Warning! Always wear ANSI approved safety goggles when reading posts by
Checkmate! In article >,
says...


>
> You just can't make up shit like this without being really ****ing
> dumb. This guy should have a $multi-million youtube channel.
>
>
> The Book of Saukrates - Version .9999683
>
> Usenet's Kook of the Month June 2013
> Usenet Kook of the Year 2013
> Usenet Coward of the Year 2013
> Rookie Kook of the Year 2013
> Kooki Information Minister Award
> Busted Urinal Award
> The Kluck Lysaght Memorial "Tar & Feathers" Award
> Village Idiot Award
> Ed Conrad Memorial "Brain of Stone" Award, October 2013
> Kook of The month: June 2013
> Liar of the month: September 2013
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Nothing you're about to see has been taken out of context.
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> TO BE SORTED:
>
> Steve, I was always overweight. That's the point of
> the disease, is overweightness
>
> I begin starving just by missing one SNACK per day.
>
> And if you had a brain you would use GOOGLE just like the rest of us
> intelelent pople.
>
> So ****ing what? I've saved at least $50 Dollar's in my checking
> account for 20 year's, and I'm not rich!!
>
> Try to stop pulling shit out of your ass and tryying to post it
> here as intelegence.
>
> Heavily processed foods means it tastes really delicios
>
> Breaking the law is illegal
>
> There's no PROOF that apple's are healthier then Fry's.
>
> The sign of intelligence is that you are constantly wondering.
> Idiots are always dead sure about every damn thing they are doing
> in their life.
>
> Wendys is havnig a drawing to win free hamburger's for a year. If
> you win they give you a $260 Wendys gift card. Thats only a triple
> cheeseburger ONCE A WEEK for a year!!! If I win free hamburgers
> for a year I expect to be able to get all the free hamburger's I
> can eat in a year not just ONCE A WEEEK! What a ripoff!!!!!!
>
> You know what? I have no ****ing clue.
>
> Well I'm not admittring that I'm wrong... but if I DID admit it I
> was wrong.
>
> No, I'm not backpedaling at all, asshole. The new year's is
> celebrated TWICE each year.
>
> Well that's just perfectlyfine, becouse I'm NOT a troll. The
> reason people are NOT ignoring me, is becouse they respect my
> knowledge and experience.
>
> Wrong steve, I can't believe your your aggreeing with me, becouse
> YOUR FULL OF SHIT.
>
> Jerry has deflected all accusations of virginity for years but
> finally admits it:
>
> Sqwertz> So you admit you're a *35* year old virgin.
>
> Jerry> Id' admit that a million times over. I DO NOT LIE, STEVE.
>
> But I'm not proud that I didn't waste my youth away in college, I
> actually have a LIFE to live here you know, why waste my time with
> education, which only leads to more WORK.
>
> Lookly closely and reread what UI just worte. I NEVER CLAIMED TO
> BE AN IDOIT...
>
> And just what is wrong with looking like a uneducated moron? I
> never claimed to be brilliant... my only field of expertise is,
> fast-food, other then that, well the quolity of education I
> received is NOT impressive. I never denied that.
>
> The religion I follow is, there is no god, and if there is anything
> that I need to treat as a god, it's ME becouse the only thing
> important to me, that brings my life and sort of meaning, is
> increasing my own pleasure.
>
> But far more important to myu life then any "religion" is my
> culture, and teh culture I have chosen is fast-food culture. Since
> fast-food gives me pleasure, going to taco bell every day is just
> me following my religious beliefs.
>
> I happened to graduated from those schools, moron.
>
> Jerry borrows $100 off of his brother under the false pretences
> that he's going to use the money for a health club membership:
>
> ARE you kidding me? I worked out GREAT FOR me.. I got a hundred
> dollors! I never said I would actually spent it on health-clubs.
> HE assumed that. And, whenver he says when are you going to pay me
> back, All I have to do is say, I don't have the money, which is
> almost always a true thing anyway. The only thing he would do with
> that money is waste in on tuition, whih is a waste because he's
> already smarter then 99.999% percent of the population.
>
> Excuse me, but your the one maknig an idoit of yourself here, not
> me.
>
> > it has been a well understood accepted fact that I am in chrage
> > here in alt.food.fast.food for many years
>
>
> > I wasn't critizing, I Was just pointing out his idoicy.
>
> Becouse steve, as I already explained multiple Times, the Subway
> diet is the only diet compatible with my unique metabolism. NOt
> all Diets are the same, and some actually couse me to GAIN weight,
> but most do mothing at all.
>
> The next time you are killfiled, you will not realize it, until,
> you look back and say, "gee I haven't posted anything in over a
> week... I must've been killfiled"
>
> There are currently 53 people in my kill-file, Including me.
>
> > God your a retard.
>
> I at least are smart enough to read the RIGHT GROUP that matches my
> interests.
>
> Steve you moran, I never said I didn't know how to use google.
>
> English is NOT my mother tongue, AMERICAN is. And in America, we
> have alittle thing called freedom of speech, which gaurentee's myt
> right to talk and spell any damn way I please.
>
> Oh and steve, I was fat LOOOONG before I started eating fast food
> every day.
>
> "Fast-food couses obesity" is a MYTH.
>
> I was completely educated about Apostrophe's in the THIRD GRADE,
> where it was tought to me that they are optional in word's ending
> in "s"
>
> Your main issue is, your stubborness and inability to just drop a
> argument oncew you lost it.
>
> Becouse I made the mistake of thinking Intelegent people posted
> hear the wouldv'e figured out it was obvious.
>
> Meanwhile I'm cruising around town in my new car, eating great food
> non-stop and enjoying life to the FULLEST.
>
> but there's a LOT of complete idiot's on the Internet, and many of
> them eat fast-food.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Jerry Sauk on Hygiene and Diet:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> I *AM* FAT, LAZY AND SLOVENLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> What's your point????
>
> I eat more in week then you probably do in Two Months!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> because when I order food for four people it's actually just for
> one person
>
> All I have to do is not shower for a week and eat bean burritos the
> day before. I'll knock out the whole crowd, in fact my brothers
> "banned" me from eating bean burritos.
>
> And you can't live on just Nacho's alone, you need other food like
> Taco's and burritos.
>
> I really don't think it's possible for me to get sick of Nacho's,
> I've been eating them non-stop for the last 25 years.
>
> I can eat three [foot-long Subway] sandwiches for one meal!
> +chips/soda/cookies etc
>
> Don't forget you have to wash/dry your hands also when your done
> washing the dishes. I'm pretty sure they wash thier hands several
> times a day, even though it's a waste of time/water.
>
> Soda is not sugar water. It doesn't even half sugar in it at all,
> it's corn syrop. And even if it WAS real sugar, then it's STILL not
> just sugar because they add many multiple other flavar's to each
> different soda, that's why they all taste different.
>
>
>
>
>
> Jerry the Doktor:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> "What the hell?? I've noticed the same thing too. I don't know the
> science or anything but when I have an entire pizza right before
> beditme I often wake up absolutely starving."
>
> The calorie's from soda do nothing to fill you up, and therefore
> don't count to your daily calorie requirement.
>
> Steve wrote: You don't have the balls. Jerry responds: I don't have
> a need to.
>
> But If your body isn't at 98 degrees, then your not alive.
>
> If I was dead, i'd be the first to know.
>
> Nobody drinks water.
>
>
>
>
>
> Jerry Sauk on Intelligence:
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Of the billion's of people on the internet I can't believe I'm the
> dumbest.
>
> Damn your one stupid idoit.
>
> That paragraph is unitellagible, so you need to improve your
> grammer
>
> Your going tohave to learn some basic common sence and reading
> skiils if this discussion is gonig to continue.
>
> BTW I'm a high school graduate. Kiss my ass. [Editors Note: Jerry
> did indeed graduate from Green Bay East High School]
>
> That's funny. STEVE callled me stupid all the time. A amazing
> coincidence? I THINK NOT.
>
> That's why everyone is always mean to me. It's because they envy
> me.
>
> JUST HOW STUPID DO YOU REALLY THINK I AM, STEVE. It never amazes me
> how retarted you people are.
>
> Please learn to tell the difference between realty and your
> imagination.
>
> Jerry defending his Spelling: Jim Asked: Why would your "speller
> checker" have flagged awkward and not have flagged "approptirate"
> or "majar" ? Jerry Responds: Because I didn't CHECk those words. I
> only checked awkward because I hadno idea how to spell it.
>
> You've been saying a lot fo dumb things lately.
>
> It's not cucumbers, it's relish. Once it's made into a condiment,
> it's not considered a "veggie" anymore.
>
> Philosophy by Saukrates, and other pearls of assorted wisdom.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> I LOVE fast food steve. If you insult it, your insulting me.
>
> Fast-Food IS real food, that's why it's called FOOD Ewvery damn
> culture on the planet involves food, well, fast- food is a part of
> my personal culture and is therefore a huge part of my life.
>
> I'm the most humble person on theis damn group,
>
> You know, you don't have to eat the burger end-to-end. Once I get
> just a little past half-way I turn the burger and switch to
> corner-to-corner so I can specifically avoid that problem. And I
> end up with meatless bun less then the size of a dime, which I can
> easily eat or cheaper to throw out.
>
> [Jerry getting frustrated when nobody responds to his Usenet posts]
> "why is nobody responding? I pay more than $20 a month for this,
> plus 5 for supernews!"
>
> I'll only admit I'm wrong if I actually AM wrong, which is rare.
>
> I reserve the right to discuss fast-food in this group free of
> prejudice harassment.
>
> Somtimes the troll's here are so quick to point out your an idiot,
> even when their the ones making the mistake's in the first place.
> I've learned to ignore it.
>
> SO WHAT'S WITH THE UNPROVOKED HOSTILITY???
>
> Those are what I said they are.. chicken SANDWICHES, which I do
> occaisionally eat because they don'th ave bones in them, and are
> thus much easier to eat. And they taste better then real chicken
> anyway.
>
> And also I'm sick of the extremely unprofessional behavior by the
> teen-age night crew at Subway... it has come to my attention that
> they have given me a nickname and I accidently overheard it. This
> is unnacceptable, how can they be so unprofessional to the people
> who are providing them with the money for their paycheck? [Editors
> Note: My sources at Subway have informed me that that nickname was
> "Batman" since Jerry dresses like a goth - probably paints his face
> white, too]
>
> [On the TAco Hell Drive-Through:] They said that there was too much
> fumes coming from my car and it was gassing out the employee's in
> the windows, and they said customers sometimes complained. They
> also said the engine was too loud and they could never hear my
> order or the person in front of me's. Due to modern technology,
> they should be able to solve this problem with some sort of
> inexpensive noise filter. I told them to go to hell and I was never
> coming back. My Taco Bell consumption will definitely decrease,
> whenever I DO go it will always be to another location.
>
> when you live with your parents you need to have a place of your
> own away from home. For me it's my car. Only thing that sucks about
> it is It's VERY difficult to drive whenever it's raining, for some
> reason whenever it rains once the car starts moving I can't stop
> it, because if I stop the engine dies and it won't restart until
> the next day. So I have to alter my directions to busy stoplights,
> and go thru stopsigns real slow hopefully no traffic is coming. I
> had a big problem last year when th eproblem first started, I
> thought I could make it thru the drive-thru at Taco Bell by hitting
> the brakes and the gas at the same time, but there was too much
> traffic there that I messed up and it stalled right by the order
> box. (the drive through has curbs so all the traffic was stuck)
> This was the same Taco Bell that I currently boycott. Anyway I
> couldn't get it started because of the rain, so three Taco Bell
> guys had to come out and push my car away in the rain. When they
> pushed me passed the window, I hit the brakes to stop and get my
> food, and the three guys got really mad and said some less then
> proffessional remarks to me. This was the first day I knew the
> manager there on a first-name-basis.
>
> And it's kinda fun to argue with Steve sometimes because he's so
> slow, and I admit he's one of the few people on the Internet that I
> can always gauranteed win an arguement with.
>
> Jerry on Employment:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sure I've had more jobs in the last five years then you've had
> in your entire life!
>
> Jerry the Lawyer:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Taco Bell is Public Property. Otehrwise they wouldd have no
> trepassing signs.
>
> Uhhh.... private companies can own and operate public property...
>
> NAD FOR THE THIRD TIME, I was not banned from Taco Bell, I
> BOYCOTTED that one store because I was "banned" from the
> drive-thru.
>
> Lifestyle, Jerry-style:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> I am VERY happy with my drive-thru lifstyle. But there is NO
> lifestyle, and you know it, that doesn't have it's annoyance's.
>
> I don't need a airplane to see the world. There are Mcdonald's ALL
> OVER THE WORLD, so whenever I enter a mcdonalds, and they are all
> the same, I am seeing the entire world.
>
> Fast-food is a majar part of my lifestyle/culture and I'm happy
> with it, because it's delicious. Being fat has nothing to do with
> it, there's a lot of people who eat tons of fast-food and isn't
> fat.
>
> Tavo Bell is a majar part of my daily personal culture, so of
> course when there's a change to it unjustly, and people are
> affected, it results in at least SOME part of suffering.
>
> Get a life. Fast-food places are fascinating cultural centers.
>
> Taco Bell is also pretty consistent, their usually always
> high-quality
>
> It's just proof that it's exceptible for some culture's to throw
> fast-food bags in the back seat and dispose of them all at once.
>
> [Jerry on washing dishes:] It takes me 0.5 seconds to toss my used
> taco bell bag into the back seat.
>
> Jerry, King of the Drive-Thru
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> the family should have actually gone INSIDE the store and let
> single people like me have exclusive use of the drive-thru.
>
> Jerry on Relationships:
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> I wrote: I care about you, Jerry. Jerry responds: Are drinking
> tonight?????????????????????????????
>
> a few years back, when I had my own place, I came over for
> thanksgiving and brought pizza, well when they saw it they thought
> it was for everyone and to make a long story short there was a big
> fight..
>
> [OP:] You have no idea what you are missing out on by refusing to
> leave your car. [Jerry Response:] Sure I do. Screaming kids,
> abusive fast-food workers, dirty tables, standing in line, having
> to use manners, the list goes on and on.
>
> That does it. One more insult, and your going back to my killfile.
> Consider yourself warned.
>
> Every family has thier own tradtiond, but the basics are FOOD.....
> .. and LOTS OF IT.
>
> How can you POSSIBLE brag to have as much success with human
> females as you do yet still have the time to waste your time on
> crap like this [referring to the Book of Saukisms].
>
> [Referring to his dining alone because otherwise he'd have to use
> "manners"] Be honest, Paco, tell me that you never farted while
> eating alone. And let me guess... it didn't stink of course.
>
> [POsted by his brother in another group]
>
> I love my brother but he's fat, stupid, works (occasionally) in a
> restaurant, is 28 and just moved back home.
>
> I'm taking my car less and less becuase it's current top speed is
> about 30 MPH

Damn! When I plonked that guy, I had no idea how much I was missing...

--
Checkmate ®
Author, Humorist, Cynic
Philosopher, Humanitarian
Poet, Elektrishun to the Stars
Usenet Shot-Caller
Copyright © 2018
all rights reserved

In loving memory of The Battle Kitten
May 2010-February 12, 2017

"There are many here among us,
who feel that life is but a joke."

"I am the author of nearly as much kook butthurt as
kensi." -Nadegda
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