On Sun, 27 May 2018 10:28:19 -0600, graham > wrote:

>On 2018-05-27 6:07 AM, wrote:
>> On Sun, 27 May 2018 21:05:59 +1000, Bruce >
>> wrote:
>>>>> Shouldn't men have some rights too?
>>>>
>>>> You're out of touch with how settlements go now, at least how they go
>>>> here. I am often at events at my younger daughters house where her ex
>>>> husband is present and also her current, that way they both get to
>>>> share their sons for Xmas Day etc. The first time it felt a bit
>>>> strange but we managed, now its a given. In fact he swings past to
>>>> pick me up and give me a drive out to her place. It's called Joint
>>>> Custody.
>>>
>>> Yes, I've heard of that But your daughter's in charge. What if she
>>> moves to Newfoundland? Or to Australia?
>>
>> She can't under the terms of joint custody, not that it really applies
>> any more as both boys are heading 30. When it started, she moved out,
>> and rented a place nearby. They both had to provide their tax
>> receipts to the court and the money was divided so that both
>> households were equal. At that point Paul had to pay her some extra.
>>
>> The boys were to do two weeks with her, two weeks with him but since
>> both of them had to travel occasionally in their jobs, they remained
>> flexible about it. Then when she bought a house and was earning
>> more, she had to pay him to keep the homes equal.
>>
>> The boys would leave their bikes at Joanna's in the a.m. and take the
>> school bus from there, returning to her home (and her 'fridge and
>> emptying it) before they biked home to Pauls!
>>
>> Basically it worked well because the boys could not do that favoured
>> thing of saying '..but Dad lets us do that' because they knew if they
>> did she would simply pick up the phone and ask him or vice versa
>>
>> These days he is talking of moving to Honduras and retiring there and
>> both sons get a bit exasperated with him as being impractical The
>> joint custody is now over because both boys are over the age of
>> majority.
>>
>That's all very well but your anecdote applies only to co-operating
>couples. If one or both are vindictive, all bets are off!!

True enough and although accusations fly about womens lib, I
constantly reminded my daughter, 'put the boys first, not their fault
you are getting a divorce' - because of that I also felt empowered to
speak to Paul when he moved a girlfriend in who was beastly with the
younger boy. She often called him 'little *******' so I reminded him
that he was a legal baby whereas her baby was actually the ******* and
if she said it again to him, I was going to enlighten her myself.
Worked