Ozgirl > wrote:


: "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
: ...
: >
: > "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
: > ...
: >>
: >>
: >> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
: >> ...
: >>>
: >>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
: >>> ...
: >>>> On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
: >>>>> Tiger > wrote:
: >>>>
: >>>>> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant
: >>>>> every
: >>>>> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take
: >>>>> home 1/2
: >>>>> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a
: >>>>> soft
: >>>>> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left
: >>>>> overs are
: >>>>> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at
: >>>>> home the
: >>>>> : next day.
: >>>>>
: >>>>> : i didn't define elderly
: >>>>> : he's 102 and she's 97
: >>>>>
: >>>>> : kate
: >>>>>
: >>>>> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches
: >>>>> for a
: >>>>> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the
: >>>>> house 5 das
: >>>>> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your
: >>>>> mother
: >>>>> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from
: >>>>> the
: >>>>> computer.
: >>>>>
: >>>>> Wendy
: >>>>
: >>>> Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I
: >>>> don't know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I
: >>>> know some restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in
: >>>> advance, frozen and you only need to reheat them. These would be
: >>>> more upscale meals and typically are a touch more appealing than
: >>>> the meals on wheels options.
: >>>
: >>> I know that is available in Seattle. Don't know about where they
: >>> live. But I know they would never eat that. Between all their
: >>> dietary issues and pickiness it would never work.
: >>
: >> Its amazing what people will do when there aren't other options
: >> though. The time has now come where they have to rethink their whole
: >> lifestyle. Its too late to say they should have thought these things
: >> out a long time ago though. I used to care for a man who had a
: >> stroke, his wife is a well known author. They lived not all that far
: >> from me but on acres in this wonderful valley. The wife couldn't look
: >> after him and write as well so she got a nursing service in to do all
: >> his personal needs stuff twice a day. She also hired a woman who came
: >> in and cooked fabulous meals a few times a week. They didn't need to
: >> be frozen as she was there often enough. She would also do a bit of
: >> basic housework as well. It worked for them. I have tried online
: >> shopping a couple of times, didn't like it as much as going to the
: >> supermarket myself but that is workable. You could order for them if
: >> they choose that path.
: >
: > I found out tonight that most likely he will not be allowed to drive
: > for 6 months. He is doing quite well in some ways but there are some
: > memory issues. We were told this will most likely get better.
: >
: > I told the person who was working with him that my mom doesn't like to
: > cook (she took offense to this) and that they normally go out to eat,
: > which they do. I also told her that he doesn't know how to cook much,
: > which he doesn't. So she said they would put him in the kitchen and
: > teach him how to cook a few things. My mom seemed a bit horrified at
: > this and said he was capable of getting his own cereal and making eggs
: > if he wanted them. And that she could cook but didn't because *he*
: > liked to go out to eat. I am not sure how much truth there is in this
: > at all. Frankly I don't think so.
: >
: > Yes, I know they both like to go out to eat and always have. But I
: > think it is more a matter of her not wanting to cook over the years
: > and her being so limited as to what she will cook.
: >
: > I guess we will just have to see how that goes. Personally I don't
: > think she should be allowed to drive but they did just renew her
: > license in May. She is very stubborn and will fight me tooth and nail
: > if I try to do the shopping for them (which I likely could not because
: > she is super picky about brands and things) or even drive them to the
: > store. She hates to shop and worse yet she and my dad hate to go
: > shopping with me! I like to go up and down every aisle looking for
: > new products and if I am going to buy something I read the label.
: > That is not how she shops. Although my dad does like to look for new
: > things and will frequently pick up things that catch his eye that are
: > not on the list.
: >
: > I may have to drive them to some Drs. appointments and such. My SIL
: > has her hands full with her own parents who are older than mine. And
: > my nephew is now back in college and baby-sits his girlfriend's nieces
: > and nephews in his spare time. So that kind of just leaves me.

: Dunno how it works there but here, in this situation, a social worker
: would come and talk to the patient and spouse/carer to make sure
: everything is going to be ok when the patient is discharged. If someone
: other than you can do all the talking that your mum hates it might have
: a better effect. Eventually your mum will realise she has to "give" on a
: few things.

If your Dad is on regular medicare, not an advantage plan(Ieach of those
works differently) he should get certain home care once he is ou of the
rehab. with Syd it was 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, of home health aid,
who can cook or do light cleaning and help with personal care, 3 times a
week physical therapy and 3 times a week occupational therapy. this help
decreases over time unti it disappears. It can help but you miht need to
hire someone for more hours if your Mother can't handle everything.

Wendy