"Doris Night" > wrote in message
...
>
>>> On Sat, 4 Jul 2015, Janet B wrote:
>>>
>>>> On Sat, 4 Jul 2015 20:26:36 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>>>> > wrote:
>>>>
>>>> snip
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Why were you trying to help me here? I didn't ask for help.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> And yet it seems everyone interpreted it that way, like so many times
>>>>>> before. So they're all wrong, are they? Read what you wrote again.
>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> snip
>>>>
>>>> The question is implied. It's a statement that leads the listener to
>>>> believe that an answer should be given. ( This is an unfortunate
>>>> habit of speech that you have.) You may not think you are asking for
>>>> help, but you are. You need to change the way you express yourself.
>>>> You said " I wish there was a sweetener I could use. So far I
>>>> haven't found
>>>> one. " The implied question is, does anyone know of a sweetener that
>>>> I could use. Watch your sentence construction and you won't be
>>>> bothered by unwanted help.
>>>> Janet US
>
> Julie, if my husband can't find his keys, and says something like "I
> can't find my keys," according to you, I should just ignore him, or
> reply with something like "Oh, that's too bad." Then sit back and wait
> for him to specifically request some help.
>
If I can't find my keys, and I want someone to help me look for them then I
ask them to help look. Simply stating that I can't find them is just
stating that I can't find them.

> But I don't do that. I make suggestions as to where his keys might be.
> I also generally pause what I'm doing and actively assist him in
> looking for them.

Well, that's you.
>
> What do you do in a case like this?

If someone merely just said that to me, which I don't think they ever have,
I suppose I would give them a smart remark like, "Okay... Why are you
telling me this?"

In this house, nobody would announce what you said. I might say that I
can't find the keys and could they keep an eye out for them? Or in the case
of one person here, it would be a frantic, "OMG! Help me find my keys!"

I just can't imagine anyone making a statement like you said above and then
expecting others to do something about it. Wouldn't be something that
people I know would do.