D.Currie wrote:

> The house is clean. Cleaner than mine, most days. As far as washing things,
> I don't know for sure. She like to have almost everything plated well ahead
> of guests' arrivals, and then she just microwaves what needs to be hot.


There do exist people who keep spotlessly clean homes and spotlessly
clean kitchens who just don't think it is important to wash their hands
after using the bathroom. Sometimes it is someone who used to wash
their hands but now has arthritis in their fingers such that it makes
holding soap or scrubbing fingernails difficult and painful.


The mystery here is what could be causing one person to get sick and not
others. Cleanliness issues would get to everyone. That's why I keep
going back to an artificial ingredient, maybe a sugar substitute. I'm
recalling a time when I was in elementary school. Dad came home with
some sort of lo-cal candy. We all ate it. Dad, my brother and I got
sick to our stomachs. Mom was fine.


But really, the etiquette question is the more interesting one. I doubt
that someone who likes you well enough to invite you over often wants
you to get sick. Could you explain the problem in neutral terms, say
that you're sensitive to an ingredient and ask about what it might be?
You wouldn't have to implicate your host's cooking or cleanliness, just
ask about recipes and procedures to try to spot the culprit.


--Lia