Christmas Cookie Rules...

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no
calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus
calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also
has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the
cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you 're making your Christmas cookies
and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend
' s first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be
rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are,
that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your
feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the
density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies
will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from
a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have
three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red
ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no
calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of
one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of
breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else ' s plate have no calories
since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to
their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because
cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!


So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of
year!

"Jacquie" > wrote in message
...
> Christmas Cookie Rules...
>
> 1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no
> calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and
> thus calorie free.
> 2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also
> has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the
> cookie calories.
>
> 3. If a friend comes over while you 're making your Christmas cookies
> and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your
> friend ' s first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It
> would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that
> you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
> 4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to
> your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and
> the density of the caloric mass.
> 5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies
> will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting
> from a knife without cutting your tongue.
>
> 6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones
> have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make
> more red ones!
>
> 7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no
> calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part
> of one's personal fuel.
>
> 8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of
> breaking causes calorie leakage.
>
> 9. Any cookies consumed from someone else ' s plate have no calories
> since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to
> their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!
>
> 10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories
> because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a
> rule!
>
>
> So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time
> of year!

My mom had several kinds of cookies, peach pie, fruit cake and carrot cake.
I might have eaten one of her cookies (store-bought but small) or a tiny
piece of fruitcake were I not allergic. Instead I ate a whole one of
Angela's cookies. They are free of allergens but contain soy. I must say I
didn't enjoy it and even felt rather sick in a strange way after eating it.
I do try to avoid soy. Not allergic but it messes with my thyroid. As I
ate it, I kept picturing the word "poison" in my mind, just like I did when
I was first diagnosed with diabetes.

I walked through the grocery store teary eyed, buying only a cabbage and
some diet soda because I couldn't determine if anything else was safe for me
to eat. I had just been to the dietician. I was pregnant and a vegetarian.
She led me to believe that something terrible would happen to me and/or the
baby if I didn't eat some meat and didn't eat some fat. At the time my diet
was really pretty low in fat. I never ate fried foods. Don't think I even
owned any olive or other oil. I did eat the occasional bag of microwave
popcorn (bad, I know), peanut butter and other nuts, whole eggs and
occasionally full fat cheese. And I added butter to a precious few recipes
like kidney bean rarebit. But she told me I had to eat non-fat cheese, low
fat peanut butter, and add margarine to my vegetables. I did try that
briefly but then decided it was a bunch of hooey and just went back to
eating the real thing.

Anyway, I just kept picturing the word "poison" and also a light green
soybean, working its way through my veins and stuff, messing with my
thyroid. I won't be eating those cookies again. They were waaaay too sweet
for my tastes anyway. Might have been okay without the frosting but not
sure. Angela likes them so that's all that matters.

I have gotten into the individually wrapped Lifesavers though. I bought a
bag of the Christmas flavors and also some Jolly Ranchers that I've been
leaving in the advent calendar when I remember to do so. Used to be I would
leave a candy for the following day but I keep forgetting. Angela caught me
trying to sneak a green apple Jolly Rancher in there so the jig is up for me
anyway.

It all started when I found a defective peppermint Lifesaver. These are the
hard candy type with red and white swirls. One little bag had only a tiny
piece of the candy in it. Like a chip. I decided to eat it. It was good.
The next day I put a cherry one in my mouth. It was a whole one. I sucked
on it three times then spit it into a Kleenex. Did the same thing the next
day with a lime one. So I've had my fix.