st.helier wrote:
> "Mat" (the geographically challenged) spluttered........ ;-))
>
>
>>New Zealand is a remote wind-swept iceberg island floating largely
>>unnoticed off the mainland (Australia).
>>
>
>
> Matthew, weren't you listening during Miss Annie Dogbreath's catch-up class?
>
> Island (singular)? Nope - in fact more islands (plural) than Australia.
> Iceberg???? At least we have real mountains (not just an insignificant pile
> of excrement which Australians call "The Snow", downloaded from Canberra) -
> with real snow and glaciers; and real volcanic eruptions and real
> earthquakes, designed to scare the s**t out of whimpy Strine visitors!
> Remote? Yes, but not quite remote enough. By % of populations, their are
> more Australians living in NZ than the reverse.
> Un-noticed - because your paranoiac attention is always directed north
> (still expected the yellow peril) whereas the true secret to Australia's
> wealth lies 1,600km to the East. We give you two hours notice every day that
> the sun will rise, elsewise, you would remain half asleep - dreaming of
> sheep.
>
> You see, Matthew, whereas NZ does farm sheep, and lots of them. it was
> Australia which was a penal colony where men outnumbered women 10:1, that a
> preoccupation with sheep was formed, so strong that your countries national
> song, (about a sheep named Matilda) mourns the life of an unemployed bum,
> who when caught "jumbucking" his beloved ewe, chose to drown himself, rather
> than live without his precious Matilda.
>
>
>>I believe they conduct hazardous medical research and have quarantine
>>stations there or something.
>
>
> Huh! Wasn't the Australians who bent over and let the Poms screw them into
> allowing the conducting of British, above-ground nuclear tests in downtown
> Adelaide?
>
> Any correspondence regarding Australia should be directed to their head
> office in Washington !!!!!
>
> Deep down, all NZers have a loathing of Australians. The lay claim to our
> icons (Phar Lap! Pavlova! Split Enz!); they will resort to cheating lest
> they should lose any sporting competition to their peaceful neighbour with
> 1/5th of the population (I told you not to mention the cricket!); and, as
> expected from a nation whose initial (European) were criminals, they are not
> to be trusted either in trade, or with your women!!!!
>
> BUT!!!!!
>
> Remember this - we are brothers! You pick a fight with one, you pick a fight
> with both.
>
> It was Irwin Rommel (that admirable WW2, German General) who once said "Give
> me one million ANZACs, and I will conquer the world!"
>
> --
>
> st.helier
>
>

Yes well I believe the correct term is inferiority complex. Most
Australians could not give two stuffs about NZ except when we are
playing them at tiddlewinks or some such sport they spend their entire
time trying to beat us at [so far rugby union appears to be the only
sport NZ puts up a decent contest in], and which only a devoted few play
at, rather than the entire nation. Rugby union for example is played by
a small number of private school old boys in two out of 7 states or
territories. It is a national craze in NZ, and defines much of their
national ethos and culture.

Whilst NZ seems to spend an awful lot of time worrying about us, in the
same manner as such colossal nations as Nauru, Solomon Islands etc.
Which should put that particular statement in context. I wonder how much
aid relief we pass on to our cousins in economically ravaged NZ [we seem
to be a job placement agency for NZ]. Well we also seem to love NZ
refugees [if sadly none from anywhere else].

I think NZ could regard Australia as the mother country. :->

There are somewhere in the vacinity of 3 billion asians to our north,
something like 4 million Nuw Zulundurs to the Ust. Plus 1 million+ NZ
citizens and their spawn over here.

As any returnee from the land of the long white cloud will tell you,
nice place to visit, but wouldn't want to live there. And I think you
may find many of the "Australians" living over there are actually of NZ
heritage [I myself know many ppl who have no NZ status, yet have strong
blood ties]. I don't particuarly like the cold, which rules me out, and
if I wanted an authentic NZ experience I could just move to Tasmania
[that's not strictly true, I would love to visit NZ]. Plus we have snow
in NSW, Victoria, Tasmania too JFYI. Antartica has a lot of snow, I hear
the climate there is roughly the same as NZ.

Waltzing Matilda I think you may have slightly misinterpreted the
lyrics. As for nuclear testing, NZ's protests did not seem to bother the
French, Americans and British testing in the pacific, and the French
chose your country to do its dirty work [I agree, a dispicable act],
rather than ours. In fact up until recently, we had quite a strong
relationship with the DSD, the French secret service, but our current
government seems to have deliberately poisoned that one [yes yes, they
rang Dubya and asked him what to do]. O and the mossad seem to have
developed a taste for doing dirty business in NZ as well. Probably hoped
that sheep witnesses wouldn't tell anyone, no people around to see what
they are up to.

And as for international profile, well Phar Lap, the Finn brothers,
pavlova and Russell Crowe [I'd claim the first two, but not the last two
if I were you] have all renounced their citizenship of NZ. And o the
bevvy of internationally renouned NZers, why there's ummmm, well
ummmmmm, ummmmmm help me out here! ;->


Ahh I could go on and on sticking the gum-boot in [well normally you
stick it in the gumboot, another classic NZ joke (Why do New Zealanders
wear gumboots [[visual action required]])], but easy targets aren't as
challenging! ;-)

We have I think a big brother / little brother, or big dog / little dog
relationship. We're bound by blood and history and will never be apart,
but the little one is always niggling away, whilst the big one
[Australia] finds the little one a minor annoyance that must be attended
to from time to time, but we really wish they'd find their own way in
the world and stop trying to ride our train. Always trying to hand round
with us and our friends, always trying to get involved in our
activities, sometimes Mum and Dad make us take you, and we spend the day
torturing you. Any chance the little one gets to needle the big one and
run off they do.

If you have any brothers you will know what I'm talking about.



So yus, Nuw Zulund us our luttle bruthur bro, und we du luve thuse
luttle kuwi buggurs bro. ;-)

Mat.


btw: Andrew, I still have not recieved my NZ sponsored compensation wine.