Julie Bove > wrote:
: My birthday is coming up and once again there is the fight with my mom over
: what kind of cake or whatever I want. Every year since I was able to talk,
: I said I didn't want anything. And I truly did not! I have hardly ever
: eaten dessert. Don't like it. Don't want it. Don't need it! I have never
: ever liked cake *or* ice cream. Never!

: When I was a kid I would try to placate her by choosing something that
: looked pretty and hoping it would taste as good. It never did. I never
: liked it and she was always angry.

: As an adult I think she finally got the fact that I didn't like cake or ice
: cream but never got the fact that I truly didn't want anything. So some
: years it was pie. Another year it was cookies and strawberries. I always
: seemed to have to pick something for us to eat.

: Then as a diabetic I tried to impress on her that my diabetes doesn't go
: away. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I can eat that which I
: shouldn't. Yes, I know some people here would disagree but that's how I
: feel about it and I want her to know this. But apparently she does not.

: A few years ago when she put out cake for the rest of the people, she gave
: me bean dip and chips because she knows I like them. I started to cry. I
: was soooo angry! How many times can you tell a person that you don't want
: anything to eat!

: So now this year the big question rolls around again. We are combining my
: birthday with Father's day (which is really today) this year. My SIL's
: parents are in bad shape for various reasons and she just can't take the
: time out to do two celebrations. So I told my mom just to get whatever the
: other people want. Truly I would like it if none of us ate a dessert. That
: is what would *really* make me happy! But they don't get it, won't ever get
: it and frankly I think they are unwilling to do that. Yes, my dad is also a
: diabetic but on this day he will have a piece or a scoop or whatever of
: everything being served, including whatever gluten free thing I make for
: Angela. Which this time around will be yellow cake with white icing. She
: chose the mix.

: So once again when I told my mom I didn't want anything, her reply was.
: "Well, you want SOMETHING! Nuts?"

: And I was like... Gaaaaaaaaaaah! No! I replied really loudly, "I don't
: eat between meals. I don't EVER eat between meals. And I'm not going to
: start now! I don't want ANYTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!" And certainly not
: nuts. She will buy roasted cashews thinking that I love them. And I do
: like most nuts but I hate, hate, hate roasted cashews! I can eat raw
: cashews but not roasted ones. And I know better than to tell her something,
: anything because then I will be expected to eat it. Last year I finally
: told my dad if I did eat anything it would be strawberries. This after the
: two of them badgering me over and over to try to come up with something I
: wanted to eat. Well I didn't want the strawberries and I didn't eat them
: and they got mad.

: Now yes at home I do sometimes (but not often) eat between meals. Might be
: a piece of cheese or a few nuts and once in a while even a potato chip or a
: few pretzels. But I don't do it just because I can! I do it because I am
: too hungry to wait until dinner or because I know I am going to have a much
: delayed dinner and don't want my BG to drop or as is usual in my case, rise
: from the lack of food. I would never do it because it was a birthday and I
: felt the need to sit around a table and sing and eat something.

: I will be 52 soon. So I've probably been going through this for 52 years.
: Yes, I started to talk early on. Why is it some people just don't believe
: you when you tell them something? It is frustrating. I went through
: something similar with my husband's aunt and I finally just ate a grape
: tomato to shut her up. I feel like if I'm not hungry I shouldn't be
: pressured to eat. I mean...jeez. It's not like I'm underweight or anything
: like that.
How about a bottle of Scotch?:-)
Share with everybody and no one will care!

Wendy

On Mon, 20 Jun 2011 12:33:19 -0400, W. Baker wrote
(in article >):

> Julie Bove > wrote:
>> My birthday is coming up and once again there is the fight with my mom over
>> what kind of cake or whatever I want. Every year since I was able to talk,
>> I said I didn't want anything. And I truly did not! I have hardly ever
>> eaten dessert. Don't like it. Don't want it. Don't need it! I have
>> never
>> ever liked cake *or* ice cream. Never!
>
>> When I was a kid I would try to placate her by choosing something that
>> looked pretty and hoping it would taste as good. It never did. I never
>> liked it and she was always angry.
>
>> As an adult I think she finally got the fact that I didn't like cake or ice
>> cream but never got the fact that I truly didn't want anything. So some
>> years it was pie. Another year it was cookies and strawberries. I always
>> seemed to have to pick something for us to eat.
>
>> Then as a diabetic I tried to impress on her that my diabetes doesn't go
>> away. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I can eat that which I
>> shouldn't. Yes, I know some people here would disagree but that's how I
>> feel about it and I want her to know this. But apparently she does not.
>
>> A few years ago when she put out cake for the rest of the people, she gave
>> me bean dip and chips because she knows I like them. I started to cry. I
>> was soooo angry! How many times can you tell a person that you don't want
>> anything to eat!
>
>> So now this year the big question rolls around again. We are combining my
>> birthday with Father's day (which is really today) this year. My SIL's
>> parents are in bad shape for various reasons and she just can't take the
>> time out to do two celebrations. So I told my mom just to get whatever the
>> other people want. Truly I would like it if none of us ate a dessert.
>> That
>> is what would *really* make me happy! But they don't get it, won't ever
>> get
>> it and frankly I think they are unwilling to do that. Yes, my dad is also
>> a
>> diabetic but on this day he will have a piece or a scoop or whatever of
>> everything being served, including whatever gluten free thing I make for
>> Angela. Which this time around will be yellow cake with white icing. She
>> chose the mix.
>
>> So once again when I told my mom I didn't want anything, her reply was.
>> "Well, you want SOMETHING! Nuts?"
>
>> And I was like... Gaaaaaaaaaaah! No! I replied really loudly, "I don't
>> eat between meals. I don't EVER eat between meals. And I'm not going to
>> start now! I don't want ANYTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!" And certainly not
>> nuts. She will buy roasted cashews thinking that I love them. And I do
>> like most nuts but I hate, hate, hate roasted cashews! I can eat raw
>> cashews but not roasted ones. And I know better than to tell her
>> something,
>> anything because then I will be expected to eat it. Last year I finally
>> told my dad if I did eat anything it would be strawberries. This after the
>> two of them badgering me over and over to try to come up with something I
>> wanted to eat. Well I didn't want the strawberries and I didn't eat them
>> and they got mad.
>
>> Now yes at home I do sometimes (but not often) eat between meals. Might be
>> a piece of cheese or a few nuts and once in a while even a potato chip or a
>> few pretzels. But I don't do it just because I can! I do it because I am
>> too hungry to wait until dinner or because I know I am going to have a much
>> delayed dinner and don't want my BG to drop or as is usual in my case, rise
>> from the lack of food. I would never do it because it was a birthday and I
>> felt the need to sit around a table and sing and eat something.
>
>> I will be 52 soon. So I've probably been going through this for 52 years.
>> Yes, I started to talk early on. Why is it some people just don't believe
>> you when you tell them something? It is frustrating. I went through
>> something similar with my husband's aunt and I finally just ate a grape
>> tomato to shut her up. I feel like if I'm not hungry I shouldn't be
>> pressured to eat. I mean...jeez. It's not like I'm underweight or
>> anything
>> like that.
> How about a bottle of Scotch?:-)
> Share with everybody and no one will care!
>
> Wendy
>
>

Perfect!

TaniO

"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Julie Bove > wrote:
> : My birthday is coming up and once again there is the fight with my mom
> over
> : what kind of cake or whatever I want. Every year since I was able to
> talk,
> : I said I didn't want anything. And I truly did not! I have hardly ever
> : eaten dessert. Don't like it. Don't want it. Don't need it! I have
> never
> : ever liked cake *or* ice cream. Never!
>
> : When I was a kid I would try to placate her by choosing something that
> : looked pretty and hoping it would taste as good. It never did. I never
> : liked it and she was always angry.
>
> : As an adult I think she finally got the fact that I didn't like cake or
> ice
> : cream but never got the fact that I truly didn't want anything. So some
> : years it was pie. Another year it was cookies and strawberries. I
> always
> : seemed to have to pick something for us to eat.
>
> : Then as a diabetic I tried to impress on her that my diabetes doesn't go
> : away. Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I can eat that which I
> : shouldn't. Yes, I know some people here would disagree but that's how I
> : feel about it and I want her to know this. But apparently she does not.
>
> : A few years ago when she put out cake for the rest of the people, she
> gave
> : me bean dip and chips because she knows I like them. I started to cry.
> I
> : was soooo angry! How many times can you tell a person that you don't
> want
> : anything to eat!
>
> : So now this year the big question rolls around again. We are combining
> my
> : birthday with Father's day (which is really today) this year. My SIL's
> : parents are in bad shape for various reasons and she just can't take the
> : time out to do two celebrations. So I told my mom just to get whatever
> the
> : other people want. Truly I would like it if none of us ate a dessert.
> That
> : is what would *really* make me happy! But they don't get it, won't ever
> get
> : it and frankly I think they are unwilling to do that. Yes, my dad is
> also a
> : diabetic but on this day he will have a piece or a scoop or whatever of
> : everything being served, including whatever gluten free thing I make for
> : Angela. Which this time around will be yellow cake with white icing.
> She
> : chose the mix.
>
> : So once again when I told my mom I didn't want anything, her reply was.
> : "Well, you want SOMETHING! Nuts?"
>
> : And I was like... Gaaaaaaaaaaah! No! I replied really loudly, "I
> don't
> : eat between meals. I don't EVER eat between meals. And I'm not going
> to
> : start now! I don't want ANYTHING. NOTHING AT ALL!" And certainly not
> : nuts. She will buy roasted cashews thinking that I love them. And I do
> : like most nuts but I hate, hate, hate roasted cashews! I can eat raw
> : cashews but not roasted ones. And I know better than to tell her
> something,
> : anything because then I will be expected to eat it. Last year I finally
> : told my dad if I did eat anything it would be strawberries. This after
> the
> : two of them badgering me over and over to try to come up with something
> I
> : wanted to eat. Well I didn't want the strawberries and I didn't eat
> them
> : and they got mad.
>
> : Now yes at home I do sometimes (but not often) eat between meals. Might
> be
> : a piece of cheese or a few nuts and once in a while even a potato chip
> or a
> : few pretzels. But I don't do it just because I can! I do it because I
> am
> : too hungry to wait until dinner or because I know I am going to have a
> much
> : delayed dinner and don't want my BG to drop or as is usual in my case,
> rise
> : from the lack of food. I would never do it because it was a birthday
> and I
> : felt the need to sit around a table and sing and eat something.
>
> : I will be 52 soon. So I've probably been going through this for 52
> years.
> : Yes, I started to talk early on. Why is it some people just don't
> believe
> : you when you tell them something? It is frustrating. I went through
> : something similar with my husband's aunt and I finally just ate a grape
> : tomato to shut her up. I feel like if I'm not hungry I shouldn't be
> : pressured to eat. I mean...jeez. It's not like I'm underweight or
> anything
> : like that.
> How about a bottle of Scotch?:-)
> Share with everybody and no one will care!

I can't drink alcohol! And nobody in my family drinks Scotch. Nobody
really drinks much of any liquor at all!

On 21/06/2011 6:58 AM, Julie Bove wrote:

>
> I can't drink alcohol! And nobody in my family drinks Scotch. Nobody
> really drinks much of any liquor at all!
>
>

You really take the cake, some of us no longer have a caring mother
wanting to make something special on what to them is a special day, wake
up, you say you're 50 and still acting like some petulant child, it's
not *ALWAYS* about you, sometimes it's about others, wonder what your
child thinks about this and in the future when your mother is no longer
around, will you be complaining to others that you child never wants to
do anything for you. No answer required, I could write your answer
myself :-)

--
(- -)
=m=(_)=m=
RodS T2
Australia

"RodS" > wrote in message ...
> On 21/06/2011 6:58 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>
>>
>> I can't drink alcohol! And nobody in my family drinks Scotch. Nobody
>> really drinks much of any liquor at all!
>>
>>
>
> You really take the cake, some of us no longer have a caring mother
> wanting to make something special on what to them is a special day, wake
> up, you say you're 50 and still acting like some petulant child, it's not
> *ALWAYS* about you, sometimes it's about others, wonder what your child
> thinks about this and in the future when your mother is no longer around,
> will you be complaining to others that you child never wants to do
> anything for you. No answer required, I could write your answer myself :-)

My mother wasn't going to *make* me anything. She doesn't cook! She would
have ordered a cake from somewhere. I am diabetic. My brother is diabetic.
My dad is diabetic. I have seen my mom's labs and I believe *she* is
diabetic but in denial. My nephew and his GF don't like sweets. My SIL was
pre-diabetic. That had gone away when she lost over half of her body
weight. However she is going through a very stressful time and appears to
be gaining it back rapidly. So that leaves Angela. She can't eat whatever
my mom would provide. So I have to bring something for her anyway because
otherwise she would have nothing.

The way I see it, nobody needs anything sweet. They just don't! However
since we are combining this with Father's Day I think *he* should have the
option of having whatever he wants to eat for dessert. I simply have never
liked dessert. Not as a kid. Not as a teen. Not as an adult. And no not
as a diabetic.

Why is it so wrong to not want cake and ice cream? I don't get it. I guess
I never will.

"atec77" > wrote in message
...
> On 21/06/2011 3:22 PM, RodS wrote:
>> On 21/06/2011 6:58 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> I can't drink alcohol! And nobody in my family drinks Scotch. Nobody
>>> really drinks much of any liquor at all!
>>>
>>>
>>
>> You really take the cake, some of us no longer have a caring mother
>> wanting to make something special on what to them is a special day, wake
>> up, you say you're 50 and still acting like some petulant child, it's
>> not *ALWAYS* about you, sometimes it's about others, wonder what your
>> child thinks about this and in the future when your mother is no longer
>> around, will you be complaining to others that you child never wants to
>> do anything for you. No answer required, I could write your answer
>> myself :-)
>>
> Her little dummy spite over being loved is a prime example of why I
> plonked her ages ago , so lucky to have a Mother who cares and she gets
> abusive about it , so ++1 on your post om

Just my opinion, but if she truly cared she would listen to what it is I've
been saying for 51 years. But she doesn't.

On Tue, 21 Jun 2011 15:22:14 +1000, RodS wrote:

> On 21/06/2011 6:58 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>
>
>> I can't drink alcohol! And nobody in my family drinks Scotch. Nobody
>> really drinks much of any liquor at all!
>>
>>
>>
> You really take the cake, some of us no longer have a caring mother
> wanting to make something special on what to them is a special day, wake
> up, you say you're 50 and still acting like some petulant child, it's
> not *ALWAYS* about you, sometimes it's about others, wonder what your
> child thinks about this and in the future when your mother is no longer
> around, will you be complaining to others that you child never wants to
> do anything for you. No answer required, I could write your answer
> myself :-)

We're all different, Rod - my later mother finally realized and
*accepted* that I wasn't her little boy anymore when my first
granddaughter was born. It could be difficult to keep her at arm's length
at times, making sure our home was *our* home and not her second home.
At least my wife and I learned NOT to hang on to our children at all
costs - just be there for them whenever needed, and let *them* decide
when it was needed.