E F wrote:

>=20
> I agree with Peter and George. You have so much to learn before
> opening an eating establishment. Good luck to you!
>=20

A column I wrote a while back...

You don't really want to open a restaurant
There is this notion abroad that, because you can cook a good dinner=20
at home for some friends, you can operate a restaurant. Let me say=20
this clearly. Unmistakably. With no room for misinterpretation. You're=20
crazy to even entertain the notion.
Seems a bit harsh, wouldn't you say? I mean, we're reasonably bright=20
people and we should be able to deal with something as simple as a=20
restaurant. It isn't rocket science, exactly. How difficult can it be?
This from George Orwell in his novel, =93Down and Out in Paris and Londo=
n:=94
"... would be the fearful noise and disorder during rush hours. It is=20
something so different from the steady work in a shop or a factory=20
that it looks at first sight like mere bad management. But it is=20
really quite unavoidable ... by its nature it comes in rushes and=20
cannot be economized. You cannot, for instance, grill a steak two=20
hours before it is wanted; you have to wait till the last moment, by=20
which time a mass of other work has accumulated, and then do it all=20
together, in frantic haste. The result is that at meal times everyone=20
is doing two men's work, which is impossible without noise and=20
quarreling. Indeed, the quarrels are a necessary part of the process,=20
for the pace would never be kept up if everyone did not accuse=20
everyone else of idling. It was for this reason that during the rush=20
hour the whole staff cursed like demons."
Got it? Restaurants are no place for civilized people to work in.=20
Let's paint a small picture here. It's based on the past few weeks in=20
a kitchen where I'm the chef and a couple decades that qualified me to=20
be doing it. (Chef, in classic terminology means he's the guy who runs=20
the kitchen - the head cook, final culinary authority, and the person=20
who manages the operation. Nowadays, it too often means someone who=20
only cooks and, while that's certainly an honorable profession I've=20
spent a good portion of my life doing, it isn't the full meaning.) .
In the kitchen, every kitchen, a kind of system develops based on the=20
needs of the kind of business it is. People come to restaurants and=20
clubs to dine. That assumes they want their food soon. Along with=20
everyone else who just walked through the door. The servers cruise=20
serenely through the dining room (the good ones) and attend to the=20
diners while the kitchen staff takes raw and partially-cooked foods to=20
the final state for delivery to customers.
Step with me through the swinging doors to the kitchen. The first=20
thing you notice is the noise. Kitchens are loud because of the=20
velocity everyone moves at. Pans bang against stovetops, spoons=20
against pot walls. Dish machines hiss and splash and steam up=20
eyeglasses. Empty saut=E9 pans thrown into the metal bucket for the=20
dishwasher to come pick up. Whisks beating a kind of musical time to=20
the soprano notes from the deep fryer and the kerchunk as the ice=20
machine drops another hundred cubes. There's a rhythm to it all and=20
it's a fast, hard, loud one. Cooks and prep people barking orders to=20
each other.
Then the wall of heat hits you. Kitchens are very hot. In the middle=20
of a meal service time, it can get over 100F back there. You stand=20
facing a deep fryer with 50 pounds of fat at 365 degrees Fahrenheit.=20
Next to that is the charbroiler and the surface grates can get up near=20
800F. The flattop grill is cooler, just 350F. The burners on the stove=20
- 8 of them - for saut=E9 pans to finish the vegetables and entrees. Odd =

double boilers with hot sauces and broths, steam softly hissing out of=20
the bottom pan. The overhead range hood roars as it tries to suck hot=20
air away from the cook line faster than it can be heated.
There's little small talk. People are telling each other what needs=20
to be done and they offer status reports. It doesn't sound polite.=20
Everyone speaks loudly because of the background noise and they=20
usually sound angry because they're almost shouting. If you don't have=20
a well-developed sense of urgency, the whole process looks like=20
anarchy. In fact, it's more like a raucous ballet on a wet, slippery=20
floor.
Tickets are coming in faster than they can call them. As each=20
arrives, the cook calls out to the others what's on the ticket so they=20
can do their parts. What kind of salad. Which appetizer - =93app=94 in th=
e=20
trade. Soup? Entree? Accompaniments? Special requests or needs? Got=20
it. Next ticket.
The language is abrupt and without the social lubricants. No pleases=20
and thank yous in the heat of battle. You won't hear, =93Bob, may I=20
please have two New York strips medium rare, a baby filet medium well=20
and three ribeyes medium. I also need two snapper specials and would=20
appreciate the four pasta carbonaras as soon as you can get to them.=20
Thank you.=94
=93Certainly, Gary. And the grilled portobello mushrooms are nearing=20
completion and should be done in less than five minutes.=94
What you hear is this machine gun shout, =93 two newyorks midrare...=20
baby filet midwell... three ribs mid... two snappers... four=20
carbonaras.=94 Forty-three words compressed to thirteen. And so it=20
goes. =93Gary; ports in 5.=94 Nineteen words to 4. And it shows no sign o=
f=20
letting up since there are a bunch of checks hanging up to be done.
But in the meantime, a server just rang in three tables within two=20
minutes. Since he couldn't take the orders that fast, it's obvious=20
he's been holding them and is counting on the kitchen to cooperate in=20
getting the earlier tickets done so they could ship them first. He's=20
screaming for aps on a ticket with a time stamp barely two minutes old.
It's too, too easy to get caught up in the frenzy of the moment. The=20
biggest trick is to know when to sprint and when to stop to regroup.=20
Taking that small second's pit stop to make sure everything is=20
covered. Doing it all on the fly, the passion carrying the process.=20
Shouts and seeming rudeness the hallmark of the moment. And when it's=20
past, to revert to the normal discourse respectful of the others that=20
made the process a team exercise. The smiles that say =93We did it again =

and we did it well.=94
Anyone who belongs in the kitchen will learn those lessons. Everyone=20
else needs to content themselves with enjoying the results of the=20
process.
So, this restaurant you want to open...

Pastorio