On Thu 28 Apr 2005 04:39:34p, Ranee Mueller wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> In article .com>,
> "aem" > wrote:
>
>> I was expecting to get other people's stories of turning out something
>> entertaining on short notice. Frankly, I'm surprised at the vehemence
>> with which some say, "no way!" Every relationship is different, I
>> suppose. -aem
>
> I'm with you. I'm in no way a doormat, but there are some things I
> just figure you cope with occasionally. I don't think Rich has ever
> forgotten to tell me that someone was coming to dinner, but then, I
> wouldn't really keep track anyway. It wouldn't throw me that much, both
> because if he forgot, I think I'm big enough to forgive him, and because
> he would be home helping me tackle it, at least with some ideas if not
> actual cooking labor. It seems to me a lot of people think that
> someone's slip up is an indication that they disrespect the other. They
> aren't necessarily equivalent, but I think that's what a lot of the
> 50/50 arrangements in marriage produce, I do this, so you do that, and
> you'd better not do this or I'll do that. We just do what needs to be
> done and are both pretty appreciative of the other's work.
>
> Also, I think there are times that Rich comes home from work, maybe
> thinking that he will have me and the kids to himself and a friend of
> mine is there, doesn't faze him. We like our home to be a place people
> can come to and we don't freak out about it too much, even if it isn't
> as clean as we'd like.
>
> Regards,
> Ranee

Ranee, you and Rich seem to have a very equitable and understanding
relationship with fairneww and tradeoffs. This is not what I sense from
the OP. What I would not appreciate are spur of the moment invitations
which were not "forgotten" and essentially making my participation a
command performance. ("Up for the challenge", my a$$. I will not be
walked on.)

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
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Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974