"Gary" > wrote in message ...
> Julie Bove wrote:
>>
>> If I ask for help, then I want the help. But if I haven't asked for
>> help,
>> then the help isn't help. To me it is someone else trying to get me to
>> do
>> what they want me to do. Like a control thing.
>
> yeah. Years ago, when my daughter had some problem, she would tell me
> about
> it and I would end up giving her my advice. And she would resent my
> "intrusion" and telling her what she should do. But I was just drawing on
> my life experiences to try to help her. She saw it as control...telling
> her
> what to do. Eventually I realized that she just needed to "vent" to
> someone....get her thoughts out of her system but she didn't want any
> solutions. Being a good parent is an ongoing education.
>
> In my next life, no kids. One problem solved. ;-D

Indeed! My dad will call and ask how things are going. And then if I
mention a problem, he might get upset and tell me not to tell him because
there is nothing he can do about it. I don't tell people things because I
want them to do something about it. Unless that person is a repairman or
some such thing. Some person who *can* remedy the situation. Seems that it
is human nature to try to fix things for others. I try not to do this but I
suppose at times I am guilty of it too.