Signs found in non-English speaking countries:
(filched from Cindy Adams column)

"Norway cocktail lounge: Ladies requested not to have children in the
bar. Budapest zoo: Do not feed animals. If you have suitable food, give
to guard on duty. Rome doctor's office: Specialist in women and other
diseases. Hong Kong dentist's office: Teeth extracted by the latest
Methodists. Japan air-condition manual: Cools, heats. For condition of
warm air, control yourself. Nairobi restaurant: Customers who find
waitresses rude ought to see the manager. Mumbai restaurant: Open seven
days a week. Weekends, too. Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies
with nuts. Kyoto hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the
chambermaid. Moscow cemetery: Welcome to where famous writers are
buried daily except Thursday. Yokohama cemetery: Persons prohibited
from picking flowers except from own graves. Italy laundry: Ladies,
leave your clothes here and spend the day having a good time.
Czechoslovakia tourist office: Take our horse-drawn drive. Guarantee no
miscarriages. Copenhagen airline office: We take your bags and send
them in all directions. Zurich hotel: Due to impropriety of
entertaining guests of the opposite sex in your room, the lobby may be
used for this purpose.

Nancree