my mother cared for my paternal grandmother until she passed away at home,
then she continued to care for my paternal grandfather until he became
uncontrollable... he lingered for five more years... my mom and grandmother
were extremely close, she is now sharing cargiving duties for her mother...
this is why she is flatly refusing to have us care for her/my dad... she
says even when you love and respect the person it make you resentful, Lee
"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
> well.
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> knowing your limits and those of your brother is an excellent starting
>> point, it might be a screaming match but you and brother if he will are
>> going to just have to say, this is what we can do to help, in order to
>> keep you out of a nursing home this is what we need to have you do...
>> that could be shopping with you, o r letting you shop for them... i swear
>> julie scaring them into understanding that once socail services gets into
>> it is an ok stratedgy, i have seen som horrid results when even well
>> meaning socail service people get into it, Lee
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> and even if the basics/dry goods are odered online and fresh is picked
>>>> up that works also, there are always options in this situation, my
>>>> mother and i recently discussed this and she said in no way would they
>>>> move in with any of us it would be assisted living or a nursing home as
>>>> its too stressful for the caregivers once you can't live alone, she was
>>>> dead serious and meant every word... Lee
>>>
>>> Safeway still delivers groceries here but I doubt they would go for
>>> that.
>>>
>>> I do know that I am not capable of caring for anyone for any length of
>>> time. I tried to do that with my MIL but given my own medical problems
>>> and disability I am not fit for that. I can cook meals and do a little
>>> light housekeeping. That's it!
>>>
>>> We don't have any room in our house for them at all. I don't think my
>>> brother does either and nobody would be home at their house anyway.
>>>
>>
>>
>>