On Sun, 5 Jul 2015 20:23:10 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> wrote:

>
>"Doris Night" > wrote in message
.. .
>>
>>>> On Sat, 4 Jul 2015, Janet B wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 20:26:36 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>>>>> > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> snip
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>> Why were you trying to help me here? I didn't ask for help.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> And yet it seems everyone interpreted it that way, like so many times
>>>>>>> before. So they're all wrong, are they? Read what you wrote again.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> snip
>>>>>
>>>>> The question is implied. It's a statement that leads the listener to
>>>>> believe that an answer should be given. ( This is an unfortunate
>>>>> habit of speech that you have.) You may not think you are asking for
>>>>> help, but you are. You need to change the way you express yourself.
>>>>> You said " I wish there was a sweetener I could use. So far I
>>>>> haven't found
>>>>> one. " The implied question is, does anyone know of a sweetener that
>>>>> I could use. Watch your sentence construction and you won't be
>>>>> bothered by unwanted help.
>>>>> Janet US
>>
>> Julie, if my husband can't find his keys, and says something like "I
>> can't find my keys," according to you, I should just ignore him, or
>> reply with something like "Oh, that's too bad." Then sit back and wait
>> for him to specifically request some help.
>>
>If I can't find my keys, and I want someone to help me look for them then I
>ask them to help look. Simply stating that I can't find them is just
>stating that I can't find them.
>
>> But I don't do that. I make suggestions as to where his keys might be.
>> I also generally pause what I'm doing and actively assist him in
>> looking for them.
>
>Well, that's you.
>>
>> What do you do in a case like this?
>
>If someone merely just said that to me, which I don't think they ever have,
>I suppose I would give them a smart remark like, "Okay... Why are you
>telling me this?"
>
>In this house, nobody would announce what you said. I might say that I
>can't find the keys and could they keep an eye out for them? Or in the case
>of one person here, it would be a frantic, "OMG! Help me find my keys!"
>
>I just can't imagine anyone making a statement like you said above and then
>expecting others to do something about it. Wouldn't be something that
>people I know would do.

I care about my husband, so I generally go out of my way to help him
in any way I can. In fact, he wouldn't even have to say anything. I'd
observe him poking around on his desk, in pockets, etc, and I'd ask
what he was looking for. Or I'd intuit that the keys were missing.
From what you just wrote, it appears that you and the people in your
life don't take care of each other that way.

I can't imagine any situation where I'd give my husband a "smart
remark." I guess things are done differently in the PNW.

Doris