On Sun, 26 Dec 2004 13:52:16 -0500, Dave Smith >
wrote:

>You can always lie. I did my family duty and went to Christmas dinner at my
>brother's because my mother's health is not good and this may be her last
>Christmas. So I got to spend the evening with a clinically depressed brother,
>his dullard wife and socially retarded 31 year old son. I am grateful that my
>wife came along and indulged my family. My other two brothers would not go
>because they despise the host and hostess. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
>I had my son come down to join us. When my mother is no longer around for
>Christmas I will be making excuses. It's a special time of year and I really
>hate spending it with the depressed family when I could be having a better time
>with other family members, even in-laws.

Amen. Our family started to fall apart when my mom passed. Once Dad was
gone, the three of us kids have never spent a single holiday together. It
really isn't any loss, because we have nothing in common except that we
were all born to the same couple. My brother is a hopeless alcoholic, and
my sister is in denial about her schizophrenia and refuses to take her
meds. It would be a wonderful day, wouldn't it?

I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has agreed
to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the loneliness
for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>

There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree that
you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
You'd really regret it if you didn't.

Little Orphan Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_