2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
some of my favourite stuff:

-tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
where I found the invite

At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".

So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......

e.

elaine wrote:
> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
> some of my favourite stuff:
>
> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
> where I found the invite
>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......

You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.

Serene

Say Serene Like You Mean It wrote:
> elaine wrote:
>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store
>> and bought some of my favourite stuff:
>>
>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
>> dressings, omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some
>> small glass spice bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice
>> candle and a three rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up
>> the top of my fridge which is where I found the invite
>>
>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>
>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>> gift......
>
> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>
> Serene

Gifts are traditional for showers. But how on earth would a person know
what someone needs or even *wants* for their bedroom? What, you're supposed
to buy them a pair of lamps or something? Art for the walls? That's silly.
I've heard of kitchen & bathroom showers but never a bedroom shower.

Jill

jmcquown wrote:
> Say Serene Like You Mean It wrote:

>> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
>> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>>
>> Serene
>
> Gifts are traditional for showers.

They certainly are, but that, to me, is all the more reason not to
beg for them -- you're pretty certain people are bringing gifts. Be
grateful and keep your utterances to "Thank you SO much!" is my
advice to the recipients of those lovely gifts, and even to the ones
the recipient might not want.

> But how on earth would a person know
> what someone needs or even *wants* for their bedroom? What, you're supposed
> to buy them a pair of lamps or something? Art for the walls? That's silly.
> I've heard of kitchen & bathroom showers but never a bedroom shower.


*nod*

Serene

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> Say Serene Like You Mean It wrote:
>> elaine wrote:
>>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store
>>> and bought some of my favourite stuff:
>>>
>>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
>>> dressings, omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some
>>> small glass spice bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice
>>> candle and a three rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up
>>> the top of my fridge which is where I found the invite
>>>
>>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>>
>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>> gift......
>>
>> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
>> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>>
>> Serene
>
> Gifts are traditional for showers. But how on earth would a person know
> what someone needs or even *wants* for their bedroom? What, you're
> supposed
> to buy them a pair of lamps or something? Art for the walls? That's
> silly.
> I've heard of kitchen & bathroom showers but never a bedroom shower.
>
> Jill

For the record, I suspect each invitee was asked to bring a gift for a
certain room. But I agree, what the heck would I buy for the bedroom. I'd
much rather buy for the kitchen.

On Apr 27, 5:22 am, "elaine" > wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
> > Say Serene Like You Mean It wrote:
> >> elaine wrote:
> >>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store
> >>> and bought some of my favourite stuff:
>
> >>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
> >>> dressings, omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some
> >>> small glass spice bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice
> >>> candle and a three rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up
> >>> the top of my fridge which is where I found the invite
>
> >>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> >>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> >>> gift......
>
> >> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
> >> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>
> >> Serene
>
> > Gifts are traditional for showers. But how on earth would a person know
> > what someone needs or even *wants* for their bedroom? What, you're
> > supposed
> > to buy them a pair of lamps or something? Art for the walls? That's
> > silly.
> > I've heard of kitchen & bathroom showers but never a bedroom shower.
>
> > Jill
>
> For the record, I suspect each invitee was asked to bring a gift for a
> certain room. But I agree, what the heck would I buy for the bedroom. I'd
> much rather buy for the kitchen.

I know someone already suggested a tray for Breakfast in Bed, but if
you had noticed it before, and felt the urge, some nice throw pillows,
or a cosy throw, fuzzy slippers (the more outrageous the better),
clock radio (I'm thinking in the $20-30 range. YMMV).

If your friends have a good sense of humor, a bottle of chocolate
syrup, one of those stick blenders, and a container of whipping
cream....

maxine in ri

"maxine in ri" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> On Apr 27, 5:22 am, "elaine" > wrote:
>> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
>>
>> ...
>>
>>
>>
>> > Say Serene Like You Mean It wrote:
>> >> elaine wrote:
>> >>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store
>> >>> and bought some of my favourite stuff:
>>
>> >>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
>> >>> dressings, omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some
>> >>> small glass spice bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice
>> >>> candle and a three rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up
>> >>> the top of my fridge which is where I found the invite
>>
>> >>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>
>> >>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>> >>> gift......
>>
>> >> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
>> >> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>>
>> >> Serene
>>
>> > Gifts are traditional for showers. But how on earth would a person
>> > know
>> > what someone needs or even *wants* for their bedroom? What, you're
>> > supposed
>> > to buy them a pair of lamps or something? Art for the walls? That's
>> > silly.
>> > I've heard of kitchen & bathroom showers but never a bedroom shower.
>>
>> > Jill
>>
>> For the record, I suspect each invitee was asked to bring a gift for a
>> certain room. But I agree, what the heck would I buy for the bedroom.
>> I'd
>> much rather buy for the kitchen.
>
> I know someone already suggested a tray for Breakfast in Bed, but if
> you had noticed it before, and felt the urge, some nice throw pillows,
> or a cosy throw, fuzzy slippers (the more outrageous the better),
> clock radio (I'm thinking in the $20-30 range. YMMV).
>
> If your friends have a good sense of humor, a bottle of chocolate
> syrup, one of those stick blenders, and a container of whipping
> cream....

That would have been a fabulous idea - if I hadn't already spent
$30..............

Next time,

e.

On Apr 26, 7:18 pm, Say Serene Like You Mean It
> wrote:
> elaine wrote:
> > 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
> > some of my favourite stuff:
>
> > -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> > omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> > bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> > rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
> > where I found the invite
>
> > At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> > So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......
>
> You didn't screw up; they did. People ought not beg for gifts, and
> even if that were not rude, specifying the gift would be.
>
> Serene

for real
more and more and more and more
I realize many people don't have a lick of common sense about them

when it comes to events like the one here...

people just get hog stupid about some things

for the BEDROOM? LIKE I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT MANS PERSONAL BUSINESS
WITH HIS WIFE eeewww

On Apr 26, 4:16 pm, "elaine" > wrote:
> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
> some of my favourite stuff:
>
> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
> where I found the invite
>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......
>
> e.

Put in a picnic basket for a bedroom picnic? Or call them weird sex
toys- throw in some lubricant!

elaine wrote:


>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......
>

Add:

Cooking in the Nude : Just Married (Cooking in the Nude , No 1)
by Debbie Cornwell & Stephen Cornwell

http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Nude-J...7630109&sr=1-1


Or some similar title.



Dawn

Dawn wrote:


> Cooking in the Nude : Just Married (Cooking in the Nude , No 1)
> by Debbie Cornwell & Stephen Cornwell
>
> http://www.amazon.com/Cooking-Nude-J...94323199X/ref=...

This one is excellent as well ...
http://www.intercourses.com/index.html

Great recipes, absolutely "scrumptuous" photography. It even works as
a coffee table book. Gives the guests something to discuss in those
occasional awkward silences.

--Lin

elaine wrote:
> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
> some of my favourite stuff:
>
> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
> where I found the invite
>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......
>
> e.

Add a card that says "The road to a good bedroom experience leads
through the kitchen."

;-)
gloria p

"Puester" > wrote in message
...
> elaine wrote:
>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and
>> bought some of my favourite stuff:
>>
>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
>> dressings, omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some
>> small glass spice bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice
>> candle and a three rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top
>> of my fridge which is where I found the invite
>>
>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>
>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>> gift......
>>
>> e.
>
> Add a card that says "The road to a good bedroom experience leads through
> the kitchen."

love it........I can do that! with a sex toy too! thanks

e.

In article >,
Puester > wrote:

> elaine wrote:
> > 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and
> > bought
> > some of my favourite stuff:
> >
> > -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> > omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> > bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> > rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which
> > is
> > where I found the invite
> >
> > At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
> >
> > So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> > gift......
> >
> > e.
>
> Add a card that says "The road to a good bedroom experience leads
> through the kitchen."
>
> ;-)
> gloria p

And it starts with him clearing the table and doing the dishes. :-)
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.mac.com/barbschaller - blahblahblog - Orange Honey
Garlic Chicken, 3-29-2007
jamlady.eboard.com
http:/http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amytaylor/

In article >,
"elaine" > wrote:

> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and bought
> some of my favourite stuff:
>
> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad dressings,
> omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass spice
> bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
> rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which is
> where I found the invite
>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen gift......
>
> e.

Why not just return the items and buy a gift for the bedroom?

"Stan Horwitz" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> "elaine" > wrote:
>
>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store and
>> bought
>> some of my favourite stuff:
>>
>> -tongs; microplane, little egg beater -- great for making salad
>> dressings,
>> omelettes, scrambled eggs; marble mortar and pestle; some small glass
>> spice
>> bottles; knife that cuts really cool shapes, nice candle and a three
>> rectangle server. Came home and was tidying up the top of my fridge which
>> is
>> where I found the invite
>>
>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>
>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>> gift......
>>
>> e.
>
> Why not just return the items and buy a gift for the bedroom?

Don't think so. My kitchen store is half an hour away and this was my day
off.

e.

elaine wrote:
> "Stan Horwitz" > wrote in message
> ...
>> In article >,
>> "elaine" > wrote:
>>
>>> 2 wedding showers on the w/e. So today I went to a kitchen store
>>> and bought
>>> some of my favourite stuff:
>>> where I found the invite
>>>
>>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>>
>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>> gift......
>>>
>>> e.
>>
>> Why not just return the items and buy a gift for the bedroom?
>
> Don't think so. My kitchen store is half an hour away and this was
> my day off.
>
> e.

As I said in a reply to Serene, how are people supposed to know what they'd
like in their bedroom? The only stuff in my bedroom is furniture and lamps.
Sheets and comforter sets are expensive and you'd have to know what size bed
they have or will have, anyway. I think this was a very poor choice for the
type of shower gifts to specify.

Jill

"elaine" > wrote in message
...
>
> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> gift......


I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then give
them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry,
but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.

"Davlo" > wrote in message
...
>
> "elaine" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>
>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>> gift......
>
>
> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then
> give them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm
> sorry, but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.

I'm not sure I agree.

Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't discovered the extra piece
of paper directing me to the bedroom.

Oh well.

"elaine" > wrote in message
...

> I'm not sure I agree.
>
> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
> is?

Actually, yes. How did people ever handle such a burden before the onset of
gift registries? The horror...


IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
> something!


Yes, it makes it "easier" in that now people don't have to put any actual
thought into giving a gift. Instead they just choose from a pre-ordained
list. So much for creativity and the meaningfulness of a heartfelt gift.
Weddings have become McWeddings, with all the soul and sincerity of a Happy
Meal.

"Davlo" > wrote in message
...
>
> "elaine" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>> I'm not sure I agree.
>>
>> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
>> is?
>
> Actually, yes. How did people ever handle such a burden before the onset
> of gift registries? The horror...
>
>
> IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
>> something!
>
>
> Yes, it makes it "easier" in that now people don't have to put any actual
> thought into giving a gift. Instead they just choose from a pre-ordained
> list. So much for creativity and the meaningfulness of a heartfelt gift.
> Weddings have become McWeddings, with all the soul and sincerity of a
> Happy Meal.

To be honest, I never, ever look at the gift registry thing. I suspect it
is a guideline for some people - and some people like that!

"elaine" > wrote

> To be honest, I never, ever look at the gift registry thing. I suspect it
> is a guideline for some people - and some people like that!

Gift registry used to have a good purpose, how could you buy
china for someone if you didn't know their pattern? I think it's
gotten out of hand, myself. The last time I went to a wedding
shower ... not the wedding, just the shower! ... the gifts started at
$60 and went up to items costing hundreds. I know the stores
encourage that kind of thing, but geez. No kidding, I'd like a
$300 Kitchenaid mixer, too! Never occurred to me to ask my
friends to pick one up for me.

nancy

Davlo wrote:
> "elaine" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>> I'm not sure I agree.
>>
>> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
>> is?
>
> Actually, yes. How did people ever handle such a burden before the onset of
> gift registries? The horror...
>
>
> IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
>> something!
>
>
> Yes, it makes it "easier" in that now people don't have to put any actual
> thought into giving a gift. Instead they just choose from a pre-ordained
> list. So much for creativity and the meaningfulness of a heartfelt gift.
> Weddings have become McWeddings, with all the soul and sincerity of a Happy
> Meal.
>
>

Nobody is forced to buy things on the registry. It's there to help
those who don't know what to buy. It's not neuroscience.

--
"I'm thinking that if this dilemma grows any more horns, I'm going to
shoot it and put it up on the wall."

- Harry Dresden

elaine wrote:
> "Davlo" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "elaine" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>>
>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>> gift......
>>
>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
>> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
>> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then
>> give them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm
>> sorry, but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>
> I'm not sure I agree.
>
> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
> is?

Yes.

> IMO it makes it easier to buy.

There's no requirement that you buy people gifts. If you don't have
the desire to do something nice for them on your own, they shouldn't
be dictating which way you should be nice to them.

Miss Manners has a lot to say about this, and I agree with her
completely. A recent column of hers says, in the context of another
question, "When you speak of a 'gift,' it is in the social sense,
where it would indeed be unfitting to name your own. (And yes, Miss
Manners applies this condemnation to the use of so-called gift
registries.)"

Serene

On Apr 26, 8:21 pm, "elaine" > wrote:
> "Davlo" > wrote in message
>
> ...
>
>
>
> > "elaine" > wrote in message
> ...
>
> >> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>
> >> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> >> gift......
>
> > I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
> > what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
> > get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then
> > give them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm
> > sorry, but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>
> I'm not sure I agree.
>
> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
> is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
> something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't discovered the extra piece
> of paper directing me to the bedroom.
>
> Oh well.

On the other hand, directions to the bedroom seem fraught with peril.
There is no way I'd give my friends [1] and relations such an
opportunity.
John Kane, Kingston ON Canada

[1] With friends like these ...

elaine wrote:
> "Davlo" > wrote in message
>>
>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
>> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
>> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then
>> give them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm
>> sorry, but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>
> I'm not sure I agree.
>
> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
> is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
> something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't discovered the extra piece
> of paper directing me to the bedroom.
>


Technically (from the etiquette mavens) a "theme" shower is OK but it is
still considered rude to enclose registry information in a wedding
invitation.

Rationale: the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the recipient with
gifts; a wedding invitation is just that--an invitation to witness a
wedding. No gift required although attendees usually do cough up.

gloria p

Puester wrote:
> elaine wrote:
>> "Davlo" > wrote in message
>>>
>>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a
>>> request for what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as
>>> crass as one can get. If you feel that you want to give them the
>>> things you bought, then give them. That's the whole concept of
>>> GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry, but those people are
>>> waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>>
>> I'm not sure I agree.
>>
>> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift
>> registry is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in
>> having 3 of something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't
>> discovered the extra piece of paper directing me to the bedroom.
>>
>
>
> Technically (from the etiquette mavens) a "theme" shower is OK but it is
> still considered rude to enclose registry information in a wedding
> invitation.
>
> Rationale: the purpose of a shower is to "shower" the recipient with
> gifts; a wedding invitation is just that--an invitation to witness a
> wedding. No gift required although attendees usually do cough up.
>
> gloria p

Exactly, and the OP stated that she was getting gifts for a few
showers...so I don't know what everyone is all up in arms about...it's
not as if the requests were made for wedding gifts.

--
"I'm thinking that if this dilemma grows any more horns, I'm going to
shoot it and put it up on the wall."

- Harry Dresden

elaine wrote:

>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>> gift......
>>
>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
>> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
>> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then
>> give them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm
>> sorry, but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>
> I'm not sure I agree.
>
> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift registry
> is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in having 3 of
> something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't discovered the extra piece
> of paper directing me to the bedroom.
>
Not only is it horrible to mention gifts on an invitation (backed up for
ages by all the etiquette and protocol experts) I personally dislike
being dictated to as to what to gift the couple with should I choose to
give a gift.

Goomba38 wrote:
> elaine wrote:
>
>>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>>> gift......
>>>
>>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a
>>> request for what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as
>>> crass as one can get. If you feel that you want to give them the
>>> things you bought, then give them. That's the whole concept of
>>> GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry, but those people are
>>> waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>>
>> I'm not sure I agree.
>>
>> Is it rude to include in the wedding invitation where one's gift
>> registry is? IMO it makes it easier to buy. Like what's the point in
>> having 3 of something! I just thought it funny that I hadn't
>> discovered the extra piece of paper directing me to the bedroom.
>>
> Not only is it horrible to mention gifts on an invitation (backed up for
> ages by all the etiquette and protocol experts) I personally dislike
> being dictated to as to what to gift the couple with should I choose to
> give a gift.

It's a shower invite, not a wedding invite. The purpose of a shower is
to provide gifts. One is free to decline the invite.
--
"I'm thinking that if this dilemma grows any more horns, I'm going to
shoot it and put it up on the wall."

- Harry Dresden

ravenlynne wrote:

> It's a shower invite, not a wedding invite. The purpose of a shower is
> to provide gifts. One is free to decline the invite.

It is still tacky to advertise registry information, or request cash in
lieu of presents and the like on ANY type of invitation.

Sometimes I've noticed that left to my own devices I tend to give nicer
gifts than what is requested on some gift registration.

Another social faux pas I see more often now is when a "shower" is
hosted by someone in the bride or grooms own family.

I don't have a problem with invites to a "kitchen" or "linen" (or
whatever shower) as long as they leave it up to my discretion as to what
to choose.

Davlo wrote:
>
>
> > So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> > gift......
>
> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then give
> them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry,
> but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.

I agree when it comes to wedding gifts, but the OP was invited to a shower,
and showers often have some sort of theme. I have heard of spice and
condiment showers, bedroom showers, bathroom showers, kitchen showers.

I can understand having a registry for dishes, crystal and silver ware so
that people expected to bring a wedding gift will know what they can get to
contribute to a young couple's good dishes, but I am surprised at the
things I have seen on registries over the past few years. They actually
specify the make, model and colour of various appliances. To be fair, many
of them are urged to do that by the stores who do the registry, but it is
still damned tacky IMO.

Dave Smith wrote:
>
> I can understand having a registry for dishes, crystal and silver ware so
> that people expected to bring a wedding gift will know what they can get to
> contribute to a young couple's good dishes, but I am surprised at the
> things I have seen on registries over the past few years. They actually
> specify the make, model and colour of various appliances. To be fair, many
> of them are urged to do that by the stores who do the registry, but it is
> still damned tacky IMO.


Yep. Even worse, some financial institutions will let the couple
"register" for a mortgage donation and travel agencies will accept
donations for a honeymoon. Whatever happened to waiting for marriage
till you can afford it and paying your own way?

I am told it is generally understood that "We really have everything we
need." is code for "We want cash gifts." And cash gifts should equal or
exceed the cost of the reception meal. Huh? No guest ever required
that a couple feed them an overpriced dinner. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

gloria p

Puester wrote:
>
>
> Yep. Even worse, some financial institutions will let the couple
> "register" for a mortgage donation and travel agencies will accept
> donations for a honeymoon. Whatever happened to waiting for marriage
> till you can afford it and paying your own way?

No problem..... Have the bank send the couple a card that says that you
donated, but not the amount.


> I am told it is generally understood that "We really have everything we
> need." is code for "We want cash gifts." And cash gifts should equal or
> exceed the cost of the reception meal. Huh? No guest ever required
> that a couple feed them an overpriced dinner. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

This thread has passed through here a few times over the years. IMO it is
absolutely ridiculous the way people blow money on weddings. My son is at
the age where some of his friends are getting married and inviting my wife
and I to their weddings and outrageously expensive dinners. Sorry, but even
if we hadn't both taken earlier retirement and the huge drop in income that
goes with it, I am not spending $300 or more on a friend of the son just
to make sure the gift covers the price of the meals when it is about three
times what I would spend on a decent meal in a restaurant where I get to
pick what I want for dinner instead of what the caterer can turn out 200
servings of.

"Dave Smith" > wrote in message
...
> Puester wrote:
>>
>>
>> Yep. Even worse, some financial institutions will let the couple
>> "register" for a mortgage donation and travel agencies will accept
>> donations for a honeymoon. Whatever happened to waiting for marriage
>> till you can afford it and paying your own way?
>
> No problem..... Have the bank send the couple a card that says that you
> donated, but not the amount.
>
>
>> I am told it is generally understood that "We really have everything we
>> need." is code for "We want cash gifts." And cash gifts should equal or
>> exceed the cost of the reception meal. Huh? No guest ever required
>> that a couple feed them an overpriced dinner. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
>
> This thread has passed through here a few times over the years. IMO it is
> absolutely ridiculous the way people blow money on weddings. My son is at
> the age where some of his friends are getting married and inviting my wife
> and I to their weddings and outrageously expensive dinners. Sorry, but
> even
> if we hadn't both taken earlier retirement and the huge drop in income
> that
> goes with it, I am not spending $300 or more on a friend of the son just
> to make sure the gift covers the price of the meals when it is about three
> times what I would spend on a decent meal in a restaurant where I get to
> pick what I want for dinner instead of what the caterer can turn out 200
> servings of.

My first wedding was a big one, with a nice reception (now meal just light
refreshments and cake). The second time though we threw into the E A S Y
side of things and went elegant but less expensive. The second time was far
more fun and more relaxed and emotional/sentimental for all involved.

We didn't mention gifts are registration but got some very lovely and
personal gifts. It was the second marriage for each and one "wedding support
specialist" at the mall where I was shopping who thought we should place the
following line on our invitations, oh and if we did it was good for a
discount on the invitation order.

"Though gifts are not expected, they are appreciated and for your shopping
convenience you can find us registered at 'store name'. If you would prefer,
cash and giftcards will be welcomed."

Yea, NO!

Cindi

On Thu, 26 Apr 2007 22:32:23 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>Sorry, but even
>if we hadn't both taken earlier retirement and the huge drop in income that
>goes with it, I am not spending $300 or more on a friend of the son just
>to make sure the gift covers the price of the meals when it is about three
>times what I would spend on a decent meal in a restaurant where I get to
>pick what I want for dinner instead of what the caterer can turn out 200
>servings of.

In my experience, princesses don't adjust easily to life in the real
world. The more money Daddy is required to spend on a big wedding....
the more likely it is to fail (unless Daddy subsidizes her married
life too).

--
See return address to reply by email

Puester wrote:
> Dave Smith wrote:
>>
>> I can understand having a registry for dishes, crystal and silver ware so
>> that people expected to bring a wedding gift will know what they can
>> get to
>> contribute to a young couple's good dishes, but I am surprised at the
>> things I have seen on registries over the past few years. They actually
>> specify the make, model and colour of various appliances. To be fair,
>> many
>> of them are urged to do that by the stores who do the registry, but it is
>> still damned tacky IMO.
>
>
> Yep. Even worse, some financial institutions will let the couple
> "register" for a mortgage donation and travel agencies will accept
> donations for a honeymoon. Whatever happened to waiting for marriage
> till you can afford it and paying your own way?
>
> I am told it is generally understood that "We really have everything we
> need." is code for "We want cash gifts." And cash gifts should equal or
> exceed the cost of the reception meal. Huh? No guest ever required
> that a couple feed them an overpriced dinner. Tacky, tacky, tacky.
>
> gloria p

I agree...that's tacky.

One of the gifts that really stand out from my wedding 3 years ago was a
bottle of spumante. We drank it on our first anniversary with the
horrible leftover wedding cake (it just wasn't good after being frozen
for a year). And it probably cost them less than ten bucks, but I
really enjoyed it.

--
"I'm thinking that if this dilemma grows any more horns, I'm going to
shoot it and put it up on the wall."

- Harry Dresden

ravenlynne wrote:
>
> One of the gifts that really stand out from my wedding 3 years ago was a
> bottle of spumante. We drank it on our first anniversary with the
> horrible leftover wedding cake (it just wasn't good after being frozen
> for a year). And it probably cost them less than ten bucks, but I
> really enjoyed it.


We bought my sister in law a bottle of champagne for her wedding a few
years ago. She did not want any presents. This was her third official
marriage, and there were several informal ones in between. How many wedding
presents are people supposed to buy for friends and family. I figure that
if you buy one good one that should pretty well cover you for the rest of
their life, since wedding vows are supposed to be forever, and good wedding
presents are not cheap.

In article >,
"Davlo" > wrote:

> "elaine" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
> >
> > So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
> > gift......
>
>
> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a request for
> what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as crass as one can
> get. If you feel that you want to give them the things you bought, then give
> them. That's the whole concept of GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry,
> but those people are waaaayyy out of line with that invite.

Nah, bridal showers and baby showers are different. Their *purpose* is
to give gifts to the guest of honor * to *shower* her/them with things.
And to have a light meal (if it was a meal time event) or coffee and
dessert (if it was not meal time). And to visit with friends and maybe
family you hadn't seen in a long time.

My beef is that shower gifts used to be small gifts * if it was a
kitchen shower (yes, there was almost always a theme and everyone knew
it; nothing crass about it), dish towels, vegetable peelers, pot
scrubbies (cute ones, not icky steel wool ones), pot holders, strainers,
were the order of the day. Maybe a saucer in her "good china" pattern.
Incidental stuff, not the Cuisinart or coffeemaker or mixer that one
would give as the wedding gift. "Nowadays" I've seen brides get sets
of cookware, the food processor and the like as *shower* gifts. That's
just wrong, I tellya. Wrong. Lingerie showers were a lot more fun.

Gift registries for weddings used to be ONLY about china and sterling
and crystal patterns * the "niceties," not the necessities. And they
are never to be suggested by way of cards put in the wedding invitation
* Miss Manners has lots to say about that. Then Target made it really
easy for the Happy Couple to put together a Wish List by handing them a
portable scanning device so they could wander through the store and
decide they'd like this (sheets, pillowcases, casual dinnerware,
placemats), this (camping gear, wrenches, floor mats for the car, motor
oil, gas grills, charcoal grills), and this (board games, videos, CDs,
candles, books).

Then every merchant in town decided that they could increase their
business if they offered a gift registry service, too. The Thoughtful
Guest is supposed to ask the bride's mom or sister or maid of honor for
gift suggestions and the bride's mom, sister, or maid of honor is
supposed to say something like, "Oh, gosh, I don't know * but I think
she's registered at Target * or Crate & Barrel, Williams-Sonoma,
Dayton's (sorry, it will ALWAYS be Dayton's), Ace Hardware, AND First
National, where they've established an account to fund their honeymoon
trip that we refused to pay for because they're both 33 years old,
working at jobs that provide medical insurance, and they've got more
money than WE have. (Bride's mom probably doesn't say ALL that, but
I'll bet she thinks it.)

Back in the day there was a strange notion that one didn't marry unless
one could afford to establish and furnish ones own household without the
help of others even if it meant second-hand furniture and furnishings.

That was then; this is now.

I'd hope to have a nice dessert at bridal or baby shower. Maybe one of
these:

{ Exported from MasterCook Mac }

Never mind it's got instant pudding and a store-bought angel food cake -
who bakes angel food cake anymore?

Cherry Angel Dessert

Recipe By: Posted to rec.food.cooking by Barb Schaller, 4-27-2007
Serving Size: 12

1 10" angel food cake cubed
1 can Wilderness cherry pie filling (20 oz.)
1 pkg. instant vanilla pudding
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup sour cream

Make layer of cake cubes in 9x13² pan. Spoon cherry pie filling over
layer. Add another layer of cake cubes. Beat pudding, milk, and sour
cream together until smooth. Spoon over top; chill 5 hours.

‹‹‹‹‹
Notes: Sara, 1970s.
_____


{ Exported from MasterCook Mac }

This is nice with a scoop or three of frozen yogurt. It's almost enough
to make a person feel virtuous.

Died-and-Went-to-Heaven Chocolate Cake

Recipe By: posted again to r.f.cooking by Barb Schaller, 4-27-2007
Serving Size: 16

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup Dutch-process cocoa powder
1 1/2 tsp. soda
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
1 cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs lightly beaten
1/4 cup vegetable oil canola preferred
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup hot strong black coffee
Icing:
1 cup confectioners sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 Tbsp. buttermilk or low-fat milk (1 to 2)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly oil a 12-cup Bundt pan or coat it
with non stick cooking spray. Dust the pan with flour, invert and shake
out the excess.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together flour, granulated sugar, cocoa
powder, soda, baking powder, and salt. Add buttermilk, brown sugar,
eggs, oil and vanilla; beat with an electric mixer on medium speed for 2
minutes. Whisk in hot coffee until completely incorporated. (The
batter will be quite thin.) Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake for
35-40 minutes or until a cake tester inserted in the center comes out
clean. Cool the cake in the pan on a rack for 10 minutes; remove from
pan and let cool completely.

To make icing: In a small bowl, whisk together confectioners¹ sugar,
vanilla, and enough of the buttermilk or milk to make a thick but
pourable icing. Set the cake on a serving plate and drizzle the icing
over the top.

‹‹‹‹‹
Notes: Eating Well magazine, April 1995, page 14. Ramona Stranberg
brought it into the office, July 1997. Awesome stuff. Didn¹t use Dutch
process cocoa first time I made it. Used a cup of hot coffee with
instant coffee powder added in.
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.mac.com/barbschaller - blahblahblog - Orange Honey
Garlic Chicken, 3-29-2007
jamlady.eboard.com
http:/http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amytaylor/

Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> In article >,
> "Davlo" > wrote:
>
>> "elaine" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> At the end it says "Please bring a gift for the bedroom".
>>>
>>> So I'm thinking about what kind of spin I can put on this kitchen
>>> gift......
>>
>>
>> I'm surprised at the downright rudeness of the people making a
>> request for what type of gift they want you to get! That's about as
>> crass as one can get. If you feel that you want to give them the
>> things you bought, then give them. That's the whole concept of
>> GIVING!! It's not about asking. I'm sorry, but those people are
>> waaaayyy out of line with that invite.
>
> Nah, bridal showers and baby showers are different. Their *purpose*
> is to give gifts to the guest of honor * to *shower* her/them with
> things. And to have a light meal (if it was a meal time event) or
> coffee and dessert (if it was not meal time). And to visit with
> friends and maybe family you hadn't seen in a long time.
>
> My beef is that shower gifts used to be small gifts * if it was a
> kitchen shower (yes, there was almost always a theme and everyone knew
> it; nothing crass about it), dish towels, vegetable peelers, pot
> scrubbies (cute ones, not icky steel wool ones), pot holders,
> strainers, were the order of the day. Maybe a saucer in her "good
> china" pattern. Incidental stuff, not the Cuisinart or coffeemaker or
> mixer that one would give as the wedding gift. "Nowadays" I've
> seen brides get sets of cookware, the food processor and the like as
> *shower* gifts. That's just wrong, I tellya. Wrong. Lingerie
> showers were a lot more fun.
>
I totally agree. Used to be small items; that way you could get a lot of
little but useful things for the kitchen or bath. When my former supervisor
got engaged the company threw her a bridal shower. There was an email
invitation sent out which also stated where she was registered. Included on
the list was an all-in-one coffee maker with a built-in grinder/cappucino
machine/milk steamer. I think that thing was listed at close to $500!
Utterly Ridiculous!

Jill

Melba's Jammin' wrote on 27 Apr 2007 in rec.food.cooking

> Lingerie showers were a lot more fun.
>
>

Pray Tell on which occassion is a lingerie shower thrown...? I can see the
need for bridal and baby showers...But going 'professional' can't be the
reason for a shower can it?