We would all like Jeeves (or Bunter) to be serving us, quietly,
unobtrusively, and with psychic powers. I wonder what Jeeves' wages
were? Outside of *very* upscale restaurants, waitstaff is essentially
untrained outside something like the 'two bite rule' required by a
chain restaurant. For most servers, these are fill-in non-professional
jobs paying less than minimum wage. The quick adapters will realize
that they can make more money by being attentive. And the thoughtful
ones will devise some method (can't say what it might be) to judge
whether "is everything OK?" is attentive or obtrusive.

Having been on both sides of the table, I'm surprised there aren't
more incidents of "going restaurant" than "going postal." *We* are all
reasonable and polite and undemanding, and appreciative of good
service, but many aren't. And we don't complain when our mechanics or
plumbers are socially inept. Nor demand they observe some strict
protocol when attending to our needs. We're bloody grateful to *find*
a plumber or mechanic that will attend sometime sooner than a week
from next Tuesday. And we pay them enough to support a winter home in
the Bahamas.

Lighten up. :-)