On Sat, 02 Mar 2013 08:40:50 -0500, Nancy Young
> wrote:

>On 3/2/2013 8:27 AM, jmcquown wrote:
>> On 3/1/2013 3:48 PM, wrote:
>
>>> DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am old enough to recall when guests came first.
>>> Drop-ins might have been unexpected, but never unwanted or unwelcome.
>>> The family made accommodations as if they had been invited -- even if
>>> guests got most of the meal or the children of the household ate peanut
>>> butter sandwiches.
>
>> > sacrifices for adults all the time, so it would have been considered
>> rude
>> > for the "hosts" to make the "guests" eat the PBJ sandwiches instead.
>> I only
>> > wish MM had not ignored that possibility; it would have made for a more
>> > interesting explanation of how and why times change.
>
>> It doesn't really matter why things have changed, does it? Fact is,
>> they have. This *isn't* the 1950's. IMHO it's rude to show up
>> unannounced (*especially* around dinner time). I don't consider people
>> like that "guests".
>
>Miss Manners makes me laugh. She is the queen of setting people
>straight. Clearly the writer has annoyed someone by dropping in
>on them and was looking for backup that it's the other person's
>problem, not anything they were doing wrong. On what planet is it
>polite to show up at dinner time and eat the food that had been meant
>for the children?
>
>nancy

I think it's matter of situational and tradition. As a child all us
kids that played together would be welcome to eat at a friend's house
when we happened to be there at mealtime, all that was required was a
call to a parent for notification... when I was a kid no one cooked
just enough, leftovers on purpose were very typical so it was no
biggie to feed another small kid or two... and I fed many of my own
daughter's playmates the same. And then a situation can arise where a
relative or close friend could be in need of comforting over some
personal dilemma and so it was expected to feed them come meal time.
How many would tell their brother, sister, or parent they are not
welcome to stay for dinner if they happened to arrive close to meal
time? But I sure ain't gonna feed the Jahoevas when they knock at
dinner time, they be lucky I don't shove their bible up their butt.