Yes, I found it humorous.

Just a few comments and, as others, I don't mean to pick on you, just point
out some things. You seem overly concerned with sanitation. For instance,
if you had a carboy that you had just racked empty, it probably did not need
to be sanitized. After all, it had been sitting there soaking in alcohol.
Just rinse it and use it. Pouring wine over your hand it no problem
assuming you washed your hand when you started. After all most wines, other
than kits, have you stick your whole arm down in then to punch the cap down,
and you might even stomp the fruit with your feet. (That is not a joke.)
You mention cleaning a siphon rig. They are among the easiest to clean. As
soon as you use one, before the wine can dry on them, rinse them out. It is
now ready to use on the next batch. Again, you just ran alcohol solution
through it. All you want is to be sure than any particles do not dry and
stick to it. You can use it as many times as you want in a day and never
sanitize. Then and the end of all the uses, just pour a little sanitizing
solution into the tube and seal it by fitting the loose end onto the loose
end of the racking wand so it forms a continuous loop with the solution
inside. It will be clean and sanitized next time you need it. Just empty
it and rise as you would between uses during your raking.

As far as every thing else that happened -- no matter how you prepare you
will never be truly ready. After all "No one expects for the Spanish
Inquisition!"

Ray

"snpm" > wrote in message
oups.com...
> So the kids are in bed and its Crushendo racking night. And degassing
> night. I have obviously bought a whip degasser specially for the
> occasion. I have been moving bits of equipment into the bathroom all
> night in between gets the kids down to sleep, and I am all ready. I am
> totally organised. I even have the scissors that are going to cut the
> corner of the baggy of chitin sanitised. Oh yeah. My shit is wired so
> tight, I can actually relax.
>
> So I sanitise the whip degasser, add my sulphite and sorbate to the
> wine and we're in business....I get my drill and put it over the end
> of the degasser, and tighten up, righty tighty, righty tighty until it
> wont go any further. Then I carefully assist the end of the degasser
> into the wine. It becomes obvious that drills are righty tighty when
> you are looking into the drill bit hole, not down the shaft, when the
> entire degasser falls in my wine.
>
> And sinks.
>
> Not good.
>
> Including, of course, the part that has just whacked and clanked
> against my drill, which, obviously, has the usual grain-deep detritus
> of life as a drill all over it.
>
> I dash to sanitise my stirring spoon, and try to retreive the
> degasser.
>
> It is not going to happen.
>
> The degasser actually has a bung built onto it to prevent this exact
> calamity. Be sure and observe before you use yours that said bung is
> for a standard glass demijohn, not a wide mouthed better bottle.
> Slipped right in.
>
> There is now only one solution. I will have to sanitise another carboy
> as quick as poss and transfer the wine into that, retrieve the
> degasser then start again. Off to my wine room,.
>
> Out of carboys.
>
> Only one solution now, I dash to the kitchen, grab the carboy I just
> racked the wine out of (a better bottle, thank god...easy clean) and
> clean it frantically in the bath, resanitise it, and I am ready to go.
> Luckily I have racked into a lightweight better bottle, so I can hold
> the 6 gal carboy just enough to tip it into the funnel I will use to
> transfer it.
>
> Oh did I say I was strong enough to do that?
>
> As I start, I discover I am exactly one millionth of an ounce less
> strong than is actually required, and instead of the wine coming out
> the neck and into the funnel, the angle is just weak enough that the
> wine comes down the neck, over my completely unsanitised right hand
> holding the neck of the carboy, and then into the new sanitised
> vessel.
>
> This is bad.
>
> But not quite as bad as the fact that my right hand is also now slippy
> and wet with wine, and I lose more grip, and wine is dribbling over my
> slipping weakening hand all over the floor, causing me nearly to
> tears.
>
> I manage to bring my knees into play to assist the angle,
> accomplishing contortions any model for a book on the kama sutra would
> be proud of. I get the wine transferred.
>
> Obviously, it is nine PM, I have had less than six hours sleep per
> night because of sick kids the last two nights, and my wife is working
> her third twelve hour night shift, and I am promised and bound to be
> out of the bedroom (and en-suite where this occurred, now drenched in
> corvino) before she gets home at quarter after seven. And have cleaned
> up after myself.
>
> This is funny, right?
>