http://www.heraldextra.com/lifestyle...1c03ebed2.html

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am old enough to recall when guests came first. Drop-ins might have been unexpected, but never unwanted or unwelcome. The family made accommodations as if they had been invited -- even if guests got most of the meal or the children of the household ate peanut butter sandwiches.

Nowadays the family's schedule comes first, and drop-ins might not even be invited in for a brief chat and coffee. Calling first does not mean they will be welcome either.

Is this a sign of the rudeness that is so pervasive in society?

GENTLE READER: At first, Miss Manners thought you must have meant to write that you recalled when guests "called" first. It seemed unlikely that you would be old enough to predate the telephone, the invention that made asking-before-appearing possible.

Certainly, people should show great consideration for their guests. But guests are also obliged to show consideration. Popping up unexpectedly and eating the children's dinner does not meet that standard.

(end)

While I'd like to agree with Miss Manners, I suspect that what the writer meant was that he/she lived in a rural area where few people had phones - maybe in the 1950s? - and that kids, unlike now, were expected to make sacrifices for adults all the time, so it would have been considered rude for the "hosts" to make the "guests" eat the PBJ sandwiches instead. I only wish MM had not ignored that possibility; it would have made for a more interesting explanation of how and why times change.

Lenona.