As a PTO president, I am always looking to involve other erstwhile
volunteers so that I don't have to do as much real work. For some
events that works the charm. At others, well... I'm the chairman
and several volunteers.

Don't get me wrong: I like volunteering!

I volunteer for two reasons. First -- and foremost -- I keep
myself informed of all-things school-related. Secondly, I have
enough ego (and id) to reach out to my daughter-units' community
to [hopefully] make a difference. (It helps being an axe murdering
psycho, too.)

In 2004, right as the school year let out, a dad (an Ex-Software
Engineer [ESE]) walked up to me and started visibly grousing about
how his PTO didn't meet his specific needs. "Dammit! They're a
clique! They don't listen to anyone but the 'inner crowd.'"

Since I was actively involved in our community outreach program
that year (which turned numbers triple those of previous years), I
was concerned by this arm-chair criticism.

"Really? Like what?"

"The Group, you know, the same Power Families that work their
wiles every year, didn't 'hear' anything that was submitted for
this year."

"Like what? Please! Let me know. I _know_ the pres! He's willing
to listen -- especially since I have his ear!"

"You do? I was told he's process-driven and only cares about how
things are done?"

"Shee-it... You're an ex-engineer. Is there anything beyond
process?"

"Well, yes. There's the people. Their feelings and desires. If the
management doesn't listen, then the people won't implement the
requests!"

"Ah... Gotchya!"

"Anyways... The Anus* is good for key projects but sucks as a
manager. He's a Carly and Gates and Jobs, only their worst
traits..."

"Go on." I was actually loving every minute of my anonymity.

"So," ESE groused, "he sits in his ivory tower making
prognostications and rolling his 4-sided die** in the hopes that
he figures out the 'best' guess. Why doesn't he effin' asked the
community? THEY'D tell 'im!"

"Really?" I look at ESE and gauged his 6'2", 276 lb frame. "My
name is '[The].' '[The Ranger]' and I have to tell you that _you_
are the _first_ person to talk to me like I was part of the
community! For that... I THANK YOU! I'm very concerned about that
POV! Please, if you're able, continue."

"You're... I... I... I... I didn't mean to tell you..."

"Stop." I held up my hands pleadingly. "Please." ESE's jaw loudly
clicked shut. "Do I," I smiled, "have Death," and I looked over my
right shoulder, "hovering right here? No. I'm half your weight and
half your height. There's not much I _could_ do to you -- even if
I wanted."

ESE smiled.

"So... I've heard your concerns. I'm REALLY interested in them. My
only concern is that I haven't seen you at ANY of our meetings,
PTO or otherwise, and simply wonder if it's an oversight on my
part. If not, then I invite you to our next meeting and hope that
you'll address these same concerns there. If you haven't been to
any meetings, then I INVITE you to attend and I'll pick you up
prior to it."

"Well..."

"No 'well.' I'll pick you up!"

"Uhm..."

"Great!" I exclaimed and reached for his hand. "I appreciate your
honesty and willingness to volunteer! I will make SURE you won't
regret this!***"

The Ranger


* A particular orifice of small design used to evacuate waste
material and excess food products.
** AD&D reference
*** He did. He's now the daughter-units' PTO prez.