On 2013-12-07 08:10:09 +0000, jmcquown said:

> On 12/7/2013 1:55 AM, gtr wrote:
>> On 2013-12-07 05:35:33 +0000, jmcquown said:
>>
>>>> No, I haven't. The thing about refusing to sing is really a statement
>>>> about their personal fears, about hyper-sensitivity about exposing
>>>> themselves to criticism.
>>>
>>> Or they just can't sing, they *know* they can't sing...
>>
>> Everybody can sing. I think you're talking about "good" and "bad"
>> singing, but I'm not.
>>
> Let's put it this way... when my SO tries to sing to get me identify a
> song, he's way off key. No one wants to hear that.

YOU don't want to hear that. I'm a musician so you'd think I'd give a
damn, but I don't. I care more about people enjoying themselves and
having fun than I do about what's "good" and what's "bad". Not
everybody is A) As judgemental as you think or B) as judgemental as
your experience reflects.

> Really and truly. Those are the folks who do Karaoke.

Oh goodie: Karaoke as one-size-fits-all cultural meme for Celebrity vs.
Loser. The "kind of people who bitch about the kind of people who do
Karaoke"; I'll put them on my list.

>>> ...and find no reason why they should subject themselves to
>>> humiliation or criticism by trying to sing.
>>
>> We're in agreement: They're worried about humilation and criticism. I
>> don't want to be with timid souls so worried about humiliation and
>> criticism, they can't open up their mouth and sing.
>>
> We are not in agreement. I had to try out for music class when I was a
> child. It was embarrassing.

Some people get over the embarassments of childhood fears of other's
judgment. Some don't. I can't fix broken humans, and so don't want to
wed them.

> I happen to have a good voice and good pitch. But I hate singing in
> front of people. I'm sure as heck not going to *audition* like that
> for a relationship. That's just silly.

Audition?!? You've now contorted what you perceive to be MY judgement
into a certain shape which it doesn't resemble in the least and
cagegorizied it under "judgment", which it specifically is not. As I
said before, it's not about "good" and "bad". I don't give a damn
whether a woman can sing well or not. If she asks "Say, do you know
that song 'For Once in My Life', and I say "Sing a few bars, maybe I
do". And she says "NO!" That's what I'm talking about. Somebody who
won't sing "Happy Birthday" because it might be "wrong" or they might
be criticized.

> I sing when I feel like singing. Not on command.

Who the **** said they had to sing on command!? Do you contort all your
maladies into what you perceive other people are thinking? Cause
you've got my thinking wrong on every single count.

A great old song comes on the radio and the gang sings it. But not
Peggy, Peggy is afraid she'll be judged. She's afraid someone--while
having a good time that is unrelated to her skill set will stop and
castigate her. I don't know where she picked up in life, a mean
parent, and overbearing husband, but I can't help that kind of person
and don't want to hang with them. It's a small marker. But it's
amarker.