"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> my mother cared for my paternal grandmother until she passed away at home,
> then she continued to care for my paternal grandfather until he became
> uncontrollable... he lingered for five more years... my mom and
> grandmother were extremely close, she is now sharing cargiving duties for
> her mother... this is why she is flatly refusing to have us care for
> her/my dad... she says even when you love and respect the person it make
> you resentful, Lee

My MIL was very angry at first when she was put in a nursing home. And then
she would escape. She wasn't capable of getting out by herself. But my
BIL's had taken her either to her home or their homes on different occasions
and she would flat out refuse to go back, physically fighting them all the
way. It got so bad that they would only allow her out for brief periods at
a time and never to anyone's house.

She does seem much happier there though. At home nobody ever visited. She
was having to eat old, bad food. I would buy her food every time we visited
but someone was stealing it. I don't know who. They were also talking the
cleaning supplies and papergoods that I bought for her.

Worst of all she was being left alone sometimes because there was simply not
someone available to care for her. And she really needs round the clock
care.

Now she is getting proper food. She knows a lot of people in there. And
people who come to visit often stop to visit her because they know her.