I'm back on the laptop wrote:
> A friend of mine is going to hold a 500th birthday party for his dining
> table.
>
> Yes, the table is (technically) 500+ years old. It has been authenticated
> to have come from an old English 'manor' and was made approx 200 years ago.
> The timber the table is made of has been examined, and it has been deemed
> by some tree expert dude that the timber was approx 300+ years old when it
> was cut down to make the table.
>
> I have long harboured an intense desire to somehow come into possession of
> the table.... but short of wiping out my friend, his family, and all his
> families offspring...... there's not much chance. And the bloody thing is
> *WAY* too heavy to stage a 'home invasion' and carry it off....... which
> would be way to completely obvious!! It's about 10' long.... I think I have
> a couple of pics of it somewhere......
>
> ahhhhh yes, here they are...........
>
>
> http://s199.photobucket.com/albums/a...%20Day%202009/
>
>
> So yes, we are having a 500th birthday party....... and all presents are to
> be made of ..... you guessed it..... wood!!
>
>
> BTW, the grandfather clock in the picture set is a paltry 200+ years old.
>
> So now I'm trying to think of something made of wood that will complement
> the table....... because that's where I want *our* present to reside :-)
>
> The food........ well, his wife and I get on like a house on fire, as she
> is the same as me. She does *all* the cooking...... no-one brings *any*
> food to the party whatsoever.
>
>
You need to do that home invasion and then ship the table to ME!
Nice! I was going to say those end legs were kind-of impractical,
so you could just send me the top, but they do go together so nicely.

--
Jean B.