(Had this been a real Click-bait test, you all would have failed).

A couple months ago they had "Sweet Earth" entrees for $1/each (up
to 80% off). I looked at each of them and decided they weren't even
worth the $1.

https://www.goodnes.com/sweet-earth/

But this week they had a coupon for 100% off (Limit 1 electronic
coupon). So I "bought" the 2-pack of 1/4lb "Bacon Burgers with
Benovelent Bacon(tm)". Normally they cost $6 without 100% coupon.

First, the bacon:

https://i.postimg.cc/qRwwL008/Backup-Bacon.jpg

If you're vegan, that looks pretty ****ing good, eh? That's because
this is one of the products in my new line of foods called "Backup
Bacon(tm)" which I'm marketing to gullible dumshits that buy vegan
foods named after meat products expecting them to taste like meat.

THIS is what the Sweet Earth vegan "Benevolent Bacon Burgers" look
like (cooking in bacon fat, sosueme).

https://i.postimg.cc/0jHCTfzj/Sweet-...con-Burger.jpg

Yes, they look like dog food and smell like it too.

And to compliment my new "Backup Bacon(tm)" comes another new
product called, "Backup Burger(tm)", which is also certified and
guaranteed to be "100% vegetarian animal-based food(tm)" (imagine
the uproar and free advertising for that semantically correct
statement)

https://i.postimg.cc/RF4GKqrS/Backjup-Burger-in-Pan.jpg

The Sweet Earth Burgers were terrible. The "bacon" was 98%
rehydrated vital wheat gluten and the "burger" was 95% rehydrated
pea protein concentrate (AKA "Textured Vegetable Protein")/ Andf
they were dry as Death Valley. The only thing we could taste was
artificial smoke and grill flavor. There were no amount of
condiments that could make it tastier or less dry. If they have
another free coupon, I would not partake in the gimmick again.

I was so glad that I had my "Backup Bacon(tm) Backup Burger(tm)"
that my eyes started watering and I started drooling and making cow
and swine sounds. I was so happy I had that backup plan that I was
halfway done with the BBBB before I realized I forgot to put the BB
on the bread! Doh! That's how good it was!

https://i.postimg.cc/yNFvDcbp/Backup...got-Burger.jpg

Keep a lookout for my new line of "Backup Foods(tm)" in a store near
you! Along with my soon-to-be-released, "You Wouldn't Believe Its
Not Meat!(tm)" line of "100% vegetarian animal-based foods(tm)".

-sw