Thread: Fussy Eaters
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Posted to
Elaine Parrish
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Default Fussy Eaters

On Sun, 22 Jan 2006, jake wrote:

> Elaine Parrish wrote:
> > On Tue, 17 Jan 2006, jake wrote:
> >
> > The easiest thing to do is: when the waitperson approaches the table, say,
> > "I'd like a separate ticket, please".
> >
> > If you're sharing a pizza, announce: I'll toss in my share of the pizza.
> > Do the math and toss your share of the pizza into the center of the table.
> >
> > If they rib you about it, announce, jovially, when I start drinking as
> > much as you do, I'll pay as much as you do.
> >
> > or
> >
> > "Gee, do I look like the booze subsidy? ha ha.
> >
> > or
> >
> > haha. I'm only trying to help you guys out. I feel guilty helping to get
> > you drunk everytime we come here by subsidizing your booze bill.
> >
> > Or (As we say in the South), I didn't take you to raise (haha). If you're
> > gonna drink so much, you're going to have to pay for it yourself.
> >
> > Blow it off and move on - insisting on your own ticket.
> > If they can't deal with it, but you feel put upon by paying extra, find
> > some new friends.
> >
> > I'm old and blunt. Life is too short to feel "buyer's remorse" when you've
> > let yourself be put in a situation that isn't right by people who are
> > doing the wrong thing. Stand up for what is fair here. If they have a
> > problem with it, then they aren't "friends" worth having. If you value
> > their brand of friendship more than the money it costs you, then accept
> > that as the price of the friendship and don't allow any buyer's remorse.
> >
> > Elaine, too
> >

> Elaine, thank you so much for coming up with all these diffrent
> suggestions. I'll be going on a short trip with the group of people in
> question. If this issue should come up, I'll have some new approachjes
> to try. One way or another, I am ok with paying more than my share on
> occasion. It doens't feel right if ti happens on every occasion.
> I will be doing the advance shopping for food etc. This time there won't
> be many meals eaten out, if any. Simply because it's more relaxing than
> having to go find a restaurant after a strenous day of skiing. Skiing!
> It will be my first time, I am very excited. And the cottage has a
> fireplace. Hot chocolate and rum will be on the grocery list
> Thanks again for your thoughts, I appreciate them.

You're welcome. I hope you find a solution that makes you comfortable.
That's what's important. Humor or lightheartedness can help difuse a
difficult social situation.

I don't like check-splitting (except under certain circumstances). Here,
the waitperson usually says, "Will this be one ticket?" Phrased that way,
the PC answer is "yes". To pipe up and say "no" sounds like you are
saying, "What? Are you crazy? Do I look like I would want to trust this
person to split the bill fairly???"

So, I've found saying, "separate", without hesitation (and before anybody
else says "yes" simply based on the way it sounds) works well. Most people
as just as happy, if not more so, to have their own ticket. I've never had
anybody say, "Geez, I'm offended by that!" Of course, It helps if this can
be established the first time out with anybody. It's harder to do later

Have a great time skiing. Got crockpot? And, *don't* break a leg.

Elaine, too