inside to the size of your penis. Be careful not to make it too big or you have wasted your time. Insert your penis into this little organic device to be sure the size is right, and adjust accordingly. CAUTION: Boiling water is very hot, so check the temperature before inserting your penis, otherwise you may get burned. The tricky part is that you want to have the vegetable hot enough so that it's still warm when you start humping it. You can put it under a pillow or between cushions. This feels exactly like a real vagina €“ and I say exactly.. Not for the non-devoted, because it takes preparation and time.



Perfecting The Cuke/Zuke Simulator
READER TIP:

[Regarding the Cucumber/Zucchini Vagina Simulator]: Rather then boil the cuke, run it under hot water after you've carved it out with a fruit baller or circular potato peeler. The internal depth can be adjusted by inserting the end of a screwdriver handle or broom-handle-shaped object. Be sure to poke at least two small holes (with a turkey tie or straight nail) right at the end of the cuke, and make sure the nail did, in fact, pierce the internal tunnel. (Don't leave the nail in!) You can check by blowing into the cuke; you don't want air pressure to be able to build up. This will ensure the proper suction and make the insertion and thrusting go very nice. Next, wrap the simulator in a small towel and place it under the sofa cushion to hold in place at the desired height. You can use a small container of warm water, placed nearby, to rejuvenate the lube and keep the interior of the cuke wet while you're having fun. The more moisture applied, the more wet, sucking sounds you will have. You can get an awful lot of pleasure from a 50-cent cucumber €“ and when you're done, you can rinse it out with hot water and place it in a ZipLoc bag, with the air forced out before sealing, and keep it in the fridge for another couple of uses..."