The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Sun, 6 Dec 2009 11:09:36 -0800 (PST), maxine in ri
> wrote:

>My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
>the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
>and desserts.
>
>Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
>candied walnuts and gougeres.
>
>We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
>second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
>said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
>salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
>appetizer."
>
>She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
>to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
>gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>
>She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>
>If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
>guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
>offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
>share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
>ego.
>
>What would _you_ have done?
>
>fuming in ri

I can't say for sure how I'd handle it without knowing the
relationships. No matter what I'd be quite ****ed.

I like these threads because it makes me realize I'm not the only one
who runs into rude people.

A few years ago a friend was turning 50. His daughter was throwing a
surprise party and his wife was somewhat involved in the planning.
The wife asked me to make Italian beef so her family would have
something to eat as she wasn't sure how they were going to like all
the Puerto Rican food. I arrived early to get everything set up in
the commercial chaffing pan and cut the bread etc. The daughter acted
like she was surprised and said she had heard something about
sandwiches but nothing so elaborate. This is Chicago and everyone
here knows how Italian beef is served at parties. She said the only
place to put my generous almost 10 pounds of beef was in the basement
on the bar. All the other catered foil pans were served upstairs and
most people ate there too while the beef was downstairs. It wasn't
even a wet bar and it was a pain in the ass to set up. I had to get
water for the pan from a bathroom sink with a bowl and had no access
to a microwave to bring the juice to temperature.

Later the party moved downstairs for gift opening. And as the wife
had mentioned the Polish and Irish folks would have preferred the
sandwiches. They were all surprised to see them on the bar and at
least some of the beef was consumed even though it was more as
dessert.

I never have and won't return to that home. But I'm still very good
friends with the birthday boy and his wife.

Lou

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

In article >,
"Debbie" > wrote:

> >>The Ranger
> >
> > That's just being bitchy!
> > --
>
> There is a season for everything.. including being a bitch! Was this one?
> Wasn't there. Maxine didn't seem to think so, so I will go along with her.
> :-)
>
> Debbie

BITCH:

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Charismatic
Horny.

;-D
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

Subscribe:

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 10:04:17 -0600, Melba's Jammin' wrote:

> In article
> >,
> maxine in ri > wrote:
>
>> On Dec 6, 7:57*pm, "gloria.p" > wrote:
>>
>>> As hostess, I would have served the gyoza as an appetizer and
>>> the beets-and pomegranates as a second salad. *(There are SOME
>>> people, usually well-intentioned, who don't like beets, remember?)
>>
>> People who don't like beets? Shocking, right Barb? ;-)
>
> With pomegranates, no less. Gack. Oy.

slap the in the face with a hotdish!

your pal,
blake

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Mon, 7 Dec 2009 12:23:28 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:

> blake murphy wrote:
>> On Sun, 6 Dec 2009 16:16:51 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>>> Omelet wrote:
>
>>>> maxine in ri > wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> What would _you_ have done?
>>>>>
>>>>> fuming in ri
>>>>
>>>> Left and gone home.
>>>
>>> (laugh) I didn't want to say it. I thought it.
>
>> geez. tough crowd.
>
> Put yourself in maxine's shoes. I don't care if she just stopped
> at the store and picked something up, she brought it in and
> presented it and was left standing there with egg on her face,
> sort of, with Sorry, we don't need that. Some other person
> brought something lovely.
>
> She made a lovely sounding salad (that she was assigned) and
> was made to feel dismissed. I was steamed for her. No pun
> intended.
>
> nancy

sure, i'd be miffed. but i don't think i would storm off in a huff. not
gone back the next time, maybe.

your pal,
blake

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

blake murphy wrote:
> On Mon, 7 Dec 2009 12:23:28 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:

>> She made a lovely sounding salad (that she was assigned) and
>> was made to feel dismissed. I was steamed for her. No pun
>> intended.
>>
>> nancy
>
> sure, i'd be miffed. but i don't think i would storm off in a huff. not
> gone back the next time, maybe.


Ain't it a bitch to be treated rudely and then be expected to take the
high moral ground.

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Mon, 7 Dec 2009 18:28:35 -0500, Debbie wrote:

> "blake murphy" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:12:42 -0500, Bob Muncie wrote:
>>
>>> Debbie wrote:
>>>>
>>>> "Dave Smith" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> Debbie wrote:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>> The hostess offered it to me to take home, I split it with her. The
>>>>>>> next time I will just get one or two pieces.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> I had someone offer to make a dessert if I purchased the ingredients
>>>>>> as it included an ingredient I was allergic to. I did so and took
>>>>>> them all over to her. She lived across the street. The night of the
>>>>>> dinner, she "forgot" the dessert and forgot to return the leftovers
>>>>>> of the ingredients. I never allowed another person to contribute to
>>>>>> a meal.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> I think that would really **** me off.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> That it did. Especially when she didn't go across the street to get it,
>>>> just said she forgot it. I am thinking she probably just didn't make it
>>>> and didn't want to own up to it.
>>>>
>>>> Debbie
>>>
>>> But you, as the better person, did not make it an issue. That's what I
>>> would see.
>>>
>>> Bob
>>
>> i disagree. debbie should have posted that she wanted the woman to die
>> from AIDS.
>>
>
> wouldn't wish that on public enemy #1
>
> Debbie

well, this was in reply to nicey-guy/angel of death muncie, so a grain of
salt may be required.

your pal,
blake

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:49:05 -0800, Bob Terwilliger wrote:

> blake wrote:
>
>> i wondering about the age or experience of the hostess. kind of sounds
>> like a rookie mistake, or as i suggested in another post, dread of the
>> Queen Bee.
>
> Maxine said the hostess was "a very sweet 84 year old widow".
>
> Bob

yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. still could be a lack of
stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.

your pal,
blake

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:08:45 -0700, gloria.p wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>> In article >,
>> Kajikit > wrote:
>>
>>>> SWMBO laughed when she read this.
>
>>>>
>>>> She'd actually been thinking about this while prepping holiday
>>>> cookies; she offered up, "Okay; good night then," and turning to me
>>>> would just as "innocently" say, "<insert movie title> is still
>>>> playing. Didn't you mention you'd rather go to that instead of this
>>>> meal?" Sometimes, it's just best to put it all out on the table. <EG>
>>>>
>>>> The Ranger
>>> That's just being bitchy!
>>
>> Actually, with women, the proper term is "catty". <g>
>
> I don't think I have EVER heard a man referred to as "bitchy".
>
> gloria p

ask morrow.

your pal,
blake

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

"Lou Decruss" wrote

> I like these threads because it makes me realize I'm not the only one
> who runs into rude people.
>
> A few years ago a friend was turning 50. His daughter was throwing a

(snip)

> sandwiches. They were all surprised to see them on the bar and at
> least some of the beef was consumed even though it was more as
> dessert.

Sigh, some folks have no sense.

We do our frequent little neighbor things (not so much in winter). I
mentioned to Maxine about the one person we 'de-invited'. See, about 1/2
the buddies on our list are in fixed limited incomes. We always carefully
reserve the simple but inexpensive dishes for them. The final straw was
trying to 'trump' the salad Silina was bringing. Silina is married to an
E5, has 6 kids (2 in diapers) and child care costs are more by far than any
job skills she currently has. (VA law doesnt allow her to take in others
for money either as she's at limit). So she was making a simple normal
salad. Nothing fancy.

Silina has a backyard well tended garden and grows several types of lettuce,
tomatos, cucumbers, summer squashes, eggplants, and heirloom bell peppers.
She also grows other things not really related to salad making ;-)

So first question is always 'what yummie thing from her organic plants are
we gonna get' and we fit the rest of us around it. Once it was a big batch
of carrots and we made carrot cream soup. Often though, it is the green
salad in summer season. She brings enough for all, buying a little extra
lettuce if not quite enough from the yard (or from mine as I grow it too).
She brings the kids of course!

Ms 'de-invitee' we didnt catch on to right away but she'd wait until
everyone else listed then go 'oh that sounds good, I'll bring one too'.
Now, we are happy to have more than 1 of dishes so thats fine, but after a
time, we noted she *targeted* the folks on limited income and was rubbing
their noses in it with 'fancy to the point where it was non-sensical'. She
brought a salad with 50% belgian endive, shiitakes, macademia nuts, and
'heart of palm' and was bragging about it. We just quietly removed her from
our emails.

Believe me, *all* dishes go right out there in the best way we can fit them
all and since most are held at my house (I got the party screened porch with
2 picnic tables and enough fans to make us comfy up to 100F since we are
gnerally used to high temps here anyways). If I get more than can fit on
the porch, everyone *knows* the bar in the livingroom is where it goes and
we generally put the desserty things and salads there (anything that best be
in the AC).

I guess it all sounds very odd, but we are just as happy to eat John's
'giggly wiggly jello animals' (he has the cutest molds!) and complement him
on how fun they are, as the T-bones or grilled Ahi or live crabs another
might bring. It works because we don't sweat the small stuff.

Heck, often it's chicken, hamburgers, and hotdogs!

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Dec 7, 9:21*am, Kajikit > wrote:
> On Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:57:59 -0700, "gloria.p" >
> wrote:
>
>
>
> >maxine in ri wrote:
> >> My husband's church has "small group dinners"
>
> >> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
> >> candied walnuts and gougeres.
>
> >> We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
> >> second couple there. *As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
> >> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. *This other person brought a lovely
> >> salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
> >> appetizer."
>
> >THEN SERVE IT AS AN APPETIZER and serve my salad as it was meant
> >to be! *Your hostess wasn't very tactful was she?
>
> >> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
> >> to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
> >> gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>
> >> She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>
> >Is she usually this passive aggressive, egotistical, or just
> >clueless?
>
> >> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> >> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> >> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
> >> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> >> ego.
>
> >I agree with your suggestion. *Your hostess was pretty much 50%
> >of the problem. *How could she not think about YOUR feelings, too?
>
> >> What would _you_ have done?
>
> >> fuming in ri
>
> >I'd have been fuming also, in fact I am on your behalf.
>
> >As hostess, I would have served the gyoza as an appetizer and
> >the beets-and pomegranates as a second salad. *(There are SOME
> >people, usually well-intentioned, who don't like beets, remember?)
>
> >Has this happened with this group before? *It sounds as though
> >the rules haven't been stressed enough or some folk don't think
> >the rules apply to them. *(Hm, why is it always the same people?)
>
> 'Tonight we have a lovely beet salad and a seasonal citrus salad.
> Which would you prefer, or would you like some of each?' (pass the
> extra bunny food this way - they both sound good!) *

Great response in hindsight! If ever faced with such a slap in the
face again, I'll use it. Thanks!
maxine in ri

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

blake murphy wrote:
> On Mon, 7 Dec 2009 12:23:28 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>
>> blake murphy wrote:
>>> On Sun, 6 Dec 2009 16:16:51 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>>>
>>>> Omelet wrote:
>>
>>>>> maxine in ri > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> What would _you_ have done?
>>>>>>
>>>>>> fuming in ri
>>>>>
>>>>> Left and gone home.
>>>>
>>>> (laugh) I didn't want to say it. I thought it.
>>
>>> geez. tough crowd.
>>
>> Put yourself in maxine's shoes. I don't care if she just stopped
>> at the store and picked something up, she brought it in and
>> presented it and was left standing there with egg on her face,
>> sort of, with Sorry, we don't need that. Some other person
>> brought something lovely.
>>
>> She made a lovely sounding salad (that she was assigned) and
>> was made to feel dismissed. I was steamed for her. No pun
>> intended.

> sure, i'd be miffed. but i don't think i would storm off in a huff.
> not gone back the next time, maybe.

Just because I said I thought it doesn't mean I would have.
I wouldn't have blamed her but I would have been surprised if
she'd done it.

nancy

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 17:41:35 -0500, blake murphy
> wrote:

>yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. still could be a lack of
>stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.

We still haven't heard if she really intended that beet thing to be
salad and not appetizers.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Dec 7, 6:31*pm, "Debbie" > wrote:

> Well the next time this hostess invited them, they could be very gracious
> and thank them adding that they assume no contribution would be needed from
> this time either, which would be a good thing as the last time their
> contribution wasn't needed they couldn't eat it fast enough before it
> spoiled.
>
> Debbie

Not gonna happen again. Next year, _I'll_ volunteer to host one of
these dinners, and set my own standards for strange food rules...
<evil grin> And I will tactfully tell the organizer that the widow
Beets&Pomegranates shouldn't be on my guest list.

maxine in ri

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Dec 8, 8:01*am, Lou Decruss > wrote:
> On Sun, 6 Dec 2009 11:09:36 -0800 (PST), maxine in ri
>
>
>
> > wrote:
> >My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
> >the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
> >and desserts.
>
> >Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
> >candied walnuts and gougeres.
>
> >We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
> >second couple there. *As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
> >said "Oh, we don't need a salad. *This other person brought a lovely
> >salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
> >appetizer."
>
> >She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
> >to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
> >gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>
> >She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>
> >If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
> >guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
> >offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
> >share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
> >ego.
>
> >What would _you_ have done?
>
> >fuming in ri
>
> I can't say for sure how I'd handle it without knowing the
> relationships. *No matter what I'd be quite ****ed. *
>
> I like these threads because it makes me realize I'm not the only one
> who runs into rude people.
>
> A few years ago a friend was turning 50. *His daughter was throwing a
> surprise party and his wife was somewhat involved in the planning.
> The wife asked me to make Italian beef so her family would have
> something to eat as she wasn't sure how they were going to like all
> the Puerto Rican food. *I arrived early to get everything set up in
> the commercial chaffing pan and cut the bread etc. *The daughter acted
> like she was surprised and said she had heard something about
> sandwiches but nothing so elaborate. *This is Chicago and everyone
> here knows how Italian beef is served at parties. *She said the only
> place to put my generous almost 10 pounds of beef was in the basement
> on the bar. *All the other catered foil pans were served upstairs and
> most people ate there too while the beef was downstairs. *It wasn't
> even a wet bar and it was a pain in the ass to set up. *I had to get
> water for the pan from a bathroom sink with a bowl and had no access
> to a microwave to bring the juice to temperature. * * * *
>
> Later the party moved downstairs for gift opening. *And as the wife
> had mentioned the Polish and Irish folks would have preferred the
> sandwiches. *They were all surprised to see them on the bar and at
> least some of the beef was consumed even though it was more as
> dessert.
>
> I never have and won't return to that home. *But I'm still very good
> friends with the birthday boy and his wife.
>
> Lou

You definitely earned your halo that day!
maxine in ri

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

blake murphy wrote:
> On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:49:05 -0800, Bob Terwilliger wrote:
>
>> blake wrote:
>>
>>> i wondering about the age or experience of the hostess. kind of sounds
>>> like a rookie mistake, or as i suggested in another post, dread of the
>>> Queen Bee.
>> Maxine said the hostess was "a very sweet 84 year old widow".
>>
>> Bob
>
> yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. still could be a lack of
> stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.

I guess I need an assertiveness training update. I had forgotten about
the use of repetition and slight alterations.

I am sorry, I thought that you had asked me to bring a salad..... and
now you want me to put my salad in the coat room ??? But you asked me
to bring a salad? Should I not have brought the salad that you asked me
to bring? But I thought you had asked me to bring a salad and now you
want me to put it in the coat room? Did you not want me to bring a salad?

You can just repeat the same thing over and over and with slight
variations and get the hostess to realize that she had indeed asked me
to bring a salad and realize that I am offended by her actions without
letting on how upset you are. Repeated often enough she should
eventually clue into the reason that you should be offended and
may remember that when you decline a future invitation.

FWIW,,,, my wife belonged to a local chapter of a women's university
group. IMO, it is a bit of an anachronism, a relic from the days when
only a few women attended university, and did so more in the interest of
marrying well than pursuing a career. They planned a trip to the city
to see a special exhibit at the museum. They were going to meet at the
train station, get up to the museum, have lunch see the exhibit and then
go back by train.

She showed up at the train station and there was no one else there. She
hopped on the train, got herself to the museum looked for the group
there, but no one was there. She asked about the group tickets, but none
had been arranged. So she bought a ticket, saw the museum, visited some
friends and came back. When she got home she called the organizers and
asked what had happened. It seems that no one else had responded. She
said that she had responded and wanted to know why she had not been
contacted. Apparently, someone else was responsible for making the
arrangements.

She fired off some email nastygrams to the so-called organizers. She was
so incensed that they would organize something like that and not let the
people who had signed on know that it had been cancelled that she quit
the group. She figured that if they had so little sense that they could
not bother to let her know that the trip had been cancelled that they
were not worthy of her membership.

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Dec 8, 6:09*pm, sf > wrote:
> On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 17:41:35 -0500, blake murphy
>
> > wrote:
> >yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. *still could be a lack of
> >stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.
>
> We still haven't heard if she really intended that beet thing to be
> salad and not appetizers.

Some people consider any intro course to be an appetizer. I hadn't
thought of it that way. That would mean our hostess was at "fault"
for not specifying that she was having appetizer, salad, main,
veggies, starch, and dessert. I probably wouldn't have thought of it
either, since I think of appetizer as either fruit salad or fish.

Thanks for putting a different spin on the situation.

maxine in ri

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

maxine in ri wrote:
> On Dec 7, 6:31 pm, "Debbie" > wrote:
>
>> Well the next time this hostess invited them, they could be very gracious
>> and thank them adding that they assume no contribution would be needed from
>> this time either, which would be a good thing as the last time their
>> contribution wasn't needed they couldn't eat it fast enough before it
>> spoiled.
>>
>> Debbie
>
> Not gonna happen again. Next year, _I'll_ volunteer to host one of
> these dinners, and set my own standards for strange food rules...
> <evil grin> And I will tactfully tell the organizer that the widow
> Beets&Pomegranates shouldn't be on my guest list.


I might be tempted to assign her a costly dish and then arrange for
someone else to bring something simpler and cheaper. Then when the wench
shows up, tell her to put it in the coat room because someone else
brought something better. :-)

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 15:50:21 -0800 (PST), maxine in ri
> wrote:

>On Dec 8, 6:09*pm, sf > wrote:
>> On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 17:41:35 -0500, blake murphy
>>
>> > wrote:
>> >yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. *still could be a lack of
>> >stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.
>>
>> We still haven't heard if she really intended that beet thing to be
>> salad and not appetizers.
>
>Some people consider any intro course to be an appetizer. I hadn't
>thought of it that way. That would mean our hostess was at "fault"
>for not specifying that she was having appetizer, salad, main,
>veggies, starch, and dessert. I probably wouldn't have thought of it
>either, since I think of appetizer as either fruit salad or fish.
>
>Thanks for putting a different spin on the situation.
>
Your welcome Maxine! After you shared your history with her, I
understood your original POV.


--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

blake murphy wrote:

> On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:08:45 -0700, gloria.p wrote:
>
>> Omelet wrote:
>>> In article >,
>>> Kajikit > wrote:
>>>
>>>>> SWMBO laughed when she read this.
>>
>>>>>
>>>>> She'd actually been thinking about this while prepping holiday
>>>>> cookies; she offered up, "Okay; good night then," and turning to
>>>>> me would just as "innocently" say, "<insert movie title> is still
>>>>> playing. Didn't you mention you'd rather go to that instead of
>>>>> this meal?" Sometimes, it's just best to put it all out on the
>>>>> table. <EG>
>>>>>
>>>>> The Ranger
>>>> That's just being bitchy!
>>>
>>> Actually, with women, the proper term is "catty". <g>
>>
>> I don't think I have EVER heard a man referred to as "bitchy".
>>
>> gloria p
>
> ask morrow.


I prefer to think that I'm "arch", blake...along the lines of Addison DeWitt
or Dorian Gray or Dr. Smith on _Lost In Space_...or even George Sanders
being married to Zsa Zsa Gabor...!!!

<chuckle>


--
Best
Greg

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

blake murphy wrote:

> On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:08:45 -0700, gloria.p wrote:
>
>> Omelet wrote:
>>> In article >,
>>> Kajikit > wrote:
>>>
>>>>> SWMBO laughed when she read this.
>>
>>>>>
>>>>> She'd actually been thinking about this while prepping holiday
>>>>> cookies; she offered up, "Okay; good night then," and turning to
>>>>> me would just as "innocently" say, "<insert movie title> is still
>>>>> playing. Didn't you mention you'd rather go to that instead of
>>>>> this meal?" Sometimes, it's just best to put it all out on the
>>>>> table. <EG>
>>>>>
>>>>> The Ranger
>>>> That's just being bitchy!
>>>
>>> Actually, with women, the proper term is "catty". <g>
>>
>> I don't think I have EVER heard a man referred to as "bitchy".
>>
>> gloria p
>
> ask morrow.


PS to Gloria: rent or buy the *** classic _The Boys In The Band_...

;-)


--
Best
Greg

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:16:45 -0800, Ranée at Arabian Knits
> wrote:

>In article >,
> "cshenk" > wrote:
>
>> Ms 'de-invitee' we didnt catch on to right away but she'd wait until
>> everyone else listed then go 'oh that sounds good, I'll bring one too'.
>> Now, we are happy to have more than 1 of dishes so thats fine, but after a
>> time, we noted she *targeted* the folks on limited income and was rubbing
>> their noses in it with 'fancy to the point where it was non-sensical'. She
>> brought a salad with 50% belgian endive, shiitakes, macademia nuts, and
>> 'heart of palm' and was bragging about it. We just quietly removed her from
>> our emails.
>
> I cannot even imagine. Who would do this?
>

Why would someone need to do the one upmanship thing? I think you may
have to know one to understand. IMO: it's a form of bullying if the
other one did not buy into the competition.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

"Dave Smith" > wrote in message
...
> blake murphy wrote:
>> On Tue, 8 Dec 2009 00:49:05 -0800, Bob Terwilliger wrote:
>>
>>> blake wrote:
>>>
>>>> i wondering about the age or experience of the hostess. kind of sounds
>>>> like a rookie mistake, or as i suggested in another post, dread of the
>>>> Queen Bee.
>>> Maxine said the hostess was "a very sweet 84 year old widow".
>>>
>>> Bob
>>
>> yep, a wrong guess, as i noted in a later post. still could be a lack of
>> stomach for bucking the 'assertiveness training' lady.
>
> I guess I need an assertiveness training update. I had forgotten about the
> use of repetition and slight alterations.
>
> I am sorry, I thought that you had asked me to bring a salad..... and now
> you want me to put my salad in the coat room ??? But you asked me to
> bring a salad? Should I not have brought the salad that you asked me to
> bring? But I thought you had asked me to bring a salad and now you want
> me to put it in the coat room? Did you not want me to bring a salad?
>
> You can just repeat the same thing over and over and with slight
> variations and get the hostess to realize that she had indeed asked me to
> bring a salad and realize that I am offended by her actions without
> letting on how upset you are. Repeated often enough she should eventually
> clue into the reason that you should be offended and
> may remember that when you decline a future invitation.
>
> FWIW,,,, my wife belonged to a local chapter of a women's university
> group. IMO, it is a bit of an anachronism, a relic from the days when
> only a few women attended university, and did so more in the interest of
> marrying well than pursuing a career. They planned a trip to the city to
> see a special exhibit at the museum. They were going to meet at the train
> station, get up to the museum, have lunch see the exhibit and then go back
> by train.
>
> She showed up at the train station and there was no one else there. She
> hopped on the train, got herself to the museum looked for the group there,
> but no one was there. She asked about the group tickets, but none had been
> arranged. So she bought a ticket, saw the museum, visited some friends and
> came back. When she got home she called the organizers and asked what had
> happened. It seems that no one else had responded. She said that she had
> responded and wanted to know why she had not been contacted. Apparently,
> someone else was responsible for making the arrangements.
>
> She fired off some email nastygrams to the so-called organizers. She was
> so incensed that they would organize something like that and not let the
> people who had signed on know that it had been cancelled that she quit the
> group. She figured that if they had so little sense that they could not
> bother to let her know that the trip had been cancelled that they were not
> worthy of her membership.

Good for her!

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

"maxine in ri" > wrote in message
...
On Dec 7, 6:31 pm, "Debbie" > wrote:

> Well the next time this hostess invited them, they could be very gracious
> and thank them adding that they assume no contribution would be needed
> from
> this time either, which would be a good thing as the last time their
> contribution wasn't needed they couldn't eat it fast enough before it
> spoiled.
>
> Debbie

Not gonna happen again. Next year, _I'll_ volunteer to host one of
these dinners, and set my own standards for strange food rules...
<evil grin> And I will tactfully tell the organizer that the widow
Beets&Pomegranates shouldn't be on my guest list.

Ah yes! revenge is a dish best served cold!

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

In article >,
Stu > wrote:

> -->BITCH:
> -->
> -->Beautiful
> -->Intelligent
> -->Talented
> -->Charismatic
> -->Horny.
> -->
> -->;-D
>
> Such as women are for the most part ;)

Indeed... <lol>
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

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The joy of Dinner Parties
 

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:

> blake murphy wrote:
> > On Mon, 7 Dec 2009 12:23:28 -0500, Nancy Young wrote:
>
> >> She made a lovely sounding salad (that she was assigned) and
> >> was made to feel dismissed. I was steamed for her. No pun
> >> intended.
> >>
> >> nancy
> >
> > sure, i'd be miffed. but i don't think i would storm off in a huff. not
> > gone back the next time, maybe.
>
>
> Ain't it a bitch to be treated rudely and then be expected to take the
> high moral ground.

S***, that's hard,
but sometimes I have to do just that at work.

The delights of workplace politics.

<sigh>

But, sometimes those skills come in handy in our social lives.
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

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The joy of Dinner Parties
 

In article >,
blake murphy > wrote:

> On Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:08:45 -0700, gloria.p wrote:
>
> > Omelet wrote:
> >> In article >,
> >> Kajikit > wrote:
> >>
> >>>> SWMBO laughed when she read this.
> >
> >>>>
> >>>> She'd actually been thinking about this while prepping holiday
> >>>> cookies; she offered up, "Okay; good night then," and turning to me
> >>>> would just as "innocently" say, "<insert movie title> is still
> >>>> playing. Didn't you mention you'd rather go to that instead of this
> >>>> meal?" Sometimes, it's just best to put it all out on the table. <EG>
> >>>>
> >>>> The Ranger
> >>> That's just being bitchy!
> >>
> >> Actually, with women, the proper term is "catty". <g>
> >
> > I don't think I have EVER heard a man referred to as "bitchy".
> >
> > gloria p
>
> ask morrow.
>
> your pal,
> blake

<snork> No Sh**.
--
Peace! Om

"Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down."
--Steve Rothstein

Web Albums: <http://picasaweb.google.com/OMPOmelet>

Subscribe:

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
5.247...
> On Sun 06 Dec 2009 12:09:36p, maxine in ri told us...
>
>> My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
>> the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
>> and desserts.
>>
>> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
>> candied walnuts and gougeres.
>>
>> We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
>> second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
>> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
>> salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
>> appetizer."
>>
>> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
>> to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
>> gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>>
>> She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>>
>> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
>> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
>> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
>> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
>> ego.
>>
>> What would _you_ have done?
>>
>> fuming in ri
>
> I wouldn't be going to another one, at least not at hostess' house.
>

This is one reason there should be a "sign up sheet" for pot lucks and
volunteer dinners. So no duplications and also so someone can't feel
superior about who brought what (and I'm not talking about you, maxine).

Jill

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

On Wed, 9 Dec 2009 21:38:43 -0500, "jmcquown" >
wrote:

>"Wayne Boatwright" > wrote in message
85.247...
>> On Sun 06 Dec 2009 12:09:36p, maxine in ri told us...
>>
>>> My husband's church has "small group dinners" where the host supplies
>>> the main course and assigns the guests the appetizer, salads, sides,
>>> and desserts.
>>>
>>> Dh and i were assigned salad and bread, so I made a Citrus salad with
>>> candied walnuts and gougeres.
>>>
>>> We arrived precisely at 6:30 as requested, to find that we were the
>>> second couple there. As I placed my food on the counter, the hostess
>>> said "Oh, we don't need a salad. This other person brought a lovely
>>> salad of beets and pomegranates, which is what she considered an
>>> appetizer."
>>>
>>> She also brought (which I wasn't told) a basket of artisan bread, so
>>> to be graceful, I put the salad in the coatroom and suggested the
>>> gougeres would be nice for the appetizers.....
>>>
>>> She _also_ brought gyozo and sauce for the hors d'ouvres.
>>>
>>> If I had been the hostess, I probably would have told her, as the
>>> guests who were assigned those courses arrived, that while her
>>> offerings were lovely, it would be kind of her to let the other people
>>> share theirs rather than have the other guests shoved aside for her
>>> ego.
>>>
>>> What would _you_ have done?
>>>
>>> fuming in ri
>>
>> I wouldn't be going to another one, at least not at hostess' house.
>>
>
>This is one reason there should be a "sign up sheet" for pot lucks and
>volunteer dinners. So no duplications and also so someone can't feel
>superior about who brought what (and I'm not talking about you, maxine).
>
>Jill


For "formal" planned dinner parties ok. And Maxine said they were
each asked to bring something specific.

But for pot luck gatherings, who cares if there are 3 bowls of potato
salad or 2 apple pies. They will all be different and enjoyable. And
the point of the gathering is not a "well balanced" meal, it is the
company.

I have arranged a family reunion 3 times. The first time DH was sure
that if we did not take enough food for the 50+ people everyone would
starve. He had never been to a family reunion or a church supper. I
convinced him that all we needed to take was a couple of things (in
addition to providing drinks and plates, utensils.) Of course we had
enough food for everyone and leftovers to take home.
--
Susan N.

"Moral indignation is in most cases two percent moral,
48 percent indignation, and 50 percent envy."
Vittorio De Sica, Italian movie director (1901-1974)

The joy of Dinner Parties
 

"Ranée at Arabian Knits" wrote
> "cshenk" wrote:

>> Ms 'de-invitee' we didnt catch on to right away but she'd wait until
>> everyone else listed then go 'oh that sounds good, I'll bring one too'.
>> Now, we are happy to have more than 1 of dishes so thats fine, but after
>> a
>> time, we noted she *targeted* the folks on limited income and was rubbing
>> their noses in it with 'fancy to the point where it was non-sensical'.
>> She
>> brought a salad with 50% belgian endive, shiitakes, macademia nuts, and
>> 'heart of palm' and was bragging about it. We just quietly removed her
>> from
>> our emails.
>
> I cannot even imagine. Who would do this?

Dunno what her problem was. We just stopped telling her when they were and
left her off the emails. Let her be big rude rich bitch with some other
group.

We are in the meantime putting together a Xmas 'late lunch' for those with
no family nearby or just folks who wanna come. Entrance fee is a giggle
gift. It must be hand made by you from things you already had at home
*before* the email came out, or bought for 1$ or less added. We did that
last Xmas here before we left and folks made paper flowers out of tissue
paper stuck on pencils for the kids and all sorts on imaginative things crop
up. The food will be mostly pot-luck nibbles but we plan to add a spiral
ham with some fancy mustards and horseradish sauces plus fresh bread and
sliced cheeses.