Tiger Lily > wrote:
: On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
: > > wrote in message
: > ...
: >>
: >>
: >> "Julie > wrote in message
: >> ...
: >>>
: >>> > wrote in message
: >>> ...
: >>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
: >>>
: >>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
: >>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
: >>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
: >>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
: >>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
: >>> it.
: >>>
: >>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
: >>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
: >>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
: >>> them.
: >>
: >> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
: >> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
: >> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
: >> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
: >> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
: >> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
: >> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
: >> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
: >> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
: >
: > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
: > do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
: > And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
: > there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
: > this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
: >
: > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
: > another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
: > them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
: > once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
: > the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
: > the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
: > afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
: > as they do!
: >
: > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
: > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
: > was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
: >
: > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
: > She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
: > nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
: > ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
: > once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
: > to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
: > blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
: > know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
: > and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
: > has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
: > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
: > before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
: > is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
: > really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
: > easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
: > because he is a programmer.
: >
: > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
: > or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
: > given that my dad will do these things for her.
: >
: > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
: >
: >
: The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
: day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
: the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
: boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
: their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
: next day.

: i didn't define elderly
: he's 102 and she's 97

: kate

Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5 das
a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your mother
could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
computer.

Wendy