Lewis Perin wrote:

> And today's prize goes to the poster who transforms the above
> into text suitable for a horror novel (e.g. Stephen King) with
> the fewest changes.

"The delicate pitter patter of the rain outside is soothing as it
gently touches down. You settle into the best seat in the house
and you can practically hear the steam rise from your cup. You
smile in anticipation of the silky smoothness of Cafe Francais.
You sip and just for a few moments your mind takes over and you
realize completely that your life, your family, your friends, your
job, everything is nothing but lies you've been forced to swallow,
just like the phony tinned instant coffee you swallow now. Well,
no more. Tomorrow you buy tea. And a gun. You smile in
anticipation.

--crymad