On Fri, 17 Oct 2014 09:50:05 +1100, Jeßus > wrote:

>On Thu, 16 Oct 2014 11:46:06 -0500, Moe DeLoughan >
>wrote:
>
>>That's because Julie isn't looking for help, she's looking for attention.
>>
>>http://www.thenew-renaissanceman.com/mind-games-2.html
>>
>>Have you ever found yourself in this situation, when someone asks for
>>suggestions and then rejects every single option offered to them. This
>>is a very common mind game played among groups, and it was actually
>>the first game to ever be recorded and studied. Dr. Eric Berne has
>>given it the colloquial name of "Why don't you- yes, but..."
>>
>>At face value, this interaction is pretty straightforward. It consists
>>of a man or woman asking for suggestions, but then rejecting each one
>>of them as they are offered.
>>
>>This interaction would seem to be a simple case of an adult asking for
>>the advice of other adults, but the rejection of all of the presented
>>ideas would suggest that there's some deeper ulterior motive.
>>
>>The game is not about actually receiving suggestions, but rather about
>>denying them. Berne describes the interaction as one between the
>>psychological parent and the psychological child:
>>
>> Parent: "I can make you grateful for my help."
>>
>> Child: "I'd like to see you try."
>>
>>Realistically, by initiating this game all you're really doing is
>>proposing a challenge: you're saying "I have a problem, and none of
>>you are wise enough to fix it." The others in the group then try, and
>>one by one they are shot down.
>>
>>By fending off solution after solution you're also managing to show
>>that you won't surrender to others. You're showing that nobody can
>>offer you a reasonable solution, and subsequently that give in to a
>>barrage of rationality.
>>
>>Luckily, the anti-thesis for this game is incredibly simple. When
>>someone sets up for the game, it usually suffices to simply say
>>"That's too bad". All you need to do is make it clear that you won't
>>be offering any suggestions to be shot down. When the advice seeker
>>sees this they will quickly lose interest or become frustrated; games
>>aren't fun when you're the only player.
>>
>>It also works to turn the suggestions back around onto the advice
>>seeker. Tell them, "That sounds awful. What are you going to do about
>>it?". This shows that you're not interested in playing the game,
>>causing them to defer or seek out a more willing crowd.
>
>That describes her perfectly - or at least her principal
>characteristic we see here on RFC, and goes a fair way in explaining
>the origins of her pathology.
>
>"By fending off solution after solution you're also managing to show
>that you won't surrender to others" I think this goes a long, long way
>in explaining Julie. It fits her perfectly.
>
>Don't know how you came across this, but well done.

Hasn't Julie said that she has taken a psychology course, and that her
mother was a counsellor? She should know all about social games.

Doris