On 04/01/2012 2:58 PM, aem wrote:

> And if you accept a dinner invitation and then after that the host/ess
> calls to turn it into a potluck do you feel free to decline at that
> point? That's not happened to me, I hasten to add, but I suppose it
> could. I can see declining but it would be awkward. -aem

Yes. It would be awkward. It might make you look cheap or lazy... like
the host(ess) that changed its mind to make it a pot luck.

I figure there are times and places for potluck. They are a good idea
for groups of people who aren't all that close, who like to get together
and socialize but don't feel obligated to pay for everyone.

I have friends who host pot luck parties and invite people who like to
cook good food. There are always lots of interesting foods and
interesting people.

We used to have pot luck Boxing Day for my wife's family. We always used
to have my parents and a few others for Christmas Eve and in my parents
later years we had Christmas dinner here. Stores were close, ruling out
last minute shopping, and we simply didn't have time to prepare another
big spread, or the room in the fridge to store more food.

And then there are deals like a friend of mine was "invited" to a few
years ago, previously discussed here..... a neighbour was throwing a
party for her chef husband. Our friend was asked to bring enough roast
beef tenderloin for everyone.... two whole tenderloins, plus two bottles
of wine and the hostess gave her the names of the bottles, and both
expensive. Our friend initially accepted but later called and made an
excuse not to go. Then she later heard from another neighbour who had
been invited and was asked to bring those items.