Herb Garden Sandra prepares a light menu using
loads of fresh herbs in this garden inspired meal.

Recipes:
Tuscan White Bean Spread
Herb Crusted Salmon with Sweet Corn and Mushrooms
Lime Souffle
Kiwi Kooler

SLop manages to make the bean dip out of fairly normal ingredients but
look like dog diarrhea, THEN adds yopgurt to it, THEN claims that the
olive oil "lifts" the bean dip.

SLop gives us a condescending dissertation on the difference between
French bread and the Italian bread she has in front of her, then says
"I'm going to slice this French bread...". She saws the breasd in half
lengthwise and then smears one half with "petso" and the other other
half with a jar of roasted garlic.

As SLop seasons the skin of the salmon with tarragon and a packet of
Italian seasoning (instead of what most people use, dill), SLop returns
to spinning tall tales about her fauxmily. This week, she claims "Scotty
goes to Alaska every summer to stay with his aunt and uncle and when he
returns he brings home his mom Kimber, the most beautiful King Salmon,
ever". Oh yeah, he also has a precious herb (heh heh heh) and vegetable
garden. This is the kid who plays junior high school football, right?
You know, the one she made the sissy smorgesborg for?

She served the salmon on a "kernel corn", canned mushroom, and canned
pimiento shitpile.

SLop made a soufle out of lime curd, some egg whites, and a cup of
snack pak pudding -- apparently SLop boned up on soufles, because she
FINALLY got one ingredient correct this time. Alas, she missed the part
about FOLDING the egg whites into the mixture, because she stirred it.
Naturally, the soufle didn't rise, resulting in crunchy lime pudding
(for that matter, I doubt it would work if they eggs had been
folded in).

SLop's kiwi cooler looked like lemon poppyseed dressing, except for the
large chunks that "plopped" into her glass when she poured it out of the
blender. Because SLop is a lush, she announced she was going to "put a
lil' cocktail" in her drink and added a "little" vanilla vodka.

This week's tablescape looked like some sort of overgrown jungle. I
guess that's a good thing, since it'll allow her guests to hide her
concoctions unseen. Unfortunately, she made herbal placecards for
all her guests out of cardstock with an herb and its qualities
glued to a wooden skewer and stuck in a small potted plant. SLop shows
us the one for sage and tries to subtley emphasise that it stands for
"wisdom". Yeah yeah, we know you're the smartest thing on the block
already. I wonder which unlucky guest got that "love and fertility"
one we kept seeing in the bumpers?


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of
Miss Lee.