Bears get religion :


A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi
all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan
University in Marquette.

They would get together two or three times a
week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment
that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge
would
be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first.

"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I
found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear
wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly
grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he
became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him
first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone
oratory he declared, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I
went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear
from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I
took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED
him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as
gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in Fellowship, feasting
on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and
out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking
back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."